Otbasyndaghy er adamnyng róli qanday qazir? Shanyraqtyng túraqtylyghy men berik qorghanysynyng kepili - әke óz mindetin mýltiksiz atqaryp jýr me? Kýiki tirlikting kýibeni men kýizelisine qazirgi erkek kindiktilerding shydamay, jýikeleri jii syr beretini nesi? Óz-ózine qol saluda әielderdi 4 orap aluyna ne sebep? Bala tәrbiyesinde, otbasyn qarjylyq qamtamasyz etude әkelerding qarym-qabileti qanday? Osy saualdargha jauap izdelgen dóngelek ýstelde biraz mәselening beti ashyldy.
15 mamyr - Halyqaralyq otbasy kýni. Qazaqstanda búl mereke toylanbasa da, otbasylyq qúndylyqtardy joghary baghalaytyn bizding qoghamda әke men ananyn, balanyng qarym-qatynasyna qatysty mәseleler biz ýshin de asa ózekti. Sayasy sheshimder institutynda ótkizilgen «Otbasylyq qúrylym: qazirgi er azamattardyng otbasyndaghy róli» taqyrybyndaghy dóngelek ýstelde otbasylyq qúrylymnyng býgingi ahualyn talqygha saldy. Býginde qazaqstandyq otbasynda qanday jaghday oryn alghan? Daghdarys pa, beyimdelu me? Otbasyndaghy erkekting róli qanday? Otbasylyq mindetterding qaysysyn mýltiksiz oryndaydy nemese qaysysy qolynan kelmey jýr? Otbasylardaghy túraqtylyqty qalay saqtaugha bolady? Osy siyaqty saualdargha jauap izdegen sarapshylar qauymy qoghamdaghy qordalanghan birqatar kemshilik pen qiyndyqtyng betin ashty.

Otbasyndaghy er adamnyng róli qanday qazir? Shanyraqtyng túraqtylyghy men berik qorghanysynyng kepili - әke óz mindetin mýltiksiz atqaryp jýr me? Kýiki tirlikting kýibeni men kýizelisine qazirgi erkek kindiktilerding shydamay, jýikeleri jii syr beretini nesi? Óz-ózine qol saluda әielderdi 4 orap aluyna ne sebep? Bala tәrbiyesinde, otbasyn qarjylyq qamtamasyz etude әkelerding qarym-qabileti qanday? Osy saualdargha jauap izdelgen dóngelek ýstelde biraz mәselening beti ashyldy.
15 mamyr - Halyqaralyq otbasy kýni. Qazaqstanda búl mereke toylanbasa da, otbasylyq qúndylyqtardy joghary baghalaytyn bizding qoghamda әke men ananyn, balanyng qarym-qatynasyna qatysty mәseleler biz ýshin de asa ózekti. Sayasy sheshimder institutynda ótkizilgen «Otbasylyq qúrylym: qazirgi er azamattardyng otbasyndaghy róli» taqyrybyndaghy dóngelek ýstelde otbasylyq qúrylymnyng býgingi ahualyn talqygha saldy. Býginde qazaqstandyq otbasynda qanday jaghday oryn alghan? Daghdarys pa, beyimdelu me? Otbasyndaghy erkekting róli qanday? Otbasylyq mindetterding qaysysyn mýltiksiz oryndaydy nemese qaysysy qolynan kelmey jýr? Otbasylardaghy túraqtylyqty qalay saqtaugha bolady? Osy siyaqty saualdargha jauap izdegen sarapshylar qauymy qoghamdaghy qordalanghan birqatar kemshilik pen qiyndyqtyng betin ashty.
Jasyratyny joq, qazir ýilenu de, ýy bolu da qiyn. Jyl sayyn kóptegen otbasynyng berekesi qashyp, shanyraqtary shayqalatyny - sonyng aighaghy. Mәselen, 2011 jyly 160 myng 494 júp kónil qossa, 44 myng 862 júp resmy týrde ajyrasypty. Beyresmy derekterdi qossaq, kórsetkishting odan da joghary ekeni anyq. «Basyna tartsang ayaghyna jetpeytin» myna jalghannan óz erkimen ketip jatqandar da bar. Kýiki tirlikting kýibeni men kýizelisine «qyryq jany» bar әielder berik kórinedi. Óitkeni suisiyd, yaghni, óz-ózine qol júmsau әielderge qaraghanda, erkekter arasynda 4 ese kóp kórinedi. Jýrek-qan tamyrlary aurularyna jii úshyraytyn azamattardyng (35 jas­tan joghary) әielderge qaraghanda, 9 jyl kem ómir sýretini taghy bar.
SShY mamandarynyng Almaty men Astana jәne 14 oblys boyynsha 2305 adamgha jýrgizgen әleumettik saualnamada respondentterding 51 payyzdan astamy «otbasyndaghy erlerding róli ózgerdi» degen pikirde bolypty. Onyng 27 payyzy - «yqpaly ósti», al 23 payyzdan astamy - «yqpaly tómendedi» degen. Saualnamagha qatysushylardyng 53,6 payyzy «erkekter - otbasynyng asyraushysy, qarjylyq túraqtylyqtyng qaynar kózi» dep baghalaghan. Al 37 payyzgha juyq otandas azamattardy otbasy mýshelerine jol kórsetushi kósemdik rólge layyq degen senimde. Jaghymdy pikirge kereghar oy aitqandar da bar: әielderding 3,6 payyzy «qojayyn retinde qabyldamaymyn» dese, 2,1 payyzy «erkekter - jalqau, jatypisher» depti.
Kez kelgen otbasyndaghy manyzdy sheshimder qabyldauda kimning yqpaly zor? Búl súraqqa 43,6 payyz respondent - «otaghasy», 29,5 payyzy «otbasynda bireuge basymdyq berilmeui tiyis, manyzdy sheshimder ortaq qabyldanuy kerek» depti. Genderlik tendik sayasatynyng joghyn joqtaushylar - qyz-kelinshekter (35,3%) ekeni aitpasa da belgili.
Óskeleng úrpaq tәrbiyesinde әkening yqpaly zor. Respondentterding basym bóligi osynday pikirde. Alayda 23,8 payyz otandastyng aituynsha, әkening bala tәrbiyesine aralasuy shekteuli әri siyrek boluy qajet. Ata-analyq mindetin atqaruda respondentterding 40 payyzgha juyghy «balalarmen birge oinaydy», «týrli taqyrypqa әngimelesedi», 24 payyzy tabighatqa shyghyp, qydyrady. Esesine, balalarmen birge kitap oqityndar az - 9,3%.
Otbasy bolghasyn «ydys-ayaq syldyramay» túrmaydy, biraq saualnamagha qatysushylardyng ishindegi azamattyq nekede túratyndary ghana úrys-keristing jii oryn alatynyn moyyndaghan (18 payyz). «Óte siyrek úrysamyz» - 38,6%, «ayyna birneshe ret» - 19,5%, «aptasyna birneshe ret» - 8,1%, «kýnine birneshe ret» - 3,5%. Bir qyzyghy, súraqqa jauap bergenderding 11,2 payyzy eshqashan úryspaghan, beybit ómir sýrip jatqandaryn aitqan. Álbette, úrys-keristing basty sebebi - qarjylyq jәne kýndelikti qiyndyqtar (43,4%).
Dóngelek ýsteldegi spiykerlerding biri - psihologiya ghylymdarynyng kandidaty Mayra Qabaqovanyng aituynsha, qazirgi kezde otbasylyq-nekelik qarym-qatynastardy, әleumettik-psihologiyalyq problemalardy, әiel men erkekting róldik qatynastaryn retteytin ýderis jýrude. Er adamdardyng otbasyndaghy basty mindeti turaly pikirlerding aluandyghynan keyde oy qayshylyqtary tuyndaydy. Sarapshylar qauymy azamattardyng otbasyndaghy ghana emes, tútas qoghamdaghy rólin saralap alugha kenes beredi. Búl orayda M.Qabaqova: «Zertteushilerding kópshiligi tipti, erkekterding rólining daghdarysqa úshyraghanyn kóldeneng tartady. Atalghan daghdarysqa birneshe sebep bar. Bastysy, erkekter men әkelerding kópshiligining bastapqy bedeli men maqsat-mindetine sәikes kele almauy. Kýieui men әieli otbasyndaghy ózderining rólin, kimning nege jauap beretinin jete týsinui qajet. Sonday-aq erli-zayyptylardyng ekeui de ózderining otbasylyq rólderine qanaghattanuy shart. Búl shanyraqtaghy ýilesimdilik pen túraqtylyqqa kepil bolady» deydi. Búl orayda psiholog maman balanyng túlgha retinde qalyptasuyna әke men sheshening qanday yqpal etetinin mysalgha keltiredi: «Ananyng mindeti - bala kýtimi, qamqorlyq, baylanys, emosionaldyq qoldau. Ákening mindeti - strategiyalyq jos­parlau, sarapshylyq mindet, oiyndar boyynsha seriktestik».
Psihologtar bala tәrbiyesinde, әsirese úl balanyng keleshegine әkening yqpaly qajet ekenin aitady. Ol ýshin әke úlymen sәby kezinen bastap dos boluy kerek: «Ákesiz órkeniyet joq. Osy sebepti әkeler qoghamdaghy óz oryndaryn qayta iyelenuleri qajet. Qoghamnyng qúryluy әkelerden bas­talady. Ony sheshuding birneshe joly bar: otbasy problemalary boyynsha zertteuler jýrgizu; qoghamdaghy erlerding rólin әke retinde de, azamat retinde BAQ, kino arqyly arttyru; bala boyyndaghy túlghalyq qasiyetterdi qalyptastyruda әkening róli joghary ekenin kórsetu; psihologiyalyq túrghyda ýlgi tútugha bolatyn otbasylardy nasihattau; «Jas otbasylar mektebi», «Bolashaq әkeler mektebi» t.b. kurstaryn ashu kerek». Sonymen qatar sarapshylar otbasylyq qúndylyqtar, shanyraqtaghy otaghasylardyng mindeti men maqsaty, analyq mindetter, bala tәrbiyesi, atalar men әjelerding róli t.b. turaly gazet-jurnaldar shygharugha úsynys aitty. Qazaqstannyng Psihologtar assosiasiyasynyng ókili Nina Nastichting mәlimdeuinshe, halyqaralyq statistikada Jer sharynda baqytty adam joqtyng qasy. Baqytty boludyng sharttary bala boyyna besikten sinui qajet. Sondyqtan úl men qyz tәrbiyesining eki týri boluy kerek: «Qazirgi qoghamda otbasylyq, bilim, tәrbiye, medisina, ghylym t.b. salalarda daghdarys bayqalady. Al daghdarys degenimiz otbasylyq tәrbiyeden bastalady emes pe? Adamdar arasyndaghy qarym-qatynasta ózimshildik sharyqtau shegine jetti. Biraq ózimshildik adamdardyng belgili bir dengeyge deyin jetuine ýlken yqpal etedi, sol ýshin de qajet. Erkekterding tәrbiyesindegi manyzdy jayt: 0-3 jas aralyghynda balagha әke qajet emes, 3-8 jas aralyghynda әke balanyng senimdi dosyna ainaluy tiyis, 7-18 jasta - tәlimgeri, 20 jastan keyin balany tәrbiyeleuding qajeti joq. Ol - endigi dayyn ónim. Ony ózgertu mýmkin emes».
Jalpy tәrbiyede psihologtar jasóspi­rimder әleminde agressiya men suisidting etek alyp bara jatqanyn bayqaydy. Búl jastardyng әlemdi, ómirdi óz betinshe qabyldauynan. Jana úrpaqtyng dengeyine jetu ýshin balalar men eresekterdi janasha tәrbiyeleu kerek. Qazir erkekter ýilengisi kelmeydi, al qyzdar túrmysqa shyghyp, bala tuugha qúlshynbaydy. Búl - jeke adamdardyng ghana emes, qoghamnyng problemasy. Demek, otbasylyq qúndylyqtardy ýidegi ata-anamen birge ústazdar qauymy da mektep qabyrghasynda nasihattaghany abzal.

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