Sәrsenbi, 28 Shilde 2021
Janalyqtar 7839 0 pikir 27 Aqpan, 2012 saghat 06:24

Shәkәrim. Mәndi sózder

Men jetpis eki jasqa kelgenshe ómirde bolatyn neshe aluan qily oqighalargha, týrli jamandyq, jaqsylyqqa kezdesip, solardyng kópshiligin, kerekti-kereksizderin ózim de istep, basymnan ótkizgenderim kóp. «Aldynda ónegeli kórering bolsyn» degendey, aldymda Abay marqúm bolghan son, sodan ghibrat alyp, «men de adamdyqtyn, adaldyqtyng jolyn qughanym jón» dep, basymdy shytyrman shataqtan erte bosatyp alyp, bilim jolyna týstim. Negizgi alghan bilimim bolmasa da, óz betimmen izdenip, ótken jazushy-ghalymdardyng jazghandaryn oqyp, oilarymen tanysyp, bilgenderden súrap, óz oiymnan qúrap, týrli әngimeler jazyp, barlyq ómirimdi jazumen ótkizdim. Elu jasqa taqaghan son, onashada jatyp, basqa kelgen oilardyng barlyghyn qaghazgha týsirip kettim. Men solardyng bәrin óz maqtanym ýshin jazghamyn joq, maqtan ýshin jazylghan, aitylghan sózding qúny bolmaytynyn jaqsy bilemin. Keyingiler jaraghannan ýlgi alyp, ónege ýirensin dedim. Mine, jetpisten astym, oiym tozbaghanmen, denem tozdy. Tozghan denem oiyma oryn boludan qalyp barady. Men oghan qaramay әli de kelgen oidy jaza bermekpin.

Búl aitqaly otyrghan oiymdy jekelep, súryptap jazbaghanymmen, búrynghy jazghandarymda kezdesip otyrady. Búl taraudaghy oidy basynan ayaghyna deyin týgel jazyp, bәrin taldap, qorytyp shyghugha bir adamnyng ómiri kerek. Endigi mening qalghan ómirimning jetpeytini anyq. Degenmen, sol oiymdy qysqasha aldaryna tartpaqpyn.

Men jetpis eki jasqa kelgenshe ómirde bolatyn neshe aluan qily oqighalargha, týrli jamandyq, jaqsylyqqa kezdesip, solardyng kópshiligin, kerekti-kereksizderin ózim de istep, basymnan ótkizgenderim kóp. «Aldynda ónegeli kórering bolsyn» degendey, aldymda Abay marqúm bolghan son, sodan ghibrat alyp, «men de adamdyqtyn, adaldyqtyng jolyn qughanym jón» dep, basymdy shytyrman shataqtan erte bosatyp alyp, bilim jolyna týstim. Negizgi alghan bilimim bolmasa da, óz betimmen izdenip, ótken jazushy-ghalymdardyng jazghandaryn oqyp, oilarymen tanysyp, bilgenderden súrap, óz oiymnan qúrap, týrli әngimeler jazyp, barlyq ómirimdi jazumen ótkizdim. Elu jasqa taqaghan son, onashada jatyp, basqa kelgen oilardyng barlyghyn qaghazgha týsirip kettim. Men solardyng bәrin óz maqtanym ýshin jazghamyn joq, maqtan ýshin jazylghan, aitylghan sózding qúny bolmaytynyn jaqsy bilemin. Keyingiler jaraghannan ýlgi alyp, ónege ýirensin dedim. Mine, jetpisten astym, oiym tozbaghanmen, denem tozdy. Tozghan denem oiyma oryn boludan qalyp barady. Men oghan qaramay әli de kelgen oidy jaza bermekpin.

Búl aitqaly otyrghan oiymdy jekelep, súryptap jazbaghanymmen, búrynghy jazghandarymda kezdesip otyrady. Búl taraudaghy oidy basynan ayaghyna deyin týgel jazyp, bәrin taldap, qorytyp shyghugha bir adamnyng ómiri kerek. Endigi mening qalghan ómirimning jetpeytini anyq. Degenmen, sol oiymdy qysqasha aldaryna tartpaqpyn.

Búl oiym - basqa kelgen qiyal. Biraq bolmaghan is, qúrghaq qysyr kenes, jay qiyal deytin bir auru bar. Búl aurudan qútylu kerek. Nege deseniz, barlyq ghylymnyng ózi qiyaldan, oilaudan tughan. Adam osy jaralystyng bir bóligi, búl jaralystan, tabighattan bólek emes. Sondyqtan adamnyng búl dýniyede, búl tabighatta joq nәrseni oilauynyng ózi mýmkin emes, bolugha mýmkin isti ghana oilay alady - bir. Ekinshi, sol qiyal bolmaytyn nәrse dep otyrghanymyz - úlghaytylyp, ózgertilip, auystyrylyp aitylghan bolashaq boluy mýmkin. Nege deseniz, búryn fantaziya, qiyal dep jýrgen oilar býgin mýmkin daghdyly is ekenin tanyp, qútyla alamyz ba? Áriyne, qiyaldyng da shegi bar. Menshe, aitqaly otyrghan oiym bolmaytyn qiyal emes, bolugha mýmkin.

Adam ómirin qalay týzeuge bolady? Adam qaytkende tatu túra alady? Oily, sanaly adamdardyng ghasyrlar boyy miyn tynshytpay, ómirin sarp etken, әli de san adamdardyng aryn qozghap, oilaryn tynshytpaytyn osy súraqtar. «Adam ómirin týzeymiz» dep san ghalymdar týrli oilar aityp, ol oilaryn halyqqa taratyp, tom-tom kitaptar jazdy. Solardyng oilarynyng men biletin bastylary: bireuler «adam ómiri jaratqan iyesin tanumen týzeledi» dese, keybireuleri «ýkimet joyylsa, әrkim óz betimen ómir sýrse - týzeledi» dedi. Al, bireuler «oqu bilimmen, halyqty aghartumen adam ómiri týzeledi» dedi. Bireuleri «bay, kedeydi teneumen týzeledi» dese, bireuleri «tәrbiyemen týzeuge bolady» dedi. «Ómirding ózi - tirshilik talasy. Sondyqtan adam ómirin jaratylystyng ózi solay jaratqan, birin-biri jep, talap, talasyp ómir sýrmek» degender de bolghan.

Bizdinshe, búlardy jekedey alghanda eshqaysysy da adam ómirin týzey almaydy.

«Adam ózi jaratqan iyesin tanumen týzeledi» dese, jarat¬qan iyesin tanyp kýnde bes uaqyt namazyn oqyp, Qúrandy qaqpan qyp, eldi aldap jýretin molda-sopylardyng qylyqtaryn oilap qaranyz. Ýkimet joyylsa, adam bet-betimen ketse, bireu-bireuge jәrdem etpese, azuly aiuandar jekelegen adamdardy jey berse, qaytip ómir sýrmek? Oqu, bilim ýirengen adam týrli ónerdi biletini ras. Biraq ol óner-bilimdi qanday iske júmsaydy. Men kórgen adamdar ýirengen ghylymmen týrli qaru jasap, uly gazdar tauyp, basqa adamdardy ang esebinde atyp, әlsizdi qúldanyp, jerding betin adam qanymen boyaghannan basqa bitirgeni shamaly. Búghan eng ónerli, bilimdige sanalatyn Angliya, Amerika elderin qaranyz. Bay men kedeydi teneu, baydyng malyn kedeyge bólip beru - kedeydi erinshektik, enbeksiz mal tabugha daghdylandyryp jiberetin jol. «Tәrbiye¬men týzeuge bolady» dese: mening erjetken tórt úlym boldy. Búlardyng bәri bir shesheden, bir әkeden tughan, ósken jeri, ishken tamaghy, ósken ortasy, alghan tәrbiyesi - bir. Biraq bireui shydamdy, bireui shydamsyz, bireui enbekke qúmar, bireui jalqau, bireui meyirimdi, bireui qatal, bireui ashulanshaq.

Aqyrynda, «ómir - tirshilikting talasy, sondyqtan adam talasyp, birin-biri qyrugha jaralghan» degen oy negizsiz, óitkeni barlyq zat, onyng ishinde adam jaratylystaghydan ózgeretini sózsiz. Ary bar, aqyly bar, meyirimi bar, mahabbaty bar adamnyng birin-biri jep, talap, qyryp ósui mýmkin emes.

Bizshe, adam ómirin týzeuge, barlyq adamdar tatu túrugha negizgisi - adal enbek, aq jýrek, arly aqyl bolugha kerek. Dýniyede búl ýsheui ýstem bolmay, adam balasyna tynyshtyq ómir sýruge mýmkindik joq.

Áriyne, adam oqyp, bilip ýirenui qajet. Bilimsiz, ghylymsyz óner tabylmaydy. Sol alghan bilim-ónerlerin adal enbekpen jaratylystyng mol baylyghyn paydalanugha salsa, tabylmaytyn nәrse joq. Sol tapqan baylyqty barsha adam balasynyng keregine, paydasyna jaratu kerek.

Aq jýrekting kerektigi - meyirimdilik, mahabbat, qayyrymdylyq, adaldyq aq jýrekten shyghady.

Al, arly, aqyldy adam qiyanatty, zorlyqty, ózimshildikti, maqtandy bilmeydi jәne istemeydi.

Osy ýsheuining basy qosylsa, adam jaqsy ómir sýrip, birimen biri tatu túruynda sóz joq. Biraq osy aitylghandargha qarsy, joldan qosylghan, adamnyng boyynda birjola sinisip, bite qaynasyp qalghan kýshti, ziyandy jau nәrseler, әdetter de bar. Mine, osy jaman әdetterding barlyghynan adamdar tatu túryp, jayly ómir sýre almaydy. Olar - nәpsi, ózimshildik, maqtan. Búlardan úshy-qiyry joq jaman әdetter tua bermek. Mysaly, zorlyq, aldau, mansapqorlyq, malqúmarlyq, rahymsyzdyq, meyirimsizdiq, qanisherlik, taghy taghylar. Búlay bolghanda osy jaman әdetterden qútyludyng ailasyn izdeu kerek. Eng aldymen barlyq adamdy adal enbek etetin jolgha salu kerek. Ol ýshin kópting qalauymen әkimshilik basyna arly, aqyldy adamdardy qoyyp, sol adamdardyng búiryghy, aqyly boyynsha tughan, tuashaq adamdardy, jastardy qazyna qarauyna alugha zang shygharugha kerek te, ol zandy búzghandardy jazalau kerek. Olargha enbek ónerin ýiretu kerek, onymen qabat oqu-bilimge jetildiru qajet. Jogharghy aitylghan jaman әdetterdi joigha búlar jetkiliksiz bolghandyqtan, sol adal enbek, bilim ýirenumen qabat «Ar bilimi» degen bilim oqytylugha kerek. Búl ghylymdy aqyldy adamdar oilastyryp, pәn retinde jazyp, nәpsini joyyp, adam boyynda jeke ardyng qoja bolyp qalu jaghyn kózdeu kerek. Adam boyyndaghy nәpsi keseli ketse, ózgerisi onay.

«Abay-aqparat»

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