Bir sәt qoldan jasap alghan biyigimizden jerge týsip, bәrimizding janymyzgha jaqynyraq әngime aitugha tyrysyp kóreyikshi. Áytpese, «әr kәllada bir gәptin» kerin keltirip, myng san pende ózining ansary men armanyn sogha beretin uaqyt shirkinge tap bolghanymyz jasyryn emes qoy. Bet-betimizge bezireye bersek, myna tútas qazaqiyanyng qamyn kim oilaydy?

Qúddy sol bayaghy anshynyng әngimesindegidey. Ekeui ottyng jalynyna qaqtalyp otyryp, anshylyqtyng jayyn sóilep, aqyr ayaghynda birining shoynandap jýretin qyzy, ekinshisining syltyp basatyn úly bar ekenin aityp múndasushy edi ghoy. Esinizde shyghar, sol sapardaghy eki әkening uәdesi boyynsha ymyrtta, qarasha ýiding irgesinde kezdesken әli eki múnlyq - bir ayaghyn syltyp basatyn qyz ben bala kýninde attan qúlap, tizesi býguge kelmey qaqiyp qalghan úlyn qosyp tynbaushy ma edi?

Álqissa, sodan onashalanyp, qyr asyp bara jatqan qyz jigitke jambasynyng aqauyn bildirmeyin dep әr shoynandaghan sayyn «Oy, shúqyr. Oi, shúqyr...» dep qilymsy qisandasa, izinen sýmendep kele jatqan ýmitti, ol da iylikpeytin, qara aghashtay qaqiyp qalghan tizesining kemistigin bildirgisi kelmey, ayaqty qayyryp, bylghap úryp, «Shúqyryndy attap ótemin. Shúqyryndy attap ótemin..» dep ónmendeytinge úqsaydy.

Myna biz ómir sýrip jatqan býgingi qoghamnyng siqy da tap sol uaqighadan ainymaydy. IYә, bizge mýldem adam únamaytyn bolghan. Tipti keyde bir sәt ózine de únamsyz tip retinde kýmәnmen qaraytynyna shýbәm joq. Olay deymiz, bylay deymiz, әiteuir retin tauyp aqyr ayaghynda kim-kimdi de osyrghan siyrday qylyp, tu-talaqayyn shygharyp tynamyz. Sonda bizge osy, әsirese el tútqasyna ie bolatyn basshy retinde kim kerek, bizding ansar neni, kimdi qalaydy?

Adam balasynyng tabighaty qyzyq әri mýldem týsiniksiz. Júmyr jerding betinde, naqty uaqyt ólshemimen ómir sýrip jatyp, qiyalynda, tu sana týkpirindegi kóne qatparlardy tiriltip alyp, sonyng әserli jeteginde jýre beretinin kópasa ózi de andamay qalady. Qay nәrseni de ghylym ayasynda qarastyrugha qalyp alghan qasqa bolghandyqtan, mәselening sol jaghyn kýittenkirep ketetinimiz jasyryn emes.

Býgin mening oiyma myna bir jayt týsti. Batys Afrikanyng bayyrghy salt-sanasynan myzghymastay oryn tepken, sóz ónerin erekshe oryngha qoyghan qazaq siyaqty, anshylyq kәsipti pir tútqan Bambara kosmogoniyasynda Simbon degen erekshe túlgha bar. Aytpaqshy, búlardyng anyz-әpsanada saqtalghan kóne týsinigin tarqata bastasan, bizding auyldyng әngimesin aityp otyrghanday әserge bólenesin.

Qosh sonymen, olardyng dýniyetanymynda Adam - Qúday - Tabighat degen ýshtik jýiening dәnekeri Simbon - kemel adam, jartylay adam, jartylay ang tekti jaratylys, magiyalyq kýshterding jinaqtaushy (akkumulyator), shygharushy (generator) hәm taratushysy (rasporyadiyteli). Ómir men ólim arasynda túratyn, ýnemi óz basyn qauyp-qaterge tigumen jýretin jartylay tiri, jartylay óli qúbylys. Bir boyyna qúdaylyq, adamdyq hәm ayangha tәn jiyntyq qasiyetterdi sidyra otyryp, qogham men adamgha qatar qyzmet jasap, olardy qorghap, asyrap, kópting qoldauy men qúrmetine ie bola alatyn túlgha.

Tap qazirgi uaqytta bizding aramyzda osynday túlghalar bar ma? Áriyne bar, bolghanda qanday! Shyn izdeseng tabasyn, ekining biri sonday - adam balasynyng boyynda adamdyq, qúdaylyq hәm ayangha tәn sipattar túnyp túr. Tiptti, sol erek qasiyetterdi jeke-dara úlyqtap, terisine simay ýpinip, kýpinip, isinip, keuip jýrgender qanshama? Biraq siz oilaghanday, kýni-týni qaqsap, saghygyp, izdey beretin aq qanatty perishte joq, ondaylar eshqashan bolmaghan eken, týisik aldamasa, endi bolmaydy da.

Olay bolsa, sening de qúr saghymgha aldanbay-aq qoyghanyng dúrys shyghar, bauyrym. Siz benen bizge Jaratushy ghúmyr bergenmen ómir sýrudi ýiretken joq. Qashan bastalghany belgisiz myna aspan astynyng jazylmaghan zany solay eken. Álemdi qansha kezseng de Simbon sipattydan artyq eshkimdi tappaysyn. Mening «habarshym» solay deydi.

Berik Jýsipov

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