«Esh kinәm bolmasa nege otyruym kerek?»
Dostar, maghan qatysty bolyp jatqan dýniyelerge shýbә kelitirip jatqandar da bar ekenin bayqap otyrmyn. Yaky búl birinshi ret bolyp jatqan nәrse emes, qútylyp shyghady degen jәne ózge de kózqarastar. Jauap bereyin.
Birinshiden, men qútylyp shyghudy qalamaymyn da, qútylyp shyqpaymyn da. Men kóbisi oilap otyrghanday, kelisimge keluge nemese qútylyp ketuge jýgirip qúlshynyp otyrghanym joq, men tek qana organdardyng maghan qatysty әreketterining bәrinen júrtshylyqty habardar etip otyrmyn. Adam kelisimge kelip, kez kelgen isting izin suytqysy kelse, kerisinshe, tynysh otyrady. Osyny aitpay-aq týsinbeysiz be? Kez kelgen jemqorlyq tynyshtyqty jaqsy kóredi, al men oghan qarsymyn, sondyqtan, men jariyalylyq pen ashyqtyqty ústanamyn.
Ekinshiden, men joramal qauip turaly emes, qúqyq qorghau organdarynyng is jýzindegi aiqyn, tapsyryspen jasap otyrghan әreketteri turaly jazyp otyrmyn. Men qarapayym tergeu men tapsyryspen bolatyn bopsalaudyng arajigin jaqsy týsinemin jәne bilemin.
Ýshinshiden, meni negizsiz qorghaudy súrap otyrghanym joq. Men tek qana tergeu shekten shyqpasa deymin, tergeu barynsha ashyq bolghanyn, sot (eger soghan deyin barsa) ashyq jәne jariyaly týrde bolghanyn qalaymyn.
Tórtinshiden, men júrtshylyqqa jýginip otyrghan sebebim – men eshqanday da zangha qayshy әreketter jasamadym, aqiqat pen morali mening jaghymda. Men nege ýndemey otyruym kerek?
Besinshiden, dәl osy júrtshylyq meni shekten shyghushylyq pen zansyzdyqtan birneshe ret aman alyp qaldy. Arqa sýier basqa kimim bar?
Altynshydan, men týrmede otyrghym kelmeydi, esh kinәm bolmasa nege otyruym kerek. Sondyqtan, meni aldyn ala oilastyrylghan sebeppen jauapqa tartyp, týrmege otyrghyzuy mýmkin qauip tóngen kezde men búl turaly әrdayym jazyp otyramyn.
Jәne jetinshiden, qúrmetti mening jamandyq oilaushylarym men eshnәrsege senbeushilerim, sizder men ýshin kýresetin bolsanyz, men ýshin emes, elde shekten shyghushylyq bolmauy ýshin, ertengi kýn sizding de biznesinizdi tura osylay basynbau ýshin kýresesiz. Men biznesimdi birneshe ret joghaltqanmyn, qajet bolsa, taghy da joghaltugha dayynmyn, biraq, men qoghamymyz jaqsara týsui ýshin qolymnan kelgenin jasaugha tyrysamyn. Eger siz olay jasaghynyz kelmese, meni oqymanyz, óz әleminizde ómir sýre beriniz.
P.S. Mýmkin siz jyldar boyy qúryp, jinaqtaghan dýniyenizdi eshqashan joghaltyp kórmegen bolarsyz. Sózime seniniz, jyldap jasaghan enbeginizdi joghaltu óte óte auyr jәne ol kónil qynjyltady. Sondyqtan, óziniz syngha úshyramas ýshin ózgeni synamanyz.
Marghúlan Seysembaydyng әleumettik jelidegi jazbasy
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