El ýshin kishkentay bolsa da dәl qazir ne istey alar edim? Oiymnyng jelisinen janylyp qalmau ýshin qaghaz betin shimaylaugha kiristim.

Aldymda taqyryby ghana jazylghan aq paraq. El iygiligi ýshin óz qolymnan keler amal qaysy? Bylaysha qaraghanda, kóp nәrse jazugha bolatyn sekildi. Alayda, súraqtyng mәnine, oghan jazylar jauaptyng aldaghy kýni kópshilik arasynda talqygha salynuy mýmkin ekendigine, sol amaldy óz tarapynnan basqalargha úsynys sekildi aitaryna oy jibergende, jauabyng jalan, negizsiz bolatynday kórinip, ne jazaryndy bilmey, túiyqqa tireledi ekensin. Meni túiyqqa tiregen nәrse ne ekendigi týsinikti boluy ýshin myna bir oqighany oqyrmannyng esine týsireyin.

Birde Ábu Hanifagha bir qúl kelip, qojayynym estise, «basyma bostandyq berip qalar» degen niyetpen ghalymnan kelesi júma uaghyzynda qúlgha azattyq beruding qanday sauapty is ekendigi turaly aituyn ótinedi. Ghalym qúptaghan synay bildirgenimen, kelesi júmada da, odan keyingi júma uaghyzynda da qúlgha azattyq beru turaly taqyrypty qozghamaydy. Tek ýshinshi júmada ghana Ábu Hanifa qúl bosatudyng artyqshylyghy, Alla tarapynan beriletin syiy jayly sóz qozghap, jamaghatty osy sauapty iske amal jasaugha shaqyrady. Júma namazy ayaqtalyp, el ayaghy sayabyrsyghan son, әlgi qúl ghalymgha kelip, búl uaghyzdy nege eki júmagha keshiktirgenin súraydy. Sonda danyshpan ghúlamanyng qúlgha qaytarghan jauaby meni qatty tebirentti. "IYә, men sening ótinishindi eki júmagha keshiktirdim, - dedi ghalym, - Sen jamaghatqa ait degen amaldy ózim istemegen edim. Al, ózim atqarmaghan amaldy jamaghatqa istender dep qalay ghana ýgittemekpin?! Sondyqtan, eki apta boyy qarajat jinaqtap, sol aqshagha bir qúl azat ettim. Amaldy iske asyrghan song ghana ony basqalargha ýgittedim"...

Basqa eshtene kirer emes. Mýmkin, oy salar degen niyetpen ghalamtordy aqtardym. Oqyghandarym kónilime qona qoymady. Sol kýni taqyryby ghana jazylghan aq paraqqa túshymdy eshtene jazylmady.

Ertenine auruhanada jatqan әkeme «ota jasau ýshin qan tapsyru kerek» degen son, joldastarymmen birge Qan tapsyru ortalyghyna bardyq. Kelushiler kóp emes. Onda qan tapsyrylady eken de, kez kelgen auruhana qangha múqtaj nauqasyna kerekti qandy sol ortalyq bazasynan ala beredi eken.

Qan tapsyryp bolghan son, tynystap otyrghanymyzda, qasymdaghy joldasym qan tapsyrugha tirkelip jatqan jandargha qarap, qan tapsyru isin menzep, «mine, izgi amal» degeni... Bir kýn búryn meni túiyqqa tiregen taqyryp basyma sap ete týsti. Minekey, amal jasaldy, endi ony basqa jandargha jetkizuding sәti endi týsti.

Alla Taghala, Qúranda aitylghanday, adamdy bir tamshy úiyghan qannan jaratty. Yaghni, adamnyng bastapqy negizi qan boldy. Adam aghzasyndaghy qannyng rólin kólik qozghaltqyshyndaghy maymen salystyrugha bolady. Eger, qozghaltqyshtaghy may qajetti mólsherden az bolsa nemese tipten bolmasa, búl aqau der kezinde joyylmasa, júmys istep túrghan qozghaltqysh mehanizmi óz-ózin jep, mýldem isten shyghady. Al, eger, qajetti mólsherden tym kóp bolsa, qarqynmen júmys istep túrghan mehanizm artyq maydy qualap, qozghaltqyshtyng osal bir jiginen syrtqa aidap shygharady da, búl sәtte de qozghaltqyshqa kem degende auyr núqsan keledi. Qan da dәl sol sekildi. Az bolsa da aghzagha ziyan keltirip, shamadan tys kóp bolsa da, qysymynyng jogharylauyna sebep bolyp, sony qazagha alyp kelui mýmkin. Al, adam ómiri isten shyqsa, auystyrugha bolatyn kólik qozghaltqyshy emes, jaryghy sónse, qayta qalpyna keltiru mýmkin bolmaytyn dýniye. Mine, qarapayym tilmen aitqandaghy qannyng aghzamyz ýshin manyzy osynday.

Ota jasalghan nemese ashyq týrde auyr jaraqat alghan jan qan joghaltatyny aitpasa da týsinikti. Qandy jasandy jolmen qolmen jasap alyp, nauqasqa qúi mýmkin emes. Osy jerde basqa adamnan qan alyp, sony paydalanu qajettiligi tuyndaydy. Nauqas ómirining basqa jandardyng qayyrymdy, izgi amalyna tәueldiligi payda bolady. Sol izgi amalgha sәbiyin qiyndyqpen bosanghan ananyn, nauqas bolyp tuylghan sәbiydin, kólik apatyna úshyraghan jolaushynyn, janyn jegidey jegen keselinen aiyqqysy kelip, ota jasatqan nauqastyng ghúmyry tәueldi bolady. Al, diny túrghydan alghanda shekten shyqpay, adam ómirine arashashy bolugha tyrysudan artyq qanday izgi amal bolsyn?! Sizding izgi niyetpen tapsyrghan azghana qanynyz bir nemese birneshe jan ómirining odan әri jalghasyn tabuyna sebep boluy mýmkin ekendigin oilaudyng ózi kónilindi shattyqqa bóleydi eken.

Búryndary qan tapsyru isine jetkilikti týrde mәn bermey kelgen ekenmin. Búdan bylay qajet bolghan jaghdayda, mýmkindigim bolyp túrsa, búl izgi amalgha bey-jay qaramaugha óz-ózime uәde berdim. Oqyrmandy da asa sauapty isten syrt qalmaugha shaqyramyn. Bauyrlarynyng sózin jerge tastamay, әkemizding densaulyghy ýshin qan tapsyrugha kelgen, qan tapsyrudy niyet etken, qan tapsyrugha belgili sebeptermen mýmkindigi joq bolghandyqtan, jyly lebizin bildirip, ruhany jәrdem bergen jandargha jәne osy izgi amalgha oy jiberuge sebep bolghan bauyryma Alla razy bolghay!

P.S. Osy joldar jazylghannan keyin arada birneshe jyldar ótti. Álgi oqighadan keyin tap sol mekemege alty ret qan tapsyrdym, tek jetinshi ret qan tapsyrugha kelgenimde dәriger 2009 jyly basyma eki ret ota jasalghanyn bilip, qan tapsyrudan shektep qoydy.

Arman Sary

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