«Eng qiyn júmys — ózinmen júmys jasau»
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«Eng qiyn júmys — ózinmen júmys jasau»,- dep jazypty Sәule klastasym. Astyna myna suretti salypty. Oiyma Abay atamnyng sózi sap ete qaldy!
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Suret Sayat Ybyraydyng paraqshasynan alyndy
Oygha týstim, tolghandym,
Óz minimdi qolgha aldym.
Minezime kóz saldym,
Tekseruge oilandym.
Ózime ózim jaqpadym,
Endi qayda syya aldym?
Qalap alghan kóp minez,
Qalaysha qylyp tyya aldym?
Boydaghy mindi sanasam,
Tau tasynan az emes.
Jýregimdi bayqasam,
IYnedeyin taza emes.
Arshyp alyp tastaugha,
Apandaghy saz emes.
Bәri boldy ózimnen,
Tәnirim salghan naza emes...
Ár qazaq jattauy kerek, sosyn balalaryna jattatu kerek búl sózdi. Bayaghyda Shәkerim medresesine alghash kelgender osy sózdi jattaudan bastaushy edi...
Al ótkende osy sózdi bizding poliytehtyng bir professoryna aityp túrsam:
— Súmdyq qoy mynau, chuti ly ne podles byl poluchaetsya?..- dep salghany. Ne aitaryndy bilmey qalady ekensin...
Qayran til, qayran sóz,
Nadangha qadirsiz,- degen osy eken...
Meninshe, Abaydyng Abaylyghy da osynda — ómir boyy ózimen ózi alysyp ótkendiginde. (Sol sebepti de ol Abaydyng qazaqtyng minin synaugha haqysy bar!). Bәlkim, ózi turaly aghynan jarylghany, bәlkim ýlgi kórsetkeni: óz minindi óstip
týgendep, jipke tizgendey ghyp sanap otyryp, ózinmen ózing óstip alys degeni.
Al qazir «ózinmen júmys jasau» degendi әrkim ózinshe týsinedi, neshe saqqa jýgirtedi, biraq «óz minindi tabu, óz minezindi týzeu» degen maghyna syighyzushy az. Olay emes pe? Óz minezimdi jóndeyin dep jýrgen adam bar ma osy kýni? Bәri basqalardy týzegisi keledi. «Osy men de dýniyeqonyz, ashkóz bop ketkem joq pa? Ósek, ótirik, maqtanshaq degen, qyzghanshaqtyq degen maghan aitylghan sóz emes pe?» dep jýrgen adam kórdiniz be? Ar-iman týgendemek, adamgershilik qasiyetterdi býtindemek bylay túrsyn. Bәri aq, «sýtten aq, sudan taza». Bәrine basqalar kinali: kórshim kinәli, ókimet kinәli, mektep kinәli, kerek bolsa әke- sheshem kinәli — tek ózi emes. Bәri ózgening minin tergish, aiybyn ashqysh...
«Qúdaygha teristikten, ne ar men úyatqa teristikten silkinip, boyyn jiyp ala almaghan..., ÓZ BOYYN ÓZI BIR TEKSERMEY KETKEN KISI әueli adam ba ózi?» (taghy Abay).
«Osy ittigimnen bir arylayynshy, osynym úyat boldy-au» dep, shyn úyalyp, әr qazaq óz boyyn synamay, adam sanatyna qosyla almas.
Ras, «Eng qiyn júmys — ózinmen júmys jasau»...
Sayat Ybyray
Abai.kz