Qazirgi qoghamymyzda ajyrasu deregining kýn sanap ósip kele jatqandyghy kónil alandatady. Elimizding bolashaghy jastardyng qolynda degen sóz kýnde aitylsa da, biraq sol jastardyng otbasyna degen jauapkershiligi azangda. Qazaq tilining sózdik qorynda kezdesetin «adal neke», «aq neke», «adal jar» degen qasiyetti úghymdardyng mәni men manyzyn jete týsinbey jýrgen sekildimiz.
Bizding býgingi maqalamyzgha arqau bolyp otyrghan kýrdeli mәselelerding biri – elimizde tek sharighat jolymen shanyraq kóteretinder tym kóbeyip ketude. Neke qidyrugha qúmar erkekterding arasynda sharighat boyynsha dep birneshe әielmen otasyp otyrghan azamattar da barshylyq. Derekterge sýiensek, keybir niyeti búzyq erkekter jauapkershilikten jaltaru ýshin әdeyi osynday nekeni tandaytyn kórinedi. Qúqyghy zanmen qorghalmaghandyqtan, múnday jaghdayda tek qyz-kelinshekter zardap shegetindigi anyq. Búl zansyz tuylghan sәbiyler men bala aldynda eshqanday jauapkershiligi joq әkeler sanyn arttyratyn jәit. Sebebi múnday nekeni búzatyndar az emes.

Qazirgi qoghamymyzda ajyrasu deregining kýn sanap ósip kele jatqandyghy kónil alandatady. Elimizding bolashaghy jastardyng qolynda degen sóz kýnde aitylsa da, biraq sol jastardyng otbasyna degen jauapkershiligi azangda. Qazaq tilining sózdik qorynda kezdesetin «adal neke», «aq neke», «adal jar» degen qasiyetti úghymdardyng mәni men manyzyn jete týsinbey jýrgen sekildimiz.
Bizding býgingi maqalamyzgha arqau bolyp otyrghan kýrdeli mәselelerding biri – elimizde tek sharighat jolymen shanyraq kóteretinder tym kóbeyip ketude. Neke qidyrugha qúmar erkekterding arasynda sharighat boyynsha dep birneshe әielmen otasyp otyrghan azamattar da barshylyq. Derekterge sýiensek, keybir niyeti búzyq erkekter jauapkershilikten jaltaru ýshin әdeyi osynday nekeni tandaytyn kórinedi. Qúqyghy zanmen qorghalmaghandyqtan, múnday jaghdayda tek qyz-kelinshekter zardap shegetindigi anyq. Búl zansyz tuylghan sәbiyler men bala aldynda eshqanday jauapkershiligi joq әkeler sanyn arttyratyn jәit. Sebebi múnday nekeni búzatyndar az emes.
Aqparat qúraldarynan kórshi elderde búl qúbylystyng ýlken mәselege ainalghanynyng kuәsimiz. Tәjikstan men Qyrghyzstanda da nekeni tek meshitte ghana qii dәstýri payda bolghan son, islam qaghidalaryna ghana sýienip ajyrasatyn júptar kóbeygen. Áyeline «talaq» dep ýsh mәrte aitu arqyly ajyrasu mýmkindigin beretin diny qaghidalardy әrkimning óz erkinshe týsinui saldarynan memleketting zandaryna qayshy keletin saldary auyr әleumettik problema tuyndaghan.
«Otan otbasynan bastalady» deydi kemenger ata-babalarymyz. Shyn mәninde әrbir otbasy – bir Otan.Otbasy – otannyng әrbir mýshesin dýniyege әkelip, qanatyn qataytyp, qatargha qosatyn kiyeli meken. Danyshpannyng da, ghalymnyng da eng alghashqy tәlim-tәrbiyesi osy mekende qalanghan. Memleketting myqty bolmaghy onyng dana basshysyna baylanysty bolghany siyaqty, otbasynyng berekesi – eri men әieline baylanysty ekeni dausyz. «Ýilenu onay, ýy bolu qiyn» desek te, otbasyn qúrghan әrbir jan ýilenerde baqytty bolam dep emes, jarymdy baqytty qylam degen maqsatpen ýilense, kóp qiyndyqtyng basy sheshiler edi. Otanymyzdyng túghyry myqty boluy ýshin otandy qúraytyn otbasy myqty boluy kerek. IYә, sol otanymyzdyng irgesi berik, shanyraghy shayqalmasyn desek, jas-júbaylar tatu-tәtti ómir sýrui qajet. Býgingi kýni sotqa ajyrasu turaly aryzben kóbine jýginetinderding 80%-payyzy jastar bolyp keledi eken. Statistika agenttigining mәlimetine sý¬yensek, 2010 jyly 41 myn, al 2011 jyly 44 myng júp ajyrassa, 2012 jyly búl kórsetkish 48 500-den asqan.
Al biylghy jyldyng alghashqy toqsanynda 46 972 júp otbasyn qúrsa, 16 647 otbasy sotqa aryz berip, aiyrylysudy jón kórgen. Jalpy, biylghy qantar-nauryz ailarynda tir¬kelgen әr 100 nekening 34-i qayta ajyra¬¬syp ketken! Búl endi ghana otau tikken jas ýsh otbasynyng bireuining shanyraghy ortasy¬na týsti degen sóz.
Ajyrasudyng negizgi sebepteri túrmystyq jaghdaydyng tómendigi, ózara týsinispeushilik t.b. Búghan halyq arasynda ózderining aram pighyldary men qúmarlyqtaryn basshylyqqa alyp otyrghan destruktivti diny aghymdardyng býlikterin qosugha bolady.
Ýilenetin er adam – ózining moynyna ýlken jauapkershilik artylghanyn tolyq sezinui kerek. Er adam – otaghasy, otbasynyng asyraushysy, әieli men balalary ýshin negizgi jauapty adam. Bala shaghasyn tamaqtandyryp, kiyindiru, baspanamen qamtamasyz etu onyng mindeti. Sondyqtan jalqaulyq, beyqamdyq siyaqty qasiyetterden barynsha arylyp, enbekqorlyq, shydamdylyq pen tózimdilikti boyyna serik qylghany abzal. Qiyamet kýni otbasynyng әrbir mýshesi ýshin de er adamnan súralady. Qasiyetti Qúranda: «Ey iman keltirgender, ózderindi jәne bala-shaghalaryndy ottan qorghandar, ol ottyng otyny adamdar men tastar» (Tahrim sýresi 6-ayat) delingen.
Otbasy qoghamnyng irgetasy ekeni beseneden belgili. Otbasylyq yntymaq pen týsinistik qanshalyqty myqty bolsa,sonshalyqty qoghamnyng ózi de myqty bolary sózsiz. Sondyqtan da Islam otbasyna kóp kónil bóledi. Islamda neke – eki jýrekting qasiyetti odaghy. Beriktik pen senimdilikting bastauy. Otbasynda sezim men senimnin, syilastyqtyng shynayylyghy mol bolghan sayyn,júbaylardyng shyrayy artyp, qanday jaghdayda bolmasyn otbasynyng quanyshy men baqyty da berik bolmaq.
Islam qúqyq terminologiyasynda «nikah» degen sózben atalatyn ýilenu, bir-birlerimen ýilenulerine qúqyqy túrghydan eshqanday kedergi bolmaghan bir erkek pen bir әielding ómir boyy birge túru ýshin aralaryn qosqan jәne bir-birlerine qúqyq pen jauapkershilikter belgilegen baylanys.
Olay bolsa ýilenu kelisimining payda boluy ýshin myna sharttar qajet etiledi:
1) Jynystary bólek eki taraptyng arasynda bolady. Yaghni, nekelesu jauapkershiligin moynyna alghan ýilenulerine eshqanday kedergi bolmaghan bir erkek pen bir әiel arasynda bolady.
2) Birge túrulary ýshin ortaq rizashylyq. Eki jaqtyng neke kelisimine shyn kónilderimen razy bolulary, ómirding ashy tәttisine әr uaqyt ortaq bolulary kerek.
3) Qaghida retinde ýzdiksiz jalghasuy. Keyinnen payda bolatyn keybir sebepterge baylanysty ajyrasu mýmkin bolsada, nekelesu kelisiminde ýzdiksizdik boluy shart.Belgili bir uaqytqa deyin nemese tәjiriybe jinau maqsatymen uaqytsha nekelesuge bolmaydy.
4) Qúqyqtyq túrghydan zandy boluy. Jogharyda atalghandardyng bar boluymen qatar kelisim, zandy túrghydan da tanylghan kelisim boluy qajet. Sondyqtan ashynalyq, kónildestik «nekelesti» dep atalmaydy. Ýilenu kelisimining eki jaqqa birdey haq-qúqyqtary bir-birlerine degen jauapkershilikteri, zandy túrghydan da nekening zandy bolyp tabylghany dúrys.
Qúran Kәrim neke kelisimin «misaqan ghaliza» eng ýlken jauapkershiligi bolghan sóz retinde sipattaghan. Jýzge tarta ayat otbasy qúqyghy mәselesine arnalghan. Múhammed payghambar nekeni ózining sýnneti retinde ornatyp: «Nekeleskenderinde ony jan-jaqqa jariyalandar, nekelerindi meshitte qidyryndar, nekeleskenderinde dabyl muzyka aspabyn qoldanyndar» degen hadiysi jay ghana kelisimdi megzemeydi, odan da joghary jauapkershilikti núsqauda.
Neke qii dinimizding negizgi әmiri bolghandyqtan, qazirgi kezdegi jastardyng meshitke baryp diny nekege túrulary qúptarlyq jayt. Biraq qanday da bir problema tuynday qalghan jaghdayda sottyng әdildigine jýgine aluymyz ýshin nemese arada bala bolghan bolsa, ony tirkeude qiyndyqtargha tap bolmas ýshin resmy nekege túruymyz qajet.
Ýilenu kelisimining materialdyq nәtiyjeleri jayly birer sóz
Mahir jәne nәpaqa dep atalatyn materialdyq jaghdaylar otaghasynyng jauapkershiliginde. Sol ýshin әiel adam, ýiding qajettilikterin qamtamasyz etuge islam qúqyqy túrghysynan mәjbýrlenbeydi.
«Erkekter әielderge qaraghanda quatty jәne jauapkershilikke mindetti. Sebebi, Allanyng olardan keybirin keybirinen ýstem etui jәne erkekterding (otbasynyng jaghadayyn jasau ýshin) dýnie mýlikterinen júmsaularyna baylanysty...»(Nisa sýresi 34-ayat) ayaty materialdyq jauapkershilikting kimge tәn ekendigin anyq kórsetude.
Erkekting ýilengen kezinde әielge bergen nemese beruge uәde etken dýniye-mýlikti nemese aqshany mahir deydi. Berilgen nәrselerding barlyghy әielding qúqy, oghan basqa bireuding ortaqtasuyna bolmaydy.
Islam qúqyqshylary dýniye-mýlik sanalatyn әr nәrsening jәne materialdyqýlesi men qúndylyghy bolghan әr tabystyng mahir bolatyndyghyn aitqan.Mahirding eng kóp qansha beriletindigi jayynda joghary shegi belgilenbeumen qatar, eng az qansha beriletindigi jayynda da týrli kózqarastar bar. Búl mólsher, ómir sýrip jatqan kezenge jәne taraptardyng ómir sýrgen sharttaryna qaray ózgerui mýmkin.
Otau kótergennen keyin otaghasynyng júbayy men bala-shaghasyn asyrau ýshin tapqan tabysyn nәpaqa deydi. Erkekting otbasyndaghy materialdyq jauapkershiligin belgilegen ayattar men hadister otaghasynyng nәpaqa jauapkershiligin jýielendirgen.Otaghasynyng júbayyna bolghan nәpaqa jauapkershiligi ayasynda, otbasynyng tamaqtanu, kiyim-keshek, túratyn meken-jay, densaulyq saqtau, dәri-dәrmekterding shyghyny jәne qajettilik tuyndaghan jaghdayda qyzmetshi ústau shyghyny da kiredi.
Negizinde mahir men qalynmal ekeui eki bólek nәrse. Qalynmal qyzdyng ózine berilmeydi. Al, mahir qyzdyng óz jeke menshigi. Onda eshkimning ýlesi nemese aqysy joq. Óitkeni otbasylyqmәseledejarasyp ketuge basqa jol mýldem tabylmaghan jaghdayda ajyrasugha rúqsat etilgen. Sol kezde әiel ghiddet kýtedi. Ghiddet degenimiz sharighat boyynsha erinen ajyrasqan әielding jýkti ne jýkti emestigi anyq bayqalghansha 4 ay 10 kýn kýtetin uaqyty. Osy aralyqtaghy әielding barlyq nәpaqasy, ajyrasqan kýieuining jauapkershiliginde bolady. Búl mezgil bitip eki jaqtyng jarasu mýmkinshiligi bolmaghan jaghdayda týpkilikti ajyrasady. Sol jaghdayda әiel zaty eshkimge alaqan jaymay mahiyrining arqasynda tirshiligin jalghastyrady. Áyelge mahirdi nekeden búryn da, keyin de beruge bolady.
Sóz sony, bayqap otyrghanmyzday, islamdaghy nekelesu kýrdeli mәsele. Alla Taghalagha rúqsat etilgen amaldardyng ishindegi eng únamsyzy – ajyrasu eken. Ony tek «talaq» dep ýsh ret aityp ajyrasa salu siyaqty oiynshyqqa ainaldyru jaqsylyqqa aparmaydy. Destruktivti diny aghymdardyng shaghyn memleket bolyp sanalatyn otbasylyq qúndylyqtardy búzuyna jol bermegenimiz jón. Qazaqstan zayyrly memleket bolghandyqtan onyng zandaryna baghynu әr azamatynyng mindeti degen oidamyz.

Kókenay Sayasat,
QR DIA «Din mәseleleri jónindegi
ghylymiy-zertteu jәne taldau ortalyghy»
Islamdy zertteu bólimining jetekshi
ghylymy qyzmetkeri
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