Jalpy, qogham degen kýrdeli formasiya ghoy, onyng mýshesi, adam bolyp ómir sýru qiyn. Al әiel zaty bolu, әsirese Qazaqstanda, tipti qiyn. Sondyqtan ózinning esinde ústaytyn keybir jayttar bolady.

1. Aynalandaghy adamnyng bәri - ne kiyesin, ne ishesin, qayda barasyn, kimmen aralasasyng – bәrine kiyligip, jol siltegisi kelip túrady. Biraq sen tura sol aqyl aitushylar siyaqty adamsyn, ózinning basyng bar, eshkim qaytalay almaytyn ómirlik jolyng bar. Qúday seni olardan bólek adam zaty etip jaratty ghoy, basqa bireuding aghzasyndaghy bir jasusha emessin. Óz joly bolsyn dep, ózine ghana tiyesili, derbes ómir berdi. Sana iyesisin. Óz tandauyng bar. Jәne ony qansha shuyldap, túqyrtyp, basynghysy kelse de eshkim senen tartyp ala almaydy.

2. Bala kezinnen «oqu quma, qyzdyng múraty basqada» dep qúlaghyna qúyady. Tipti kitap oqyp otyratynyndy, ne basqa qyzyghushylyghyng baryn kelemejdep, mazaq qylatyndar bolar. Biraq sen de Qúdaydyng mahabbatpen jaratqan pendesisin, sening de tabighatynnan bir nәrsege beyimin, jýreging susap izdeytin bir jaryq bolady. Qogham belgilep bergen shenberding ishinde ghana emes, odan shyghyp ta armandaugha bolady. Adam armanday almasa, nesi adam? Bireu shekarasyn belgilep berse, onyng nesi arman? Áyel zaty da adam, demek onyng da ruhy, armany, ansary bolatyny tabighy qúbylys. Sende de basqalarda bar mýmkindikting bәri bar. Áyel zatynyng aqyly kem emes, eshqashan kem bolghan emes; tek júmys isteuge, ruhynyng myqtylyghyn, aqylynyng jýiriktigin kórsetuge mýmkindigi ghana azdau bolyp keldi. Dәl qazir er men әielge birdey mýmkindikti paydalanatyn; tendik joq jerde qoghamnan, júmys oryndarynan, memleketten ony talap etuge bolatyn; óz armanyng ýshin kýresuge bolatyn uaqyt.

3. Bala kezinnen saghan súqtanyp, reti kelse qolynnan, belinnen, t.b. ústap qalugha tyrysatyn tanystar, avtobusta túrghanda әdeyi taqalyp túratyn, kóshede bylapyt sózderin aqtara salatyn beytanystar bolady. Áriyne, onyng bәri seni óltirip tastamaydy. Jaman oiyn bildirgen keybireulerge toytarys berip, keyin tipti dos bolyp ketuge bolady; myqty ekenindi týsingende olar jym bolady. Biraq onday әr әreketten, әr jaman pighyldan janyng qorlana beredi; sen eshqashan onyng seni ózinen tómen zat sanaytynyn, tiyisuge, bulling jasaugha bolady dep oilaytynyn úmytpaysyn, jadynda ústaysyn. Jәne búl salauatty qoghamnyng belgisi emes. Harassment pen bullingti toqtatu kerek, ol norma bolmau kerek. Qyz bolyp tuylghanym ýshin ghana (úl bolyp tuylghanynyng negizinde ghana) meni eshkim basyna almaydy. Birden aitayyn, «eshkim tiyispesin deseng oranyp jýr» degen eshqanday da argument emes. Oranyp jýrgen qyzdargha da talay nәrse aitylyp jýr, estip, bilip jýrmiz. Jalpy adamnyng dindi ústanuy/ústanbauy, úzyn/qysqa kiii, suretke qalay týsetini, t.b. ózining ghana sharuasy. Onday nәrselerding negizinde adamdy kemsituge, qorlaugha eshkimning qúqy joq. Demek esinde bolsyn, bireulerding meyirimsizdigi, dókirligi, ynsapsyzdyghy, syrtynnan japsyrghan stereotipteri sening kim ekenindi anyqtay almaydy; sening ózing turaly pikirindi de ózgertpeui kerek.

4. Bizding qoghamda barlyq jaghdayda qyz kinәli. Kýieuge shyqpay jýkti boldy ma, kinәli, ajyrasty ma, kinәli, bala tumady ma, kinәli. Biraq ne nәrsege kinәli ekenindi ózing ghana sheshesin. Ómir sýruding jalghyz joly basqalar aitqanday emes.

5. Qyzdyng ornyn kórsetip, túqyrtqysy kelip túratyndar kóp bolady. Búl sening qysylyp-qymtyrylyp jýruine negiz emes. Búl qayta solardyng adamgershilik dengeyinin, meyirimsizdiginin, milaryndaghy shekaralardyng kórsetkishi. Óitkeni seksizm adamgershilikke jat pa? Jat. Bulling adamgershilikke jat pa? Jat. Bireudi kemsitu, qorlau arqyly tәrbiyelep jiberipti degendi kórgen emespin, qayta janyn jaralaydy, jýregin qataytady. Sony týsine almaytyndardan qysylma, olardy qayta ayau kerek. Sening tuyng adamgershilik, sening miynda, aqylynda adam balasyn jynysyna, jasyna, nәsiline, dinine qaramay, ADAM dep tanyp, jaqsy kóru kerek, «adamzattyng bәrin sýy bauyrym dep» degen qaghida bar. Al sony ózinshe týsinetinder jýrsin solay, óz ómiri, óz týsinigi. Tek olardyng ortaghasyrlyq oilary sening ómirindi, sanandy bylghauyna, ulauyna jol berme.

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