Qazaqta «әkening dәuleti balagha dәulet bolmaydy» degen sóz bar. Rasynda, osy sóz qanshalyqty jón sóz?! Bizding payymdauymyz boyynsha osy naqyl sózding ózin birneshe qyrynan qarap kóruge bolady. Birinshide, múnda tәrbie mәselesi jatyr. Ekinshiden, onyng úrpaqtar sabaqtastyghyna da qatysy bar. Ýshinshiden, әkening qúty ózimen ketedi degen tikeley týsinik te bayqalady. Osylardyng ishinde kóbine ýshinshi týsinik týrine qatysty bir jaqty basymdyq berip jibergen siyaqtymyz. Eger әkening qúty ózimen ketedi dep qysqa qayyryp payymdasaq ol da qate siyaqty. Sebebi, qazaqta jeti atasynan әri asyp kele jatqan dәuletti әuletter boldy. Endi olargha barlyghyna da erekshe qasiyet qondy deuge taghy kelmes. Búl jerdegi kiltipan - әke men balanyng arasyndaghy úrpaqtar sabaqtastyghy men tәrbie mәselesinde jatqan siyaqty.

Birinshi tәrbiyelik túrghysyna mәn bersek. Áke dәuletti kezinde balasyna «maghan senbe, búl dәulet saghan baylyq bola ma, bolmay ma?!» degen oidyng sarynynda bay balasyn óz sabasyna týsirip, eser bolma, esti bol degendey niyette aitylsa kerek. Búl sóz әke dәuletine senbey óz tirshiligindi ózing jasa degenge sayady.

Ekinshi týri úrpaqtar sabaqtastyghyndaghy bir kiltipannyng bar ekendigin kórsetedi. Dәuletti adamnyng balasy kóbine әke baylyghyn eselep tabumen emes, shashumen әure bolady. Jasynda qyzyq quyp dýniyening qalay keletinine mәn bermesten, qalay ketiretin joldaryn mengergen bolady. Al onyng sol kezderi qyzyqqa toly kónil kóteruge ainalasy toly dostary da az bolmaytyny anyq.

Úrpaqtar arasyndaghy buyn almasu problemasyna qatysty әdebiyette «joghalghan úrpaq» degen týsinik payda boldy. Búl týsinikting shyghuyna basty sebep: agha buyndy almastyratyn jas buynnyng ómirge degen qúshtarlyghynyng azdyghy, olardyng júmys jasaugha degen yntyzarlyghynyng tómendiginen bolsa kerek. Búl ýrdis birinshi dýnie jýzilik soghys kezinde soghysqa qatysqan jastardyng soghystan keyin júmysqa qúlyqsyzdyghy men olardyng ishkilikke salynghandyghyna baylanysty zertteulerding nәtiyjesinde osy tújyrym shyqty.

Al osyghan úqsas jaytti әleumettanushy ghalymdar jetpisinshi jyldary Amerikada bolghan jastardyng arasyndaghy әrtýrli submәdeny toptardyng qalyptasuynan kórgen edi. Atalghan jyldary AQSh-ta jastar arasynda shashyn shamadan tys ósirgen, qoghamdyq normalarda qalyptasqan kiyim kiimen jýrip túru erejelerine atýsti qaraytyn top jastar arasynda qalyptasty. Sol jastardyng basym bóligi AQSh-tyng eng baquatty toby bolyp sanalatyn zanger, bankiyr, biznesmenderding  balalary bolyp shyqqandyghy ýlken problemalyq mәselege ainaldy. Osyny әleumettanushylar zerttey kele agha buynnyng jasaghan qúndylyqtary jastargha berilmegende osynday kelensizdikterding bolatynyn dәleldedi. Sonyng nәtiyjesinde әleumettendiru degen ghylymda jana sala payda boldy.  

«Ákesi bay bolyp, balasy qúr qol qarap otyratyn bolsa, nemeresi taqyr kedey bolady» deydi eken japondar. Búl sózden bir úrpaqtyng boyyndaghy әreketsizdikt keler buyngha  ýlken soqqy bolyp tiyetindigi aiqyn bilinip túr.

Úrpaqtar arasyndaghy әkening ornyn balasy basyp, isin jalghastyrugha qatysty mәsele býgingi kýni de manyzdylyghyn joymay otyr. Fransiya, Italiya, Týrkiya siyaqty elderde iskerlik saladaghy úrpaqtardyng almasuy men sabaqtastyghy ondaghan úrpaqtar buynnan әrige ketken bolsa, bizding el siyaqty postkenestik elderde biznesmenderding qoghamda qalyptasqanyna jiyrma jyldan endi asty. Ondaghan úrpaq buyny iskerlik salada bir-birine múragerlik instituty men dәstýri әlde qayda tolyq qalyptasqan elderding ózinde problemalyq mәsele retinde qarastyrady. Al bizding el ýshin búl mәsele aldaghy onjyldyqta ótkir súraq retinde qoyyluy mýmkin. Batys elderinde atadan-balagha múra bolyp kele jatqan baylyqty iygeruge qatysty olardyng basty qalyptastyrghan isine balany bala kýninen ózi ainalysatyn isine baulyp, sol turaly barynsha kóp aqparat beredi eken. Osynday jaghdayda әkening isin bala jalghastyryp ketu yqtimaldylyghy kóbirek bolatyndyghyn aitady.

Al balalardyng әke isin jalghastyrmay qiyndyqtargha tap bolyp jatqan jaghdaylargha ghalymdar bylaysha toqtalady. Bala kýninde ata-anasy balany suret salugha, týrli an-januarlardy tanyp biluge arnalghan ýiirmeler, әn aitugha baulu, odan qaldy kóbine sport, tauda shanghy tebu siyaqty isterge kóp mәn berip soghan qatystyryp, әkesi ózining jasaytyn biznesimen balasyn mýldem tanystyrmaydy. Bala kýninen әkesining nemen ainalysatyndyghyn bilmegen bala óskende iske qyzyqpaytyn, kóbine balalyq kezdegi qiyalyna berilip suretshi nemese әnshi boludy qalap túrady. Osylay ol óskende balalyq ómirding shenberinde qalyp qon jaghdayynda bolady. Bala kýninen ómirding tek rahatyn kórip ósken bala júmys istep ter tóguge emes, kerisinshe sol rahatyn odan әri jalghastyrghysy keledi. Mine, osy kezde әke men bala arasyndaghy týsinispeushilik tuyndauyna sebep bolady.

Adamnyng aqyl-oyy jetilmey artta qalyp qaluyn ghylymda infantilizm deydi. Infantilizm - latyn tilinen audarghanda «balalyq» degen sóz. Jogharyda aityp ótkendey balalyq qiyaldyng shenberinde qalyp qonyna qatysty aitylady. Búnday adamdar fizikalyq túrghydan sau, on eki mýshesi aman-esen bolyp keledi. Tek aqyly túrghydan sol búrynghy balalyqtyng qyzyghynan shyqqysy kelmeytindigine qatysty. Tek ómirden balalyq dәuren uaqyttaghyday lәzzat ala bersem, uayymsyz-qamsyz, boyyma jauapkershilik almasam degen oida ómir sýredi. Nemis sosiology, psiholog Karl Gustaf Yung búl «balalyq» auru turasynda: «infant adamdar jas bala siyaqty ózining de, ózgening de jaghdayyn tereng týsinuge qabiletsiz bolady. Olargha eng bastysy - óz qyzyghushylyqtary men qajettilikterin qanaghattandyru bolyp tabylady» deydi.

Búl mәselege nemisting әigili biznes-treneri Bodo Shefer óz zertteulerinde bylay toqtalypty. Bay otbasylardyng múragha qalghan baylyghynyng 70%-y eki úrpaqtan keyin tolyqtay dәuletin joghaltady eken. Múnyng mәnisi ata-analary múra qaldyrghanda aqshamen birge, ózderining boylaryndaghy qasiyetterdi jәne bilimdi úrpaghynyng boyyna sindire almaghannan oryn alady. Tek 30% bay adamdar ózderining múragerlerine mol dәuletpen birge, ony tabu men dúrys basqarudyng úrpaqtaryna ýiretip ketuinen әke dәuletine bala ie bolyp qalady degen oidy bildiredi (Bodo Shefer. Puti k finansovoy nezavisimostiy).

Sondyqtan mamandar egerde ata-anasy óz isterin balasy jalghastyrghanyn qalaghan bolsa, ainalysatyn isterine qatysty kóbirek aqparattandyryp onyng ómir arnasyn sol kezden búrghany dúrys deydi. Bala kýninde bolsyn, er jete bastaghan shaghynda bolsyn, aqsha bergende ol aqshanyng qaydan kelgenin dúrystap týsindire otyrghan oryndy. Balasy er jete bastaghannan bastap әkesi oghan kóbirek biznesine qatysty keybir isterding shet jaghasyna aralastyryp manyzdy degen jauapkershilikti talap etetin nәrselerdi bere bastap, dayyndaghany dúrys deydi. Jasynan әke isimen tanysyp óse kele onyng qyr-syryn tez iygerip alugha tolyqtay mýmkindikti iyelenedi.

Endi ózimizding qazaq qoghamyna oralayyq. Jogharydaghy mәtelding negizgi syry osy úrpaqtar arasyndaghy problemalyq mәselege qatysty aitylghandyghynda dep payymdaugha bolady. Qazaqta «on ýshte - otau iyesi» degen sózdi osy jasta bala óz isine jauap bere alatyn aqyly tolysatyndyghyna qatysty aitylsa kerek. Sebebi, qazaqtyng keybir biylerining osynday bala kýninde auyzy dualy aqsaqaldary sheshimin tappaghan mәselelerge tóreligin aityp el esinde, tarih betterinde qalghan túlghalar jetip artylady. Qúnanbay Abaydy Semeyden on eki jasynda alghyzyp sol kezde tobyqty ruynyng biylerining jiynyna qatystyrghanynda ýlken mәn jatyr. Qúnanbaydyng úly Abay Alty Alashty auzyna qaratqan túlgha boldy. Sol Qúnanbay әuleti tobyqtynyng biyligin qolynan jýz elu jyl shygharmay biylegen qarakókting túqymy retinde barshagha ayan. Mine, osy әuletting syrynyng biri osynda jatyr. Balany jas demey artynan izin basatyn túlgha retinde tәrbiyeleuding bir kilti. Aytylghan oilardy saralay kele balany on eki, on ýsh jasynan ózining ainalysatyn biznes týrine aralastyrugha bolady dep tolyqtay aita alamyz. Basynda ainalysatyn isining negizgi mazmúnymen tanystyrudan bastap, oghan sol salagha degen baghyt-baghdardy mektepti bitirer kezinde nemese diplom alar kezinde emes, es kirgennen baghyt bere bergen jón dep aita alamyz.

«Ákening dәuleti balagha dәulet bolmaydy», «әkening maly balagha mal bolmaydy» degenge qayta oralar bolsaq, bylay: bizding ózimizding arghy tarihymyzda da jeti atasynyng baq pen dәuleti basynan taymay kele jatqan әuletter qazaqta kóp bolghan, jiyrma segizinshi jylghy kәmpeskege deyin kelgen. Onda әke baylyghy balagha baylyq bolady. «Qarakókting úrpaghy» degen qazaqy úghymda jeti atasynan beri baylyq pen biylikti uystarynda ústaghan tekti әuletterge qatysty aitylatyn úghym. Býgingi tanda biylikting  úrpaqtan-úrpaqqa berilui, yaghny әkeden balagha beriluding maghynasy ózgerip, onyng qoghamda, osy ghasyrymyzda jaghymsyz jaghy kóbirek sipat aluda. Biraq qoghamda iskerlik salada osylay beriludi dúrys nәrse retinde baghalanady. Biznesmenderding arasynda osynday irgeli әuletter payda bolyp jatsa, bir kezdegi Maman baydyng әuletindey halyqqa paydaly bolyp jatsa, oghan el tek quanady. Kezinde "karakókting túqymy" degen siyaqty aldaghy kezende uaqyt ótuimen bizde de qaytadan sonday irgeli әuletter qalyptasuy mýmkin.

Dese de, әkesining qúty ózimen ketetine qatysty derekter men soghan úqsas erteden kele jatqan әngimeler barshylyq, ony da tolyqtay joqqa shygharugha bolmaydy. Biraq múny ýlken masshtab túrghysynan alyp qaraugha kelmeydi. Halqymyzda «әke kórgen oq janar, sheshe kórgen ton pisher» dep úrpaqtar sabaqtastyghyna qatysty aitylghan naqyl bar.

Biznesin úrpaghyna múragha qaldyrghysy keletin otandyq isker azamattar ýshinde búl súraq óte manyzdy bolyp sanalady. Sondyqtan biz osynday kezde ótken tarihymyzda keybir bayqamay kele jatqan Qúnanbay men Abay mysaly siyaqty mәselelerge mәn bersek, keybir kýrdeli súraqtargha jauap ala alamyz. Batys elderinde bolsyn, kórshi Reseyde de qazirgi tanda «balalar - bizneste» degen týrli jobalar bolyp jatyr. Múnday jobalardyng basty maqsaty jogharyda aitylghan problemalardy sheshudi kózdegen bolsa, ekinshiden bala kýninen biznes pen iskerlik salanyng qyr-syryna teoriyalyq túrghydan bilim beru arqyly balanyng iskerlik tanymdyq sanany qalyptastyrudy kózdeude. Endi osylardy bizge engizsek qanshalyqty dúrys bolady degenge kelsek. Bizding payymdauymyzsha Batys elderinen jalang kóshirme retinde engizsek paydasynan góri ziyany kóp boluy mýmkin. Sondyqtan, últtyq mentaliytet túrghysynan da qarastyra otyryp, balalargha arnalghan әdistemelik negizdemesin jasaghan oryndy siyaqty. Ol ýshin aldymen qazaq qoghamyndaghy iskerlik-tanymdyq-tarihy sanany barynsha ashyp qarastyryp alsaq, әdistemeni jasau qiyngha soqpaghan bolar edi.

«Ákeden mal qalghansha, tal qalsyn» degen әkesining dәuletine ie bola almay qalyp, aiyrylyp qalghan kisige jәne әkeden múra qalmaghan jangha júbatu ýshin aitylghanday. Dýniyelik iygilikten de joghary qazaqy gumandyqtylyqtyng biri tabighatpen jaqyndastyq túrghysynan aitylghan siyaqty kórinedi. Áriyne, adam artynan kóp aghash egip, bir balasy ýshin emes, barsha adamzat ýshin iygi is jasap ketkeni de qazirgi ekologiyalyq mәseleler órshigen uaqytta ózektiligin joymaytyn nәrse. Islamdaghy din ghalymdary da aqyret bolyp jatsa da aghash eguding abzaldyghyn aityp ketken ósiyetke toly sózderi barshylyq.

Jogharydaghy ataly sózge maghynalas, sinonimdes myna bir sóz de bar. «Atannan bota qalghansha, bata qalsyn. Bota - bir júttyq. Bata - myng kýndik» deydi. Atalghan sózding mәnine ýnile qarar bolsaq, Djorj S.Kleysonning «Ejelgi Babyldaghy eng bay adam» kitabynda bas keyipker Babyldyng (Vavilon)  ataqty bayy balasyn kәsip etu ýshin basqa qalagha jiberedi. Balasyna keruen toly baylyq pen ózining aqyl-kenesi bar ósiyetin birge beredi. Ataqty baydyng balasy әr kәsipting basyn shalyp jýrip bar baylyqtan aiyrylyp qalady. Sol kezde әkesining qolyna bergen ósiyetti oqugha kirisedi. Onda aqshany qalay júmsauy, aqshany tabu joldarymen qosa saqtau, kóbeytu turaly aqyl-kenesteri aitylghan eken. Sony basshylyqqa alyp, enbek etip kóp uaqyt ótpesten bayyp shygha keledi. Keyin Babylgha kelgende әkesine basynan ótken jayttyng baryn aityp bayan etedi. Biz qarastyryp otyrghan taqyrypta osyghan maghynalas. Al jogharydaghy maqalymyz kitaptaghy oimen bir jerden shyqqanday. Atadan qúr qalghan mal daulet bolsa, onda ol qúryp ketu mýmkindigi joghary. Al, atadan botadan góri batany abzal sanauyna kelsek. Bata degen últtyq tanymyzda bir jaghynan dúgha retinde ýlken ruhany ýstin retinde bayqalsa, kelesi qyrynan balagha aitylghan ósiyet, aqyl-kenes, amanat retinde qarastyrylady. Atadan qalghan dәuletti úrpaghy iyelenip odan әri sol dәuletin eselu ýshin de «әke kórgen - oq janar» degendey әkening boyyndaghy qabiletti óz boyyna sinire bilu kerektigin bildiredi.

Ruslan Ahmaghanbetov

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