Pushkin patsha sarayynda kamer-ynker qyzmetin atqarghanyn biletin shygharsyzdar. Búl lauazym iyesi patsha sarayynda aluan týrli saltanatty rәsimderde kisi qarasyn kóbeytip, ózine tiyesili ghana is-qimyldy jasaugha mindetti bolghan.

Qyzmeti әri qaray óspeydi. Sol ketkeni ketken. Sondyqtan ghoy Pushkinning qyzmetten ketuge ótinish berip jýrgeni. Oghan patshakeng renjipti deydi. Qysqasy, alatyn ailyghy ortasha, biylik qúrylymynda esh yqpaly joq búl qyzmetke Pushkin 34 jasynda taghayyndalypty. Yunker dep aty aityp túrghanday búl shenge negizi 20-25 jasar jas ofiyserler, turasyn aitqanda dvoryan túqymynan shyqqan sholjanbay bozbalalar shaqyrylatyn. Aydaudan oralghan Pushkindi orys patshasy osynday «jeniltek» qyzmetke layyq dep tauyp, ózi búdan bylay aqyn ólenderine senzor bolamyn dep mәlimdeydi. Peterbordaghy qyzyqty, duly-shuly ómirden alys, dostarynan jyraq, týniluge shaq qalghan Pushkin Nikolay I patsha aqyndy keshiripti, endi jeke qabyldaydy degendi estigende «baghym endi ashyldy!» dep quanghany sózsiz. Ol Reseyding órkendeu jolyna Karamzin qúsap ghúmyrymdy arnaymyn, patshagha qolymnan kelgen kómegimdi ayamaspyn, bilgenimdi aqyl-kenes retinde úsynyp otyram, shygharmashylyghym jәne qyzmetim arqyly halqymdy aghartu jolyna shaqyram, sol arqyly Otangha qaltqysyz qyzmet etem dep lapyldap, búira aidarynan jel esip Peterborgha kele jatty.

Ol Reseyde aqynnyng qoghamdaghy róli men ornyn jaqsy biletin. Biylik basyna deni dúrys adam kelipti dep jol boyy Qúdaygha shýkir aitumen boldy. Peterborgha kelisimen keudesin kernegen әlgindey tegeurindi sezimderding quatymen patsha aghzamnyng aldyna bardy. Patshanyng qabyldau bólmesine qalyqtap kirgen geniy aqynymyz jas bozbalalar kiyetin kamer-iynker formasynyng iyesi boldy da qaldy. Boldy.

Tәnirden brilliant talantty alghan Pushkiyn! Orystyng әdeby tilin bayytqan ghalamat aqyn! Orys janynyng bilgiri, tereng bilimning jәne biyik ilimning iyesi PUShKIYN! Jәne ol endigәri kamer-IYnker qyzmetinde! Qanday qorlyq hәm nendey paradoks!

Eng qyzyghy, búl qyzmetti atqaratyn adam Peterbordaghy kýnara bolatyn әr týrli jiyn-baldargha barugha tiyis bolghan. Onday jiyndargha baru/barmauynan onyng qoghamdaghy orny men dengeyi anyqtalatyn. Qanday kýlkili qoghamdyq pikir desenshi! Qanday jalghasa beretin úqsastyq! Al, onday bal-tomalaqtargha әielin ertip baru degeniniz — jatqan shyghyn. Jana kiyimder, mýshelik jarna degendey, tolyp jatqan qajetsiz aqsha shashu. Kitaby shyqpaydy, gonorar joq. Óitkeni mәrtebeli senzordyng úlyq baghasy berilmey jatyr. Aylyq pәter jaldau men ómir jalghaugha ketip jatyr. Osynday iyirimge bar jan-tәnimen kirgen aqynda ne qauqar qalady deysiz. Qaryz. Ósek-ayan. Intrigalar. Dueli. Ólim.

Abyroy bolghanda, osynday berekesiz ómir men qayghyly oqighagha deyin Pushkin naghyz shygharmashylyq kýide bolyp, ózining negizgi dýniyelerin jazyp tastaghan. Ol tarihta qaldy. Oghan senzor bolam dep ókirendegen patsha da aqynnyng arqasynda tarihta qaldy. Áytpese, eshqanday janalyghy ya reformasy joq múnday pәlen patsha kimning esinde qalady deysiz!? Ministr, gubernator, kәkir-shýkir bastyqsymaqtardy bylay qoyghanda. Patsha qaytkenmen de patsha ghoy, ol әiteuir el tarihy jazylghan kitaptyng jarty betinde oryn aluy mýmkin, al, әlgi shuyldaq sharalarda aqyngha mensinbey qarap, jelpuishpen qyp-qyzyl may betterine salqyn aua shaqyrghan kerdenbaylar she?! Aqyn jaghdayy joq, ómir sýruge әri qaray amaly da dәrmeni de qalmaghan kezde ony mýsirkep, aitqan sózine kýlip, dýniyening mәngilik biyleushisindey shәltiren-shәltireng etken bay-shonjar dvoryandar she?! Pushkin elding sózin sóilegende, «aqymaq neme, tiysh otyrmay ma, bolmasa taqpaghyn jazyp jýre bermey me!» dep sampyldaghan әlgi dvoryandar men qyzylbet baylardyng qatyndary she, olardyng on eki emes-au, bir núsqasy qaldy ma eken myna jalghanda?! Ói, kim biledi olardy qazir! Al, Pushkin tiri, óitkeni ol da Abay sekildi aqiqattyng sózin aitty. Aqiqat — mәngilik qoy. Ol ólmeydi.

Aqberen Elgezek

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