Jýregim tappasa da júbanyshyn,

Toqtatpaytyn alapat syr aghysyn.

Óitkeni sen mәngi óshpeytin airyqsha pәk,

Mening mahabbatymnyng shyraghysyn!

Salynyp jýrgenmen múngha bóten,

Bizge ortaq beymәlim syr bar ma  eken!

Ayyrbasqa Aydy alyp bersen-daghy

Sening bir tal shashyna qúrban etem!

- Ózindi ansap, ótedi kóktem, óter kýz...

Men sizge óleng shumaqtarymen hat jazyp otyrmyn, al siz ýnsizdik qaqpasyna kirip alyp, shyghar emessiz.

- Tilim sayraghanymen, qolym tiymey jatyr, sәulem. Sen degende jan berer edim, әtten, bosay almay otyrghanym.

- Ózindi saghynghanymday siz meni mýlde saghynbapsyz...

- Nege birden ashugha erik beresin. Saghan qabaq týigen emes, kýlimdep jýrgen jarasady, sәulem... Júmysymnyng óte jauapty ekenin bilesing ghoy.

- Jaraydy....

- Renjip qaldyng ba? Keshirshi....

- Renjigenim joq. Men de sizding ýidegi jaraly jolbarysynyz siyaqtymyn ghoy.

- Aqylynnan ainaldym... Sәulem, mine, men bosadym. Ólendetip jauap jazshy. Taghatsyzdana kýtip otyrmyn! Kem degende ýsh ólenmen jauap jazshy.

- Shabytym joq...

- Jaraydy... Núr-Súltangha qashan keletin boldyn?

- Sizge tosynsyy jasaghym kelgen edi, biraq shyday almaymyn, aita bereyinshi, men dәl erteng siz tynystap jýrgen qalanyng auasyna ortaqtasatyn bolamyn.

- Jaraysyn, jan sәulem! Endeshe, biz qalanyng shangha bókken las auasymen emes, tabighaty kórkem jerine baryp tynystap kelsek, qalay qaraysyn?

- Jýregim, búl joly sizding aitqanynyzdy orynday almaymyn. Mening әr saghatym, tipti, minutym sanauly. Men múnda tordaghy búlbúlmyn ghoy...

- Týsinikti, endeshe, men seni Qaraghandynyng jolynan tosyp alamyn. Kóriskenshe, kýnim!

- Jýregim, men sizdi jaqsy kóremin...

Kýieuining júmys ýstelin jinaugha kirisken Aynashtyng jýregi toqtap qala jazdady. Jogharyda ólenmen órilip, kórkem tilmen kestelenip jazylghan hattardy oqyp, óz kózine ózi sene almady. Sirә, joldasy asyghyp ketse kerek, úyaly telefonyn ýide qaldyrypty. Otaghasynyng qaltasyn timiskileu, bolmasa, telefonyn tekseru múnyng әdetinde joq edi. Anasy ýnemi: «Er azamatynnyng jaghasyn ghana emes, kónilin de kirletpe!» dep qúlaghyna qúiyp otyratyn. Azamatym renjimesin dep aitqanyn eki etpey, qas-qabaghyn baghatyn. Sóitken tiregi, ózine beymәlim basqagha jýregining tórinen oryn beripti. Sharasyz kýide qalghan ol, әriyne, óshin eki kózinen aldy. Janardan aqqan jas omyrauyn judy. «Satqyn!» dedi kijinip, «Ajyrasamyn!» dedi aiqaylap, jalghyz ózi dangharaday tórt bólmeli ýiding apyr-topyryn shyghardy.

Ashugha erik berdi. Jylay jýrip, jol sómkesin rettedi. Ebin tauyp, ol әielmen sóilesuge bel budy. Ýiin tauyp alyp, shashyn taldap júlmasa ma bәlemnin! Mahabbat dastanyn ol әielding serigi de oquy kerek dep sheshti. «Men de odan óshimdi aluym kerek. Joldasy sazayyn bersin!». Sosyn... Sosyn óz oiynan shoshynyp, divangha baryp otyrdy. «Jo-joq, ne dep kettim ózi. Hat jazysty eken dep, tym qattygha baryp qaytem?! Bәlkim, airanday úiyp otyrghan shanyraq shyghar, bireuding obalyna qalarmyn». Oilana-oylana basy qatty. Oidyng týbi – uayymgha, uayym týbi – aurugha әkeletinin ol jaqsy biledi. Bala kezinde әjesi kelinderine: «Erkekke senbe, eki bosaghana sen» dep sybyrlap otyratyn. Joghary bilimi joq demesen, ol kezding ýlkenderi danyshpan eken ghoy. Bir auyz sózben el basqaryp, tentekti sabasyna týsiretin...

Aynash jas kezin esine aldy. Kezinde búl da bireuge muza, bireuge arman aru edi... Ol ashu-yza jaylaghan denesin suyq sumen shayyp, ónin týzedi. Ayna aldyna kelip, betin әrledi, әdemi kóilegin kiyip syrtqa shyqty.

***

Boyyn kónilsizdik, qorqynysh jaylasa, Aynash Esil jaghasyn panalaydy. Erke Esil bayau jyljy aghyp, ony sabasyna týsiredi. Aynash múnyn shaghady, Esil júbatady. Aynash ense tikteydi, Esil terbetilgen kýii qol búlghap qala beredi...

- Keshir, Esil, etegim jasqa tolyp jaghana keldim.

Ol jaghagha jetken boyy ishtegi sherin aqtaryp, kóz jasyna erik berdi.

- Jýregimning jarasyn sen ghana jaza alasyn, Esil. Jazghan basym, syrymdy da, shynymdy da elge aitsam, erteng betime taba bop týsedi. Opasyzdyq jasaghan pendeni qalay jazalayyn, aitshy?

Esil aghysy birsaryndy. Tóniregi tolghan kisi. Biri qyzyqtap, biri tynystap, endi bireuleri qol ústasyp, seruendep jýr.

- Esil, jaghana kelip, kóz jasymmen móldir suyndy lastasam, aidynynda asyr salghan adamdardyng nazaryn ózime búrsam, kesh meni!

Aynash osy sózderding barlyghyn buyngha bólip әzer aitty. Óksik tyghylyp, jylaudyng az-maz aldynda túr. Osy kezde qaltasynda túrghan joldasynyng úyaly telefony bezek qaqty. Qonyrau shalyp otyrghan qaraghandylyq búlbúl eken. Ol ýnsiz tútqany kóterdi.

- Sizding shabytynyz qalagha keldi, qaydasyz? Feysbukke jazsam, jauap bermeysiz.

Jap-jas qyzdyng erkeley sóilegen ýni onyng boyyndaghy qyzghanyshyn, ashuyn oyatty.

- Alloo, allo, Siz meni saghynbapsyz ghoy, tipti sóilegeniz de kelmey túr. Jaraydy, sau bolynyz!

Erni ernine jabysyp, jaghy qarysyp qalghanday auyr kýide túrghan ol әzer til qatty.

- Allo, siz búl azamattyng otbasyly ekeninen habardarsyz ba?

Qyz kópke deyin til qatpady. Ol osy sәtti paydalanyp, ashuyn erkine jibermekshi bolghanda, symsyz baylanystyng arghy jaghynan әlsiz kýrsingen dauys estildi.

- IYә...

- Ol - mening azamatym!... Men baqytymdy ózgemen bólise almaymyn. Áriyne, sizding de baqytty bolugha haqynyz bar. Tek basqamen. Týsinesiz be?

- Qorqasyz ba?

- Men sizge eskertemin, «Tynysh jatqan jylannyng qúiryghyn baspa!»

- Keshiriniz!

- Keshirim men ýshin azdyq etedi. Siz meni bilmeysiz!

- Ol sizdi janynday jaqsy kóredi...

Aynash ne derin bilmey qaldy. Biraq ashuy tarqamay túryp, óz oiyn aityp aludy úighardy.

- Bireuding baqytyna kóz tikpey, óz jónindi bil! Sendey qyzdar qauipti!..

Qyzdyng namysyna tiyip ketti me, ary qaray tyndaghysy kelmedi me, múnyng oiyn bólip jiberdi.

- Qoryqpanyz, mening qolymnan jamandyq jasau kelmeydi. Qiyanattyng qanday auyr ekenin jaqsy bilem, sondyqtan ala jipti attaugha haqym joq! Men bar bolghany joldasynyzgha shabyt syilaghan edim, biz – qiyaldyng adamdarymyz.

- Tink-tink...

Telefon ýzilip ketti.

- Allo, Allo!

Ol úyaly telefondy qúlaghyna tosqan kýii antarylyp túryp qaldy. «Men bar bolghany joldasynyzgha shabyt syilaghan edim»... Shabyt?!..

Ol ózinen-ózi qysylyp, ózen boyyn boylay úzaq jýrdi. Álgi qyzgha qayta zvondap, mәn-jaydy tolyq bilgisi keldi. Biraq, ne súramaq, ne demek? «Meni keshir, joldasyma shabyt syilaudy úmytyp ketippin» dey me? Jiyrma jyl otasqan jan jarynyng jan dýniyesine bir sәt boylap kórip pe edi? Osynyng barlyghyna ózin kinәlay bastady. Ýy sharuasy, bala qamy, júmys baby, ata-ana jaghdayy dep jýrip, joldasyna kónil bólmepti.

Qalyng oidyng qúrsauynda kele jatqan ony ong jaq býiirden «Ayn-a-a-ash!» dep sanq etken kýieuining dauysy selt etkizdi. Ol jalt búrylghanda bir qolynda qúshaq gýli bar joldasyn kórdi. Jalghyz emes, janynda bir qyz bar. Elikting laghynday ol әdemi qyz arbagha tanylghan eken, qos ayaghy tizeden kesilgen.

- Siz renjimeniz, men sizding qanday adam ekeninizdi bilmey túryp, kónilinizdi qaldyrdym. Biz bar bolghany dospyz. Agham mening ómirge qúshtarlyghymdy oyatty, men búl kisining shygharmashylyghyna arqau boldym, - dedi kýlimsiregen boyjetken.

- Men saghan eshqashan qastyq qylghan emespin. Keshirshi! - dedi kýieui búny qúshaghyna qaray tartyp. – Sen mening Qúday qosqan qosaghymsyn! Jaratqan iyem jar qylghan, mening mәngilik mahabbatymsyn! Men bar bolghany eki ayaghynan aiyrylghan Darighagha telefon arqyly sýieu boldym. Qayyrymdylyq qorymnan aqsha bólgizip, qarjylay da demeushilik jasadym. Meni myna qaryndasymnyng ómirge degen qúshtarlyghy tolghantty, shabytyma shabyt qosty. Songhy uaqyttardaghy әlemdik bәigelerde jýldelerge qol jetkizgen, halyqtyng zor yqylasyna bólengen tuyndylarymnyng dýniyege kelui osy qalqataydyng taghdyryna degen janashyr kónilden edi. Býgin ózinmen tanystyryp, otbasymyzben qala syrtyna baryp, seruendeyik degim kelgen edi. Ýlgermey qaldym. Maghan degen kirshiksiz sezimine qylau týsirsem, jýregindi auyrtsam, keshir, janym!

Ol jylap jiberdi... Tau qozghalsa da, qozghalmaytyn sabyrly minezinen auytqyp, ashu-yza, qyzghanysh pen ókinish sezimderine aqylyn aiyrbastay jazdap, bir bәleden, úyatty isten aman qalghanyn týsingendey. Al, kýieui odan әri biyiktey týskendey.

Arbagha tanylghan qyzdy kýieui ekeui eki jaghynan demep, әrnәrseni әngime etisip, ózen jaghalap jýrip keledi. Búl ózennen kóz almay:  «Esil, sening kinәng joq» dedi ishtey sybyrlap...

Aygýl Júbanysh

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