(Esse)

Qolfony bezektep onyng týski úiqysyn búzdy. Telefonnyng arjaghynda aryq qyzdyng synsyghan dausy óleusirey estildi.

- Sәlemetsiz?

- Sәlemetpiz.

- Men Týrkistandaghy qazaq-týrik uniyversiytetining oqytushysymyn. Sizdi memlekettik emtihangha komisiya tóraghasy bolugha shaqyrsaq dep edik.

- Emtihan uaqyty mening júmys kesteme sәikes kelse barayyn.

- Sizge resmy shaqyru hatyn jiberemiz.

Oghan shaqyru haty keldi, búl hat boyynsha tóragha bolyp baru ýshin kafedra mengerushisi, dekan, prorektor, rektorgha qol qoydyryp Týrkistangha jetkenshe bir kýndik memlekettik emtihan uaqyty ótip keter, qazir bylayghy emtihandar bitip, múghalimderding arqasynyng teri azdap kepken shaq, úshaqqa ózi biylet aldy. Úshatyn arystangha minip kókte qalyqtap kelip jerge top etip týse qaldy. Qasiyetti mekenning núry jerden kókke kóteriledi, әlde qashan Allanyng rahmetine qauyshqan әuliyening sharapaty ainalasynda jatqan han-súltan (ólilerdi) qoyyp jer basyp jýrgen tirilergede jetip túrghany anyq. Eski Yaassy shahary býginde qazaqtyng ruhany astanasy. Til jetpes tynyshtyqqa shomghan Týrkistan dalasyn tek tynymsyz sary jel búzady.

«Sizdi әue jaydan kýtip alamyz, qonaq ýige ornalastyramyz» degen kelte hat Almatydan shyqpay jatyp onyng uatsabyna synghyrlap kelip týsken. Izinshe «esh әure bolmanyzdar, maghan eshtene qajet emes» dep jauap jazdy. Ol qalay bolady eken, ynghaysyz bolar degen jazulardy taghy oqydy...jauapsyz qaldyrdy....

Áue jaydan baldyzy kýtip aldy. Kólikke otyrghannan Iasin sýresin bastap ishinen oqydy, Qoja Ahmet Yaassauy ata kesesining manyna kelip temir túlpardy qantaryp, jayaulap qorghangha inisimen bir Fatiqa, on bir Yqylas oqyp әuelde basymyzdyng tәji, kózimizding núry, eki dýnie sardary, adamzattyng asyly, kýlli jaratylystyng ardaqtysy Payghambarymyz (s.a.u) mýbarak ruhyna, әhlibәitterine, ashabyna, altyn shynjyrdaghy baqytty jandargha, Qoja Ahmet Yaassauy atamyzdyng ústazy Arystan babqa, osyndaghy Qúl Qoja Ahmet Yaassauy atagha, әhlibәiitine,  21 han, 8 súltan, 51 әuliye, 4 abyz, 23 bi, 63 batyr, 5 qoja hanym, 5 datqa, 30 iygi jaqsylardyng ruhyna baghyshtap el-men jerding amandyghyn, músylman balasynyng auyz birshiligin, qazaq úlysynyng yntymaghyn, mәpelep baghyp ósirgen әke-sheshe amandyghyn, ayalap otyrghan úl-qyzdarynyng tek jaqsylyghyn kórudi tilep úzaq-úzaq dúgha jasady. Osynda jatqan salih qúldarynnyng qúrmetine dúghamdy qabyl et dep Alladan súrap, uasila jasady.

Kesenedegilerding kóbi tek úiqyda jatyr, zirat etushilerding ayaghy esh ýzilmeydi, Allanyng nyghmetine shomghandardy mazalamayyn dep boz dalanyng sary jeli búl manda soghuyn toqtatqan. Myzghymas tynyshtyq, jangha jayly energiya onyng óne boyyn biylep, it tirlikten alystatty, san-sapalaq dýniauy oilarynan sap tiylyp rahat kýy keshti. Alyp kesene san tarihty ishine býgip qazaq elining ruhany tiregi ekenin әigilep túr.

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Qayyn júrtyna at basyn tiredi, qayyn apasy qúdasy kelgendey qonaq bólmesine mol dastarhan dayyndapty, qaraday qysyldy, "kýieuding orny qashanda samauyrdyng ainalasy, elding ayaq jaghynda otyryp shyny alu" dep biletin ol múnday qoshemetti ishtey qabylday almay qatty ynghaysyzdandy. Jana kýieu bolyp osy shanyraqty alghash attaghanda qayyn atasy ayaq jaqta otyrghan búghan «tórge shyq, sen bizding jalghyz kýieu balasyn» degen. Desede jalghyz ózine dәl mynaday ýlken dastarhan men artyq yltipaty biraz ynghaysyzdandy. Baldyzy men kelini ayaghy-ayaghyna tiymey ashana ýide dayyndalghan san týrli ystyq taghamdardy, tauday et, kóldey sorpany aldyna әkeldi. Tamaqtan song búlar jana Týrkistandy kóruge shyqty, adam jaqsy kórgen adamyna ózi jaqsy kóretin nәrsesin kórsetkenshe asyghatyn әdetimen kóligin zulatyp keledi. Áziret súltan kesenesinen ótip salynghan emes, qúddy aspannan ózi týse qalghanday yghy-jyghy, in tiresken suday jana alyp ghimarattardyng aldyna kelip toqtay qaldy.

Ádemi ailanba jasandy kól, betinde qayyq jýzip jýr, san týrli biznes baghytyndaghy sauda keshenderining jaltyldaghan shyraqtary kóz jauyn alady, danghaza muzika, ayaqtyng astyndaghy kishkene qara tastardyng ishinde qysylyp syrtqa shyqqysy kelgen әiel әnshiler synsidy. Qalanyng qara saqaldyry men jas óskinderi úzaq jyldyq shyghystyq jәne aziyalyq qarapayymdylyq pen qaramaqqa juas kórinetin tasauftyq júmsaq minezden mezi bolghanday, basqalargha eliktep, solarsha kiyinip jýris–túrystaryn ózgerte, bir birine shadyranday sóilep, ardyn-kýrding kýy keshedi.Ár kim óz aldyna óz oiymen tóbe bolyp eshkimdi eshkim tyndamaydy, әne eki qyz jagha jyrtysty....bәlkim ashy su úrttaghan bolar.... Shylym shekken juan qúrsaq jigitter esh myz baqpay aspandata kýlip jaqyn túr... Búrynda búndaghy әielderding kóbisi jaulyqtarymen bastaryn tolyq býrkemesede, jarym-jartylay shashtaryn jasyratyn qazir múnda ol buyn kórinbeydi. Qaranghy týnning ózinde búl mangha esh maza bermeytin daraqy әuen elding ruhany tempramentin búzghanday, qol sozym jerde qoja Ahmet Yaassauy ata kesenesi beymaza kýy keship mazasyzdanady.

Áruaq ýsh týrli: Eshteneni bilmeytin tas qaranghy týnektegiler, kýnmen-týndi, kelgen-ketkendi biletinder, al búnda barlyghynan habardar Allanyng nyghymetine bólengen qazaqtyng iygi jaqsylary men jaysandary tynysh jata almay dónbekshiydi. «Óli riza bolmay, tiri bayymaydy» deytin qazaq óz singarmoniyziiymin búzghan ba?! Osynyng kesirinen elde oilamaghan bir tosyn apattar bolmasa eken dep shoshynghan Týrkistan qonaghy búl aradan tez ketuge asyqty. Ong qaptalyndaghy әinek meshitten azan ýni shyqty, elmen birge namazgha sap ústap, imamnyng artynda onyng sureti túrdy, al ruhy jer astyndaghy Yaassauy ata meshitinde hatymda otyrdy. Ýlken alqada qazaqtyng ruhany tau túlghalary men ózi kýnde aityp jýretin iygi jaqsylary jayghasypty... Qúlaqqa týrpidey tiygen әiel әnshining shynghyrghan dausy bar aumaqty jynghyrtty. Jer betindegi namazda, jer astyndaghy hatymda bitti. Biraq әiel әnshining ýni әli óshken joq.

Payghambarymyzgha qúrmet kórsetken Osmanlynyng hany Ábdul Hamit Medina qalasyna temir jol relisi jaqyndaghanda júmysshylaryna balghanyng basyna kiyiz kiydirip dybysyn shygharmay shege qaghugha әmir bergen, jәne qala ishine temir joldy kirgizbey syrtynan toqtatyp әruaqtardy renjitpepti. Fransuzdardyng әiel әnshileri synsyp әn salyp erkekteri janynda otyrghan óz әielin tastay salyp, bóten әielding belinen qapsyra qúshaqtap valis biylegenin bilgende Osmanly hany «myna biylerindi toqtatpasandar senderge soghys ashamyn, osynyng kesirinen adamzatqa ýlken apat keledi» dep elshi jibergen eken.

***

Azanmen shay tamaghyn ishti, baldyzynyng uniyverge aparyp qoyamyn degenine «el jәiin kórip, kóshe avtobusymen barayyn» dep ýn qatty. Týrkistannyng eski qala jaghy, ystyq su anadayda aspangha shapshidy, ainalasynda adamdar azanmen arqalaryn sugha tosyp rahhattanady. Beren-saran әielder de kezek kýtip qarap túr. Bayaghyda orystar alghash kelip jalanashtanghanda ol mandy «Jalanash» atap qazaqtar úyalghannan ol aimaqqa ayaq baspapty, býginde basqa júrt. Asyqqan jandar japa-tarmaghay tús-tústan antalap qoghamdyq kólikke minip jatty, Týrkistan drama teatrynyng túsy, keshe týnde bolghan qoyylymnan tis jarmay jolaushylardy ótkizip saldy, ar jaghyndaghy temir jol vagzalynyng many, gudek tarta yshqyna toqtaghan temirarba, týtini budaqtaghan paravozdar sopa basyn ala qashyp sholaq reliste zulaydy, asygha basyp ishke enip bara jatqan jolaushylar...vogzaldyng aldy yghy-jyghy jenil kólikpen sapyrylysqan adamdar... Quanysh bazaryna jetkende kólik ishi bir bosap, lezde qayta toldy. Ol uniyverding aldyndaghy dastarhan ayaldamasyna kelip týskende saghat tili 9:58 di kórsetti. Qolfony bazardan beri talay ret bezildedi. Qaqpadan kirgende oqu korpusynyng aldynda ózin kýtip túrghan eki apaydy kórdi. Emtihan bastaldy. Ózining jazghan oquylyqtaryn, maqalalaryn tiridey kóshirip sylka kórsetpegen studenterding bitiru júmystaryn kórip tóraghannyng kózi sharasynan shygha jazady. Janynda otyrghan kafedra menerushisi zerek jan eken, osy jylmen qytay tili mamandyghy jabylyp jatyr songhy týlekter edi.... tóragha júmsaqtyq tanytyp bәrine kóz júma qarady. Tóraghany týstendiruge әkeldi, búrshaq ezindisin ishken ol basqa eshtene auzyna salmady. artyq әure qylmady. Tanghalghan apaydyng bireui siz óz qaltanyzdan úshaqqa biylet alyp keldiniz, odan kýtip alugha kelispey, qonaq ýige jayghaspadynyz, emtihanghada kóshe avtbusymen keldiniz, endi ishken tamaghynyz mynau búnyng syry nede dep maymónkeletip súraq qoydy. Men janadan uniyverge júmysqa túrghan jyly bizge men siyaqty bir múghalim basqa qaladan memlekettik emtihangha tóragha bolyp keldi, oghan kelui ýshin barlyq qújattyn jasatyp úshaq biyletin alyp berdik. Kelgende kýtip aldyq, taghy basqa barlyq júmysyna men jauapty boldym, әlgi aghay syzdap pandanghanda shydamyng tausylady. Tipti sóileskende kerbez tartyp tanauyn kótere adam mensinbey sóileydi. Restoranda kýttik anau-mynaudy jaqtyrmaydy, tamaq tizimin qolyna alyp, eng qymbat tamaqtargha ózi zakaz beredi. Sol kezde shirkin mende keyin osy kisi siyaqty tóragha bolyp  bir jerge barsam mýlde kerisinshe ister edim dep ózime sert bergen edim.

- Endigi josparynyz qalay, sizge qalay qyzmet kórsetsek bolady.

- Men Yaassauy ata zertteu ghylym ortalyghyna, sosyn múrajaygha baryp erteng azanmen Almatygha qaytamyn.

- Jaqsy, biz ertip barayyq, onda  ghylymy zertteu ortalyghyndaghy ghalymdardy tanimyz, studenterimiz praktikadan ótken sonda, kerek deseniz kesenenning tóbesine shyghyp Týrkistan aimaghyn kórip kóz aidyn bolasyz.

- Joq, ózim barayyn, sizderding de óz sharaularynyz kóp, Kesene ýstine shyghugha bolmaydy, astynda adamdar jatyr...

Týrkistannnyng jana qala jaghy kóne qalagha esh úqsamaydy, mýlde basqa jat el siyaqty. Shirkin osy jana qalagha etno qala qúrsa, qazaqtyng saltyn-dәstýri jer betine pash etip túrsa, últtyq taghamdary jaynap túrghan restrondar ashyp qoysa, kelgen adam tamsanyp kete almay ainolsaqtap jýrse, baghasy da aspangha sharyqtamay qol jetimdi bolsa....

ghajayyp tóragha Yaassauy ata zertteu ghylym ortalyghyna baru ýshin qoghamdyq kólik kýtip әli túr.... «Týrkistan – ruhany astana, ony qasterleu, taghyzym etu paryz. Áuliyege qúmet tanytyp Abylay hansha kesene tóbesi kóringende attan týspesek te, әdepti bolghanymyz dúrys» dep kýmibirledi.

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