Qazaqtyng dәstýrli qoghamynyng negizgi arqauynyng biri – boy saqtau mәdeniyeti bolghanyn qazirgi adamgha týsindiru óte qiyn. Býgingi kýni búl úghymdy qashyqtyq, araqashyqtyq t.b. sózder almastyrady, yaghny europalyq distansiya (distance) sózining tikeley balamalary. Boy saqtau sózimen birge onyng qoghamnyng ishki tirshiligin rettep otyratyn fundamentalidi qyzmeti de úmytyldy.

Qazaqtyng boy saqtau mәdeniyetining konseptualdy irgetasyn jaqsy men jaman turaly maqaldar qúraydy. Biz tómende V.K.Fon Gern jinaqtaghan qazaq auyz әdebiyetining ýlgilerin keltireyik:

Jaman kisi maqtansa,

Jaqsyny jaghasynan aldym der,

Jaqsy kisi maqtansa,

Jamannan jata berip qaldym der.

V.K.Fon Gern maqaldy bylaysha audarghan eken:

(Esli) durnoy chelovek pohvalitsya,

(On) skajet, (chto) vzyal horoshego cheloveka (za grudi) za shivorot, (esli) horoshiy chelovek pohvalitsya, (on) skajet, (chto) ostalsya v storone ot durnogo (cheloveka). Maghynasyn bylaysha týsindiredi:

«Etoy posloviysey vyrajaetsya kazahskaya harakteristika horoshego y durnogo cheloveka, prichem, v usta durnogo cheloveka vkladyvaetsya vyrajenie derzkogo neuvajeniya k horoshemu (pochetnomu) cheloveku, sostoyashego v pohvalibe nanesennym emu tyajkim oskorbleniyem: vzyatiyem ego za niz vorotnika halata, pod borodoy (jaghasynan). Horoshiy, blagovospitannyy chelovek po kazahskim obychayam doljen storonitisya durnyh ludey, sposobnyh na nedostoynye postupki. Slovamy «Jata berip qaldym», t.e. «Ostavil v storone» - izobrajaetsya prezrenie y kak by boyazni samogo prikosnoveniya k durnomu, kak k zaraze».

Búl jerde songhy joldaryna qatysty tәpsirge kónil audaru kerek, «jamannan jata berip qaldym» – jamandy jeksúryn kóru, odan júqpaly aurudan saqtanghanday saqtanu, yaghny boy saqtau kerek.  Nege?

Sebebi, «Jaqsynyng jaqsy biler symbatyn, jamandar qaydan bilsin asyly menen qymbatyn?!» - deydi qazaq maqaly. «Jaqsyny joldasynan tany»,- deydi qazaq maqaly. Eger jamandy tanymasan, onyng kesapaty tiyer әr jerde, al jaqsynyng sharapaty tiyer tar jerde. Jaqsymenen jýrseng – jetersing múratqa, jamanmenen jýrseng – qalarsyng úyatqa.

Mine, búl sóz órnekteri boy saqtau mәdeniyetin qalyptastyratyn tirek. Jaqsy degen kim, jaman degen kim ? Búl turaly biz ózimizding «Jaqsy men jaman» turaly etudterimizde kóp jazdyq. Adam balasyn biz shartty týrde ýshke bólemiz. Birinshisi – danalar. Olar ózgening qatelikterinen sabaq alady, sol sebepti ómirde basyn tau-tasqa soqpaydy, qatelikti az jasaydy. Danalyq adamgha ózgeden ýirenu jәne sodan qorytyndy jasau barysynda keledi. Ekinshi top – ózderining qatelikterin sarapqa salyp, sol arqyly jaqsy men jamandy aiyrady. Búlardyng ishinen ózin jene alatyn jaqsylar shyghady. Ýshinshi top – ózining qateligin sarapqa salmaghandar, tirshilikten sabaq almaghandar, sol sebepti biz olardy jaman qataryna qosamyz.

Bizding atalaramyz jaqsy men jaman turaly әlem halyqtarynyng ishinde eng kóp asyl sóz qaldyrghan. Qazaq dәstýri Euraziya qúrlyghynda myndaghan jyldar erkin ómir sýrgen dala rysarlarynyng erejelerinen túrady. Ol erejelerding ishinde azdap jaqsy, nemese azdap jaman degen bolmaydy, ne jaqsy, ne jaman. Qazaq әdebiyeti «Ayaz bi» ertegisinen bastap shópting jamanyn, qústyng jamanyn, adamnyng jamanyn izdeydi. Búl ertegi Ortalyq Aziya halyqtarynyng eng kóne zamanda «Jaqsy degen ne, jaman degen ne ?» - degen súraqtargha bergen jauaby. Búl jas adam ýshin óte manyzdy súraqtar. Osy súraqtardy taldau barysynda onyng basynda jaqsy men jamandy aiyratyn tarazy qalyptasady, ar, úyat, namys atty saqshylary oyanady.

Jaqsy men jamannyng ortasyndaghy saqshy qyzmetin atqaratyn - ar, úyat, namys siyaqty azamattyq qasiyetterimiz bar, biraq aumaly-tókpeli zamanda halyq jaman men jaqsy úghymdaryn shatastyryp aldy. Jaqsy degenimiz – júmys orny men eline bedeldi, jetim men jesirge qayyrymdy, imany men bilimi jeterlik kisi. Qazaqtyng jaqsysy óte joghary adamy qasiyetterding iyesi, ol eli ýshin ot pen sugha týsetin kýresker azamat. Osy qasiyetteri arqyly ol adam balasynyng barlyghyna da syily. Jaman degenimiz – óz kýnin ózi kóre almaytyn, sonymen birge óz basynan aspaytyn, qoghamgha paydasynan ziyany kóp adamdar. Baylyq pen kedeylik búl jerde shart emes, ómirding aldamshy qyzyghynan, qyzmet, ótirik ataq, kópirme sózden, shygha almasang ol da jamandyghyn.

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Jaqsy men jaman turaly týsinikter óz kezeginde qazaqtyng dәstýrli qoghamynda, onyng kýndelikti túrmysynda myqty oryn alghan boy saqtau mәdeniyetin qalyptastyrady. Qazaq qoghamynda balanyng ómirge kelui, óskeni, erjetkeni erekshe quanysh ekeni belgili. Ár balanyng tәrbiyesine óz әke-sheshesimen birge ata-әjesi, ata, balasy (patronimiya) ishindegi býkil tuystary qatysady. Qazaq balany betinen qaqpay ósiredi, ýiding tóresi deydi jәne odan boy saqtau erejeleri talap etilmeydi. Biraq jana tughan shaqalaq besikten bastap 13-te otau iyesi bolghangha deyin, әke-sheshesi, ata-әjesi, jaqyn tuysy besik jyrynan bastap jaqsy ne, jaman ne degendi qúlaghyna qúya beredi.

Bala ósken sayyn oghan otbasy, qauym tarapynan beriletin erkindik azayyp, shekteu kóbeye bastaydy. Boy saqtau mәdeniyetin ústanu erjetuden bastalady. Búl kezende әr bozbala men boyjetken ózin әr týrli ortalarda ústau tәrtibin iyegeredi, sóileu mәdeniyetin qalyptastyrady, sonymen birge ýlkendermen jәne kishilermen qarym-qatynas erejelerin, er azamat degen kim, әiel kim, naghashy-jiyen arasy, alys-jaqyn tuystar, rulastar men kórshi rular, el degenimiz ne, qogham degenimiz ne, degen mәselelerdi jattaydy. Qazaq etikasynda adam qabaghy erekshe oryn alatyny belgili, yaghny qabaqqa qarau, odan adamnyng kónil kýiin, minezin aiyra bilu, soghan baylanysty óz jauabyn beru, nemese boy saqtau – búl qazaqy tәrbiyening negizgi irgetasy. Osy kezennen bastap bozbala men boyjetken ýlkendermen qosylyp qazaq ómirinde óte manyzdy oryn alatyn saltanattargha (seremoniyalargha) aralasa bastaydy.

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Osylaysha boy saqtau mәdeniyetin әr kelin ózining aq otauymen, otbasyna qajetti jabdyghymen birge alyp keledi. Qazaq halqynda qalyng mal institutynyng arqasynda әr jas otbasynyng alghashqy kýnnen bastap ózining shanyraghy bolatynyn eskeru kerek. Búl neni kórsetedi ? Búl әr kelin er azamatynyng júrtyna kelgen alghashqy qadamynan bastap ata-enesimen, erining tuys-tughanymen belgili qashyqtyqty, yaghny boy saqtaudy (distansiyany) ústaytynyn kórsetedi.

Kýieu bala da ózining qayyn júrtyna qatysty óz kezeginde mindetti boy saqtau erejelerin ústanady. Eger ol óz auylynda erkin jýrse, qayyn júrtynda mýmkindigi kelgenshe joghary etika erejelerin ústanady. Mәselen, kýieu balanyng óz atasyna tikeley ótinish aitugha haqy joq, ol óz ótinishterin tek baldyzdary arqyly ghana aitugha mýmkindigi bar (Abaydyng qayyn júrty Alshynbay auylynda ózine únaghan jorgha atty baldyzdary arqyly súraghanyn eske týsiriniz t.b.).

Qazaq qoghamynda kez kelgen qarym-qatynas, qimyldyng belgili bir saltanaty bar. Mysaly, kelin kóp uaqytqa deyin ýlken qara shanyraqtyng ortasyndaghy oshaqtan joghary shyqpaydy. Eger ata-enesining jasy kelip, kelin olardy kýtui kerek bolsa, ata-enesi kórshi-qolandy shaqyryp, shaghyn toy ótkizip, enesi kelindi qolynan ústap oshaqty ainaldyrady, osydan bastap kelinning joghary jaqqa ótu haqy payda bolady.

Otbasylyq boy saqtau mәdeniyetining jaqsy qúraldarynyng biri – kelinderding sәlem salu (reverence) dәstýri. Ár tanda kelin ózgelerden erterek túryp, ýlken qara shanyraqtyng týndigin ashady da, ata-enesine sәlem salady. Olar ýiip-tógip batasyn beredi. Biraq mәsele búl jerde batada ghana emes, kelin osy sәlem salu arqyly әrkimning óz orny baryn, kýndelikti boy saqtaudyng kerek ekenin eske týsiredi. Qazaq kelinderining sәlem salu tәrtibi býgingi kýni Europa koroliderining otbasylarynda ghana saqtalghan.

Tórkindeu – әr kelinshekting óz tórkinimen qarym-qatynasyn retteytin myqty tetikterding biri. Alghashqy tórkindeu tek túnghysh bala tughannan keyin ghana iske asatynyn eske týsiru kerek. Búl eki tarapqa da ýlken materialdyq salmaq, sebebi, qyz óz tórkinine qymbat (keyde ózining qolynan shyqqan) syilyqtar alyp kelse, tórkin jaghynan jiyenge dep kemi bir qora mal (mysaly: bir ýiir jylqy) jinap alyp ketedi. Tórkindeu ghajap jәne shyghyndy saltanat bolghany ýshin әiel adam óz tórkinimen qarym-qatynasyn shekteydi, yaghny búl jerde de boy saqtau mәselesin aitugha bolady.

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Qonaq kýtu, qonaqjaylyq – qazaqqa etene tәn úghymdar. Bir qaraghanda qazaq, qonaq degende ishken asyn jerge qoyady, qonaqtan basqa uayymy joq dep oilaugha bolady. Búl qate pikir, sebebi qonaqqa qatysty da boy saqtau institutynyng kórinisterin bayqaymyz. Onyng birinshi sharty – әr auyl, әr auqatty otbasy qonaqqa dep arnayy ýy tigedi (qonaq ýi). Qonaqtyng ýy iyelerimen, bala-shaghamen aralasa tamaq ishui, tórde jata ketui tek kedeyshilik kóbeygende ghana mýmkin.

Asta, qonaqta er adamdar men әielderding jeke otyruy da qazaqtyng boy saqtau mәdeniyetining kórinisi. Ádette er azamat sharua jayyn aitady, qogham mәselesin talqygha salady, qatyndardyng taqyryptarynyng bólek bolatyny zandy.

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Úzaq jyldargha sozylghan qyryp-jon, orystyq negizde sovettik qayta qúrular kesirinen biz boy saqtau mәdeniyetin qazir joghaltyp aldyq.

HH ghasyrda 70 jyl boyy eldi qúldar biylep keldi. Qúldar ózderining plebs (plebeian) mәdeniyetin ornatty. Qúldargha boy saqtaudyng keregi ne ?! Totalitarlyq jýie kedeylik psihologiyany dәriptedi, er azamattardan holuy (lackey) jasady. Qazaq qoghamy ózining dәstýrli rysarlyq negizinen alshaqtady, dәstýrdi ústanghan biren-saran otbasylar ghana qaldy. Marginaldyqty ornyqtyru ýshin Sovet biyligi әiel faktoryna stavka jasady jәne ol óz nәtiyjesin berdi. Jayynauyz qatyndar kóbeydi. Er men әiel arasynda boy saqtaudyng joghaluy býkil qoghamgha teris әser etti. Atasy men kelinining araq toly staqan soghystyruy, bir ýige tyghylghan ene men kelinning soghystaryna úlasty. Qatyndargha Europa siyaqty jol beruge bolady, biraq ol ýshin ekonomikada, qoghamda, sayasatta negizgi instituttar men ony iske asyru tetikteri europasha jasaluy kerek. Europa erkekteri birneshe ghasyr kýrespen, talas-tartyspen әbden shyndaghan instituttar men tetikterding pulitine әiel emes, maymyldy qoysang da júmys istey beredi.

Sovetten qútylghan uaqytta kedeylik psihologiya úry-qaryny basshylyqqa alyp keldi. Nәtiyjesinde aty qazaq, zaty qúbyjyq dýnie payda boldy. Jasynan boy saqtau mәdeniyetine ýirenbegen song eresek adamdar arasynda «Bir eli auyzgha – eki eli qaqpaq» degen taghylym úmytyldy, «Erli-zayyptynyng ortasyna esi ketken kiredi» degen otbasyn saqtau qaghidaty úmytyldy.

Búl aitylghan әngimening bәri bizding agha buyn atalatyn sovet kezinde tәrbie alghan úrpaqqa qatysty. Jas úrpaq bolashaqta boy saqtau mәdeniyetin qayta janghyrtady dep senemin. Qogham qaytken kýnde de jóndeledi, qazaqtyng auhaty artady, jaghdayy jóndelgen el ózining qúldyq zamanda joghaltyp alghan tamasha dәstýrlerine, ústanymdaryna qaytyp keledi. Býgingi kýni bizge halyq

«Dәstýrimiz qayda?»-degende, «Mine, dәstýrlerin!»-deytin jaqsy etnograftar kerek.

Boy saqtau nege kerek ? Onyng keregi: Ár qogham belgili bir qúrylym, ol qúrylym ishindegi tolyp jatqan ekonomikalyq, әleumettik, sayasy t.b. toptar bar. Búl toptardyng әrbireui myqty bolsa, sonda qogham da myqty bolmaq. Osy toptardyng tirshiligin ýilestiretin neshe týrli qoghamdyq qúraldar bar. Túrmystyq jaghdayda bizding tirshiligimiz erkek pen әiel, ata-ana men bala, ata-ene men kelin, qonaq pen ýy iyesi t.b. qarym-qatynastarynan qúralady. Búlardy rettep túratyn negizgi tetik boy saqtau instituty. Eger túrmystyq qarym-qatynas rettelmegen bolsa onda jogharyda atalghan ekonomikalyq, әleumettik, sayasy t.b. qúrylymgha teris әser etedi, yaghny memleket sharuasy aqsaydy, daghdarady.

Jambyl Artyqbaev 

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