UAGhYZShYLARDYNG ÁYEL ETEGINEN BASQA AYTARY JOQ PA?
Jasyratyny joq, qazaq qoghamynda qazaq әielining jaghdayy onyp túrghan joq. Álbette onyng onbay túrghanyn elding taghdaryna tikeley yqpal etetin er azamattardyng intelektualdyq dengeyinen izdeymiz. Jaghdayy jaqsy әielder men otbasyna jauapty eri bar birli-jarym janúyalardy bylay ysyra túrynyz. Aytayyn degenim – ózekti, әri әleumettik auqymdy alyp bara jatqan jauapsyz er azamattardyng etek alyp bara jatqandyghy. Keshegi kýnderi kórshiler arasyndaghy kýnkil bolghan búl әngime endigi el arasyndaghy sheshui qiyn kýrdeli jayt bolyp otyr. Otbasyndaghy jauapsyz әkeler saldarynan әri bala tuyp baghatyn, әri aqsha tabatyn әielderding tauqymeti zorayyp túr. Olardyng syryn tynday qalsang tóbe qúiqang shymyrlaydy.
«Kýieuim úryp-soghady. Odan qorqamyn». «Aqsha tapsa, mindet qylady. Tappasa, shalqayyp jatady». «Tapqanyn ishedi, tappasa ýidegini satyp ishedi, balalardy qaytip baghatynymdy oilamaydy da». «Ótirik sózi kóp, qay sózine senerimdi bilmeymin». Tize bersek, jaghymsyz sipattamalary óte kóp. Áyelder óz kýieulerin bir tirlik isteuge mindettemek týgili, bir artyq sóz aitugha jasqanyp túrady. Artyq sózding artynan jalghan namysyn qamshylap, ne qolyn ala jýgirmek, ne ýiinen bezip dala kezbekke dayyn túrghany. Búl er azamattarymyzdyng sana sezimi qanday dengeyde ekenin kórsetip túr. Jәne búl «sana sezim» qaydan ghana qalyptasyp jatyr degen saualgha jauap izdeu kerek siyaqty. Azamat degen elge qorghan bola alatynday aqyldy, jigerli, tabysker, enbekqor, el-júrtyna qamqor bolmay ma eken deymiz-au. Búny olargha kim úqtyrmaq? Mektep pe, meshit pe? Kóshe me, ýy me? «Balany tuasyn, minezin tumaysyn» degen halyq naqyly bar. Qalt aitylmaghan. Balanyng minez-qúlqyn, sana-sezimin qalyptastyratyn – orta. Býginde sharighatty aityp, uaghyz oqityndar kóbeyip keledi. Keybiri aqylgha qonsa daghy, keybiri teris ekendigi anyq bayqalady. Olardyng arasynda «әielderdi úryp-soghyp tәrbiyeleu, әielding paryzy, әielding taqqan oramaly men etegining úzyn-qysqalyghy» siyaqty taqyryptargha jii toqtalatyny bar. Yapyr-au, sonshama әielding eteginen asa almaytynday basqa manyzdy azamattyq taqyryptardy nege uaghyzdamaydy?! Qoghamdy jaylap bara jatqan jemqorlyq, jauapsyz oryndalghan әleumettik júmystar men el arasyndaghy kelensizdikter, qylmystyng órshui siyaqty kýrdeli saualdar bar emes pe?! Ol tym biyik dengey bolsa, óz otbasynyng jaghdayyn jaqsartugha degen jauapkershilikti eng aldynghy qatargha qon kerektigin aitatyn adam bar ma?. Yaghni, azamattyq mindetterdi dúrys týsindire alatyn orta bolmay túrghan siyaqty.
Jasyratyny joq, qazaqta sýiekke singen «qatyngha qotyr qojayyndyq» qylatyn әdet bar. Jәne múny dúrys kóretinderding qatarynda intelektualdy dengeyi joghary degen azamattardyng bary tang qaldyrady. Áyeline óktem sóileytin qaysybir әkimder onysyn qalyng kópshilikten jasyrghan joq. Degenmen osy әdetting astarynda dayashy qyzdy teuip qúlatqan Túrageldiyev sindromy, әielin júdyryqtaytyn Esentaev sindromy, kóldeneng etekti jibermeytin Jamaliyevtyng sindromy taygha tanba basqanday kórinip túr.
Osy sindromdarmen kýresuge qazaq qoghamynda dәrmen bolugha tiyis. Qatyn úryp batyr boludy tipten jaqtaugha bolmaydy jәne bolmaydy. Múndaylargha qoghamda ong kózqaras tanytu ýlken qatelik. Sheshesin әkesi úryp tәrbiyeleytinin kórgen úl ertengi kýni búl amaldy óz otbasynda qaytalaydy. Sondyqtan balanyn túrmystyq zorlyq zombylyqty meylinshe kórmey óskeni, kóre qalsa dúrys oy týiip, sanasyn silkip aluy óte qajet. Balalyq shaqtan qalghan psihologiyalyq kýizelister adam balasyn ómirining sonyna deyin ókshelep jýretini әldeqashan dәleldengen jayt. Bala bolsyn, әiel, ne er bolsyn adamnyng aty – adam. Ol - jeke túlgha. Onyng azamattyq qúqyqtary men ar-namysy qorlanugha tiyis emes. Kimde kim osy qaghidadan attap keter bolsa, ózining azamattyghyna ýlken syn almaq. Tym terendep bilimning tenizine boylay almasaq ta, ózimizdi Búqar jyrau aitqan 11 tilekting birinshisinen –aq tәlim alyp kóreyikshi.
Birinshi tilek tileniz
Bir Allagha jazbasqa... –degen di.
Aghayynymyz adamnan úyalyp, Alladan qoryqsa eken dep tileymin. Adamnyng iyghynda otyratyn eki perishte jasaghan barlyq jaqsylyqtarymyz ben jamandyqtarymyzdy jazyp otyratyny ras bolsa jәne jasaghan kýnәmiz ýshin jaratqannan keshirim súray túryp taghy da әdeyi qaytalaytyn bolsaq, onda aldynghy kýnәlarmen qosylyp eki eselene týsedi desedi.
Aqyrette Allagha jazghan kýnәlarymyz aldymyzdan shyghatyny aqiqat. Sondyqtan, adamgershilik degen úly qasiyetti attap ketpey, әr adammen syilasa biluge, ózimizdi syilata biluge yntaly bolsaq. Ol ýshin bilekting kýshine emes, bilimning kýshine sýiensek. Bilekke sýiensek qadir qasiyetimiz ketedi, bilimge sýiensek mereyimiz ósetini haq.
Gýljan Iztay
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