«Jigit joq, esesine, migit qansha, kilt joq, ashylmaghan qúlyp qansha». Búl - túrmys qúrmaghan qyzdardyng býgingi uәji. Al er balalar «kólik alayyn, ýy túrghyzayyn, adam bolayyn, otbasyn qúru alysqa qashpaydy» degen syltaumen shanyraq kóterip, otaghasy atanugha asyqpaydy. Baghzy zamanda «On ýshte otau iyesi» dep, er balalardy erterek ýilendirgen ata-babamyz. Áytse de zaman ózgerdi, zang ózgerdi. Býgingi jas «ýilenu onay, ýy bolu qiyn» degen jeleudi algha tartyp, otbasyn qúrugha әste asyghar emes.

«Jigit joq, esesine, migit qansha, kilt joq, ashylmaghan qúlyp qansha». Búl - túrmys qúrmaghan qyzdardyng býgingi uәji. Al er balalar «kólik alayyn, ýy túrghyzayyn, adam bolayyn, otbasyn qúru alysqa qashpaydy» degen syltaumen shanyraq kóterip, otaghasy atanugha asyqpaydy. Baghzy zamanda «On ýshte otau iyesi» dep, er balalardy erterek ýilendirgen ata-babamyz. Áytse de zaman ózgerdi, zang ózgerdi. Býgingi jas «ýilenu onay, ýy bolu qiyn» degen jeleudi algha tartyp, otbasyn qúrugha әste asyghar emes.

Adamzattyng basty mindeti - otbasyn qúryp, úrpaq órbitu. Asylynda adamnyng basty qúndylyghy da osy bolsa kerek. Tal besikten jer besikke deyin artynan iz qaldyryp, úrpaghyna ónegeli, óreli tәrbie beruge asyghady adamzat. Áytse de dәl osy qúndylyghymyz kýni býgin manyzdylyghyn joyghan siyaqty. Shanyraq kóterip, otbasyly atanyp, ana, әkening jauapkershiligin moynyna alghysy kelmeytin jastar kóbeydi. Batystan soqqan suyq jel siyaqty týrli «moda» sanamyzdy ulap barady. Azamattyq nekege túryp, kónil qoshy qalamasa, әp-sәtte qosh aitysugha dayyn jastardyng qarasy da az emes. Onyng ýstine qyzdar mansaptyng izine týsse, er-azamattarymyz ýlken jýkti moynyna artqysy joq. Baz bir jastar ýshin «Otbasy» atty ýlken institut kәdimgidey «qamytqa» ainaldy.

Ázimbay Ghali, demograf-sayasattanushy: Árkim ózi ýshin otbasyn qúrady

- Ázimbay agha, qazaq jastary neshe jas­tan bastap nekege otyryp, otbasyn qúrady?
- Qazaq halqynda 27-28 jasta ýilenu kó­birek kezdesedi. Bolashaqta búl jas úl­ghaya týsui mýmkin. 2000 jyldary qala jastary ýilenuge den qoya bastaghan. Qazir kerisinshe búl ýrdis siyrey týsti. Negizinen, ortasha eseppen 32 jasqa deyin otbasyn qúru ayaqtalady. Kóbine jas otbasylar bir-eki bala tabumen shekteledi. Ortasha eseppen alghanda, janúyalarda 2,7 bala dýniyege keledi.
- Jaqynda deputat Núrtay Sabiliyanov «jastargha 22 jastan otbasyn qúrudy nasihattau kerek» degen úsynys bildirdi. Búghan qalay qaraysyz?
- Ókinishke qaray, búl mýmkin emes jaghday. Qazir, tipti músylman elderinde kesh ýilenu mәselesi ushyghyp túr. Birte-birte biz de osy ýrdiske qosylatyn bolamyz. Bir otbasynda 2,2 baladan tuylatyn kezeng kele jatyr. Týptep kelgende, әkening ornyn bala baspaytyn jaghdaygha jetuimiz de mýmkin. Búl ýrdis 20 jyldan keyin bastau alady.
- Bizding elimizde jigitter men qyzdardyng araqatynasy qanday? Qyz jetispey me, әlde er-azamat jetispey me?
- 30-40 jyldary asharshylyq ke­zeninde әielder kóptep qaytys bolghan. Sol zamatta әielder jetispeushiligi anyq bayqalghan. Odan keyingi jyldary er adamdardyng jetispeushiligi anyq bayqala bastady. Al qazir 28-29 jasqa deyin bizde qyz jetispeydi. Onan keyingi jasta er-azamattarymyz jetispeydi. Er adamdardyng biraz bóligi temir torgha toghytylyp otyr. Negizinen iri qalalarda qyzdar basym bolsa, óndiristik qalalarda, auylda er-azamattarymyz basym.
-Qazir jastar otbasyn qúrugha qú­lyqsyz. Ásirese, qyz balalardyng arasynda erteden nekege túrmay, kәri qyz atanatyndar da bar...
- Men bir kitabymda bir qyzgha kem degende jeti jigit kelip, niyetin tanytady dep jazghanym bar. Biraq qyzdar ymmen aitqandy týsinbeydi nemese mensinbey qaraydy. Sodan kelip, kәri qyz atanady. Tipti ong jaqta otyryp qaldy degen qyzdyng ózine kem degende 5 jigit kelip, niyet tanytady. Jigitter astarmen jetkizedi, al qyzdar múnday emeurindi týsinbeydi eken. Sonan song «jigit joq» dep otyryp alady.
- Otbasy qúndylyqtaryn nasihattau bizding elimizde dәl qazir qanshalyqty manyzdy? Jalpy, jastar arasynda múnday nasihatty qalay jýrgizuge bolady?
- Meninshe, meshit tarapynan biraz ústanymdar men pәtualardy jasau kerek siyaqty. Birinshiden, jynystyq qatynas mindetti týrde bala tuudy maqsat tútu kerek. Ekinshiden, jasandy týsikke ýzildi-kesildi tyiym salynuy tiyis. Mәselen, katolik dini múnday qadamgha qarsylyq tanytsa, músylman dininde búghan tolyqqandy tyiym salynbaghan. Sonan son, jastardyng kóbisi «ýilen, ýilen deysin, maghan ýy alyp ber» degendi algha tartatyn bolypty. Múnday oy bolmauy tiyis. Adam eng aldymen ózi ýshin otbasyn qúryp, úrpaq órbitedi.
- Jastardyng kóbisi «әleumettik jaghdayymyz nashar» degen jeleudi algha tartady...
- Jastar әleumettik jaghdayyn algha tartqanmen, jynystyq qatynasqa erteden týsip, múnday ómirin jalghastyra týsedi ghoy. Mәselening týp-tórkini osy bolsa kerek. Múnday qadamgha tyiym salynbaghandyqtan, jastar ýilenudi, ýy boludy keyinge qaldyryp, jauap­kershilikten jaltarady. Meninshe, nekesiz bala tuudy maqsat tútpaytyn jynystyq qatynasqa músylman dinining tarapynan tyiym salynuy tiyis.

Cerik BEYSENBAEV, әleumettanushy: Baspana mәselesi ushyghyp túr
Auyldyq jerlerde, oblystyq den­geyde jastar erteden otbasyn qúrady. Al qalalyq jastar kóbine búl mәselede qúlyqsyz. Almatyny me­ken etken jastardyng otbasyn qúrugha yntalanbauynyng basty sebebi - túrghyn ýy mәselesi bolsa kerek. Osydan bir jyl búryn halyq arasynda zertteu jýrgizdik. Zertteuding nәtiyjesi kórsetkendey, sú­ralghandardyng 50 payyzy túrghyn ýiin auystyrugha niyet bildirse, búl kórsetkish jastar arasynda 70 payyzdy kórsetken. Bayqasaq 24-35
jas aralyghyndaghy jastar baspanagha zәru.
Al mәselening ekinshi sebebi - batystyq standart men batystyq mәdeniyetting әser etuinen otbasyn qúru josparlary birshama ózgergen. Qazir qyzdar otbasyn qúryp, bala tuyp, ýide otyrudy emes, ózin-ózi jetildirudi maqsat tútady. Onyng ýstine qoghamdaghy dәstýrler de jana zamangha say ózgeriske úshyrady.
Al ýshinshiden, әleumettik mәse­lelerding ontayly sheshim tappauy - jastardyng otbasyn qúruyna qolbaylau bolyp otyr. Jasyratyny joq, elimizde jastardyng basym bóligi júmyssyz jýr. Biraq ýilenem degen jas eshnәrsege qaramay ýilener edi. Búl jerde әleumettik faktordan góri, mәdeny faktordyng yqpaly basymdau siyaqty. Óitkeni ózimiz baqylap jýrgendey, ýilenem degen jasty ata-anasy nesie alyp, onay ýilendiredi.
Batystyq mәdeniyetting salda­rynan otbasy qúndylyq retinde qarastyrylmaytyn boldy. Jalpy, meninshe auyl jastary qaladaghy qatarlastarynan góri ýilenuge kóbirek ynta bildiredi.

Oksana Aleksandrqyzy, Almaty qalalyq «Adam reproduksiyasy» ortalyghynyng psihology: Jastar arasynda beyqamdyq basym
Jastardyng otbasyn qúrugha qúlyqsyz boluy tek bizding elimizde ghana emes, әlemde keninen beleng alyp keledi. Qazir adamdardyng oi-sanasy, maqsattary men mindetteri ózgeriske úshyraghan. Sonyng saldarynan qyzdardyng túrmysqa shyghuy men er-azamattardyng ýilenu jasy úlghaya týsti. Búl, eng aldymen, bilim alu merzimining úlghangynan. Álem boyynsha bilim beru 8 jyl, 10 jyl, 11 jyl boldy, qazir tipti 12 jyldyqqa kóshirilu mәselesi de talqylanuda. Al key damyghan memleketterde balalar mektepke erte baryp, kesh tamamdaydy. Taghy bir sebep - qoghamnyng beyqam ómir sýrui. Búryn adamdar jastayynan enbekke aralasatyn, sodan bolar, jauapkershilikti sezinu de basym boldy. Al qazir jastar «ata saqaly auzyna týskenshe» bilim quady. Sondyqtan eresek ómirge óte kesh ayaq basady. Tipti qartayghansha ata-ananyng qolyna qaraytyn jastar da bar.
Mәselening taghy bir qyry, jastar arasynda әleumettik fobiyalar, yaghny ýrey kóp. Ókinishke qaray, jastardyng arasynda eresek ómirden, jauapkershilikten jal­taru basym bolyp túr әzirge. Onyng ýstine beyqamdyq ta joq emes.
Mening esebimshe, er-azamattar 30 jastan keyin otbasyn qúrsa, qyzdar 25 jastan asqan sәtte túrmysqa shyghu qajettiligin sezinedi. Medisinanyng qarqyndy damuy 30-35 jastaghy kelinshekterge bala tabugha mol mýmkindik beredi. Áytkenmen, tabighattyng qatal zanyn alday almasymyz anyq. Deni sau balany dýniyege әkelu ýshin jastayynan oilanghan jón. Qyz balalar fiziologiyalyq túrghyda 18 jasta, al әleumettik túrghyda 20 jastan asqanda qúrsaq kótergeni dúrys.

Marat ÁMIRÚLY, Almaty oblystyq «Qarasay batyr» meshitining naib imamy: Ýilenuge asyghu kerek
Payghambarymyz (s.gh.s): «Ýilenu - mening sýnnetim, kimde-kim mening sýnnetimnen bas tartsa bizden emes» degen. Hazireti payghambarymyz (s.gh.s) osy hadiysimen óz ýmmetterin, yaghny mú­sylmandardy ýilenuge ýndegen. Ókinishke qaray, qazirgi uaqytta jas jigit-qyz­dardyng ýilenuge asyqpaytyndyghyn, ata-analardyng úldaryn ýilendiruge, qyzdaryn úzatugha asyqpaytyndyghyn bayqap jýrmiz. Búl da batys elderine asa qatty eliktep bara jatqandyghymyzdyng dәleli. Al músylmandardyng ýlgi tútar ústazy payghambarymyz (s.gh.s): «Ýileninder, kóbeyinder, qiyamet kýni senderding kóptikterinmen quanamyn» degen.
Jigitterding sýr boydaq nemese ayauly әpkelerimizding otyryp qaluyna mynaday sebepterding әseri bolyp jatqandyghyn bayqaymyz. Birinshiden, jastardyng arasynda «óz jaghdayymyzdy jasap, mansabymyzdy jónge salyp alayyq» degen kózqarasta bolularymen uaqyttyng ótip ketui. Ekinshiden, jigitterding ýilenuge jaghdayy bolmauy. Jasyratyny joq, qazir qyz balalar auqatty, әleumettik jaghdayy joghary er-azamattargha kónil audarady. «Onyng kóligi, joghary bilimi, baspanasy boluy kerek» degen kózqarastaghy qyz­dar barshylyq. Elimizding key aimaqtaryn­da aghasy ýilenbey, inisin ýilendirmeui, sol siyaqty әpkesi túrmys qúrmaghan bolsa, sinlilerin úzatpaydy degen týsinik te qalyptasqan. Al keyde ata-analar balalaryna «men seni oqyttym, endi al­ghan biliminmen júmys jasauyng kerek, kýieuge shyqsan, júmys jayyna qala­dy» dep, qyzdardyng jolyn baylaytyny taghy bar. Osynyng bәri týptep kelgende jas ji­gitter men qyz balalardyng otbasyn qú­­rugha qúlyqsyzdyq tanytuyna sebepker bola­tyny ayan. Dana halqymyz «On ýshte otau
iyesi» degen, meninshe, jas jigitter 22-23 jas­ta, al qyz balalar 18-22 jasta otbasyn
qúrsa, abzal bolar edi. Hazireti paygham­barymyz (s.gh.s.): «Ólini jerleuge, boyjetken qyzdy úzatugha asyghynyzdar» degen. Son­dyqtan da qarakóz qyzdarymyzdyng tenin tauyp, úzatugha asyghuymyz qajet-aq.
Qazir azamattyq neke degen qauipti nәrse shyqty. Jauapkershilikti sezinbey, kónil qosu - adamzatqa tәn qasiyet emes. Eki adam qosylghan son, mindetti týrde úrpaq órbitu mәselesin algha qony shart. Nekesiz tuylghan balanyng bolashaghy da búlynghyr bolady. Qyzy nekesiz bala tusa, úly sergeldenning kýiin keship jýrse, múnyng bәrine ata-ana ýn-týnsiz, beyqam qaraytyn dәrejege jettik. Qazaq qashanda, «Úlymdy úyagha, qyzymdy qiyagha qondyram» degen sózdi berik ústanghan. Biraq býgingi zamanda úly men qyzy aq nekening zәmzәm suyn tatpay, óz erkimen bir-birine kónildes bola salady. Múnyng arty jaqsylyqqa aparmaytyny belgili. Sol sebepti jastarymyz oilanyp, otbasy mәselesine atýsti qaramasa iygi bolar edi deysin.

Aytylghan sóz:
Mәjilis deputaty Núrtay Sabiliyanov: «Kóptegen jastar 30 jasynda da otbasy turaly oilanbaydy. Sondyqtan 22 jastan bastap otbasyn qúru qajettiligin nasihattauymyz kerek. Qazaqstanda adam kapitaly jetispeydi. Qazirgi jas otbasylarda 2-3 baladan ghana tuylady. Bizding úlan-baytaq jerimizge kim múragerlik etedi? Otanymyzdy kim qorghaydy? Bala sanyn 4-5-ke deyin kóbeytu ýshin jaghday jasau kerek, eger biz jastardy júmyspen qamtysaq, jaqsy jalaqy bersek, qalghan júmyspen qamtu mәselesi sheshimin tabady».

Aytylghan sóz
«Qazaq jastary búrysh jaghalap, ýy jaldap, qanghyp jýr. Ýii joq bolghan son, bala tuu mәselesin de keyinge shegeredi. Búl demografiya mәselesine keri әserin tiygizude». Mәjilis deputaty Gýlnar Yqsanova «Jastar sayasaty turaly» zang jobasyn talqylau barysynda Belorussiyada 2011 jyly demografiyalyq qauipsizdik jónindegi baghdarlama qabyldaghanyn algha tartty. «Sonyng ayasynda Ýkimet jas otbasylardyng 2-balasy tuylghanda, ýy iyelenu ýshin alghan nesiyesining 25 payyzyn, 3-bala tughanda, 50 payyzyn óteytin, al 4-perzentti dýniyege әkelgende, memleket bәrin óz moynyna alatynyn algha tarta, bizge osy mәseleni solay sheshuge ne kedergi?» dedi Yqsanova hanym.

Sóile, statistika!
- Elimizde jasy 25-ten joghary boydaqtar sany - 3 million.
- 14-ten 29 jasqa deyingiler 4 million 616 myng adamdy qúraydy. Onyng ishinde 2 million 337 myny - er-balalar, 2 million 279 myny - qyzdar.
- Nәzik jandylardyng 28,2 payyzy, er-azamattardyng 39,6 payyzy - boydaq.
- Ortasha eseppen qyz balalar 24 jasynda túrmys qúrsa,
er-azamattar 27-28 jasynda ýilenedi.
- Bas demograf Maqash Tәtimovting mәlimetteri boyynsha, elimizde 500 mynnan astam sýrboydaq hәm kәri qyz bar.
- Derekterge sýiensek, 21-29 jas aralyghyndaghy jastardyn, yaky jas otbasylardyng 85 payyzy ýi-kýisiz jýr.

J A S T A R N E D E Y D I ?
Damir Beysenov:
Jasym 25-te. Qazirgi boyjetkender ruhany qúndylyqtan góri, pendaui, materialdyq qúndylyqty joghary qoyady. «Maghan ýilenu ýshin ýiin, kóligin, jaqsy júmysyng bolu kerek» degen talap qoyatyndar da bar. Múnday qylyghy ýshin qyzdardy da jazghyrugha bolmas. Árkim-aq jaqsy ómir sýruge talpynady ghoy. Búl talapqa say bolu ýshin kem degende 20 jyl joghary jalaqysy bar qyzmette júmys isteuing kerek.

Nazerke Smaghúl:
24 jastamyn. Osy uaqytqa deyin bizge «aldymen bilim al, sosyn júmys iste, eshqayda asyqpaghanyng abzal» dep tәrbie bergen. Oqydym, qolymda diplomym bar. Shynymdy aitsam, qazir azamattarymyz ózderine senimsiz, ertengi kýnine kýmәnmen qaraydy. Senimsiz adamnyng qolynan ústap, bolashaqqa qadam basu» tipten qiyn. Sondyqtan «ertengi kýnim ne bolady, osy kýnime zar bolyp qalmaymyn ba?» degen ýrey basym.

T ý y i n:
Osydan birer jyl búryn Maqash Tәtimov jasy 25-ten asqan qyzdargha, 30-dan asqan jigitterge «boydaq salyghyn» mindetteu kerektigin kóldeneng tartqan. Áytkenmen, bas demograftyng úsynysy ayaqsyz qaldy. Álbette, salt jýrgeni ýshin eshkim qaltasynan aqsha shygharghysy kelmeydi. Búl úsynystyng ayaqsyz qaluynyng sebebi de osy bolsa kerek.
Qalay desek te, jastardyng otbasyn qúrugha qúlyqsyz boluynyng sebebi de, saldary da kóp-aq. Asylynda, otbasyn qúru mәselesi - әrkimning jeke sharuasy. Áytkenmen, qoghamnyng damuy jekelegen adamnyng damuynan bastau alatynyn eskersek, jastardy erteden otbasyn qúrugha tәrbiyeleu kerek siyaqty.
Qay zamannyng da óz qiyndyghy, óz qyzyghy bar. Áke-sheshemiz qylyshynan qan tamghan Kenes Odaghynyng kezinde, ata-әjelerimiz alash balasy jappay qyrylghan asharshylyq túsynda da otbasyn qúryp, ýrim-bútaghyn jetildirgen. Al bizding «dayyn asqa tik qasyq» bolyp, memleketten kómek kýtip, alaqan jayyp otyrghan jayymyz bar. Ásilinde, jastardyng shanyraq kóterip, otbasyn qúrugha asyqpauy - әleumettik mәselelerding saldary emes, jastyq egoizmning әseri bolsa kerek. Búl, әriyne, tek bizding jeke payymymyz. Al jastar «bas ekeu bolmay, mal ekeu bolmaytynyn» úghynsa eken deymiz...

Áygerim BAQYTQYZY

"Ayqyn" gazeti