Búl - birinen-biri tuyndaghan ýshinshi maqalam. Oqyr­man­dardyng oiyn qozghaghan, әsirese qalamgerler qauymyna tәp-tәuir-aq әser etken әuelgi jazbam Qazaqstan jazushylarynyng ke­zekti qúryltayy aldyndaghy plenumnan song jariyalanyp edi. Sodan keyingi materialymda da Alash iydeyasyn kótergen arystardy ainalyp óte almay, aitar oiymnyng orayyna qaray kýiin­gende, kýizelgende... qayran qazaghymnyng keleshegi ýshin kýreske qúshtarlanyp, ózgelerdi de jigerlendir­gende aitqan sóz­derin barynsha synalay en­gizdim

Endi taghy da eriksiz aruaqtarynan ainalayyn arystarymyzgha jýginbekpin. Qazaghyma aitamyn, halqymdy qalyng úiqysynan oyatamyn degen niyetpen aituday aityp, jazuday jazyp, bir­aq sózi ótpey, әbden qajyghan bir sәtinde Ahang - Ahmet Baytúrsynov: "Talap joq, ýmit kóp bir halyqpyz", - dep nalyghan eken. Artynan qúlay sengen qazaghynyng әreketsiz­digine ókpe-renishi sәl seyilip, últynyng erteni, almastyratyn úrpaqtarynyng taghdyry tynshytpay, aghartushylyq, azat­kerlik isine qayta kiriskende:

...Tәn kómiler, kómilmes etken isim,

Oylaytyndar men emes bir kýngisin.

Júrt úqpasa úqpasyn, jabyqpaymyn

El - býginshil, meniki - ertengi ýshin, - depti.

Búl - birinen-biri tuyndaghan ýshinshi maqalam. Oqyr­man­dardyng oiyn qozghaghan, әsirese qalamgerler qauymyna tәp-tәuir-aq әser etken әuelgi jazbam Qazaqstan jazushylarynyng ke­zekti qúryltayy aldyndaghy plenumnan song jariyalanyp edi. Sodan keyingi materialymda da Alash iydeyasyn kótergen arystardy ainalyp óte almay, aitar oiymnyng orayyna qaray kýiin­gende, kýizelgende... qayran qazaghymnyng keleshegi ýshin kýreske qúshtarlanyp, ózgelerdi de jigerlendir­gende aitqan sóz­derin barynsha synalay en­gizdim

Endi taghy da eriksiz aruaqtarynan ainalayyn arystarymyzgha jýginbekpin. Qazaghyma aitamyn, halqymdy qalyng úiqysynan oyatamyn degen niyetpen aituday aityp, jazuday jazyp, bir­aq sózi ótpey, әbden qajyghan bir sәtinde Ahang - Ahmet Baytúrsynov: "Talap joq, ýmit kóp bir halyqpyz", - dep nalyghan eken. Artynan qúlay sengen qazaghynyng әreketsiz­digine ókpe-renishi sәl seyilip, últynyng erteni, almastyratyn úrpaqtarynyng taghdyry tynshytpay, aghartushylyq, azat­kerlik isine qayta kiriskende:

...Tәn kómiler, kómilmes etken isim,

Oylaytyndar men emes bir kýngisin.

Júrt úqpasa úqpasyn, jabyqpaymyn

El - býginshil, meniki - ertengi ýshin, - depti.

Qaranyzshy, qazaghyna degen qúshtar sezimining sheksizdigin! Dәl osynday oidy basqa arys­tarymyz da aitqan. Solardy oqyghan kezde: "Sózimen de, isimen de halqyna qylausyz kóni­lmen qyzmet etken Alashtyng arystary-ay, qanday gha­jap er edinder!" deysing qayran qalyp. "Jensek, bir tóbede bas qosamyz, jenilsek, bir shúnqyrda kómi­lemiz" dep, jaqsylyqqa da, jamandyqqa da ózderin sanaly týrde dayyndaghan olar, ókinishtisi, jenildi. Bireuleri "Butyrkada" baqilyq boldy, endi bireuleri Kolymada kóz júmdy, qalghandary Almatynyng týrmesinde taghdyrlaryn tәmamdady. Áyteuir ghayyptan tayyp aman qalghannyng bireui Múhang - әlemge әigili jazushymyz Múhtar Omarhanúly Áuezov eken. Ghúlamanyng myna bir sózin tәu etetin Tәuelsiz­dikke op-onay qol jetkizgen býgingi qazaq qauymyna qaratyp aitugha әbden bolady:

"...Qyryqayaqtan bireu qalay jýretinin súrap: "Sen ekinshi ayaghyndy algha basqanda jiyrma ekinshi ayaghyng ne isteydi?" depti. Búdan oiynda eshtene joq, qannen-qapersiz zyr jýgirip jýrgen qyryqayaq, oilamaghan jerden myna súraqty estigennen keyin, mýlde jýre almay qalypty" deydi eken studentterge oqyghan dәris­terining arasynda.

Tәuelsizdikti ghasyrlar boyy ansaghan, azaptanghan, san ret kýresip, qan-qasap shay­qas­tarda onbay jenil­gen, alayda alghan betinen qaytpaghan qaysar qazaq... әr zamanda yghytyna qaray kýresip, әdis-tәsilin ózger­tip, bodandyqtyng búidasyn ýzip, óz aldyna el boluy ýshin alysyp-arpalysumen kelgen qazaq - baqyttyng bozala tany ansarly qua­nyshqa qolyn jetkizgen kezde basy ainaldy. Al halqyna qaraylaytyn biylik bir­te-birte aiylyn jimaytyn ailakerge ainala bastady. Tәrtipten tizgin ketti. Bas bermes berekesizdik býkil eldi qausyra qarmady. Qazaqtyng anasy atanghan auyl anyrady. Myn­ghyr­ghan mal men jomart jer "tisti­ler men tyrnaqtylardyn" (S.Dónentaev) uysyna ilikti. Býtindi býldiru, bardy joq etuding jantalasynda ne bol­ghanyn úqpaghan anqau halyq anyryp, abdyrady da qal­dy. "Qazannan qaqpaq ketti". Biyliktegi keshegi kósemder betperdelerin laqtyrdy da, babalardan kýlli úrpaqtaryna múralyqqa enshilen­gen mol baylyqqa, kenestik dәuirden jinaqtalghan qisapyz qor men alyp ónerkәsip, qúrylys ataulymyzgha, shiyki­zat kózderimen birge púl bolatyn bar dýniye­mizge ashqaraq ashkóz­dikpen, kisә­pir jauyzdyqpen qol saldy. Qaytsin, "týk kórmegen" bay­ghústar tәuelsizdik degen osy eken dep úqqan ghoy...

Ómiri bolyp kórmegen mún­day soyqan tirlik tiksin­dirgen sol bir kezende onyng joghyn eng aldymen joqtaugha tiyis ziyaly qauym, onyng ishinde bizding qalam­ger­ler­ding basym kópshi­ligi biylikting qabaghyn baghyp otyra berdi. Alayda arasynda tasqa basylghan sózderimen de, efirde nemese kópshilik bas qosqan alqaly jiyndarda ashynyp aitqan oilarymen de daralanyp, kózge týskenning biri - jazushy Ghabbas Qabyshúly. Ol tәuel­sizdigimizding elen-alang shaghy derlik 1993 jyly-aq: "Taghdyr búiyrtqan tәuelsiz­digimizding qadirin bilgimiz kelse, osy tәuel­sizdik ýshin kýresken arydaghy handarymyzdyn, beri­degi alashshyl arystarymyzdyng aruaghyn qasterleu - býgingi buynnyng paryzy dep týsinip, halqymyzgha adal bolayyq!" dep jazdy. Aragha tórt jyl salyp, talan-taraj boy bermey bara jatqan kezde Qabdesh Júmadi­lov: "Bazar biylegen zamanda saudagha týs­peytin dýnie joq. Qajet bop bara jatsa, maldy da, múnaydy da, kómir men temirdi de, altyn-kýmis, asyl tastardy da, bәrin de búldap ótkizuge bolady. Tek dýniyening bar baylyghyn úsynsa da, saudagha salugha bolmaytyn bir kiyeli nәrse bar. Ol - qazaq elining tәuelsizdigi" - dep shamyrqana oy tastady mer­zim­dik basylymdardyng birinde.

Qasiyetinnen ainalayyn Tәuelsizdik! Eng ókinishtisi jәne eshqashan keshiruge bolmaytyny - sening qadir-qasiyetindi biylikti uysynan shygharmay, shengeldep ústaghan óz qazaqtarymyz úghynbady. Bir kisining ainala-tóniregine shahmat taqtasyndaghy peshkilerdey ýii­rilip, jelimdey jabysqan jalbaqay top últ ekenimiz­di, búl memleket eng birinshi osy elding atyn alghan qazaq halqyna qyzmet etu qajet­tigin mýlde eskermedi. Olar - oqyghan, bilimdar. Tipti shetinen ghylym doktory, professor; sóilese, solar sói­lesin! Biraq solardyng seksen-toqsan payyzy aq sýtin emgen anasynyng tilinen maqúrym, esesine, ózge tilde kósilgende aldaryna jan salmaytyn su jorgha. Nege olay?..

Osy rette Kenester Odaghy túsynda jәne tәuel­siz el atan­ghan әuelgi bes-on jyldaghy jaghdaygha týsinis­tik­pen qarap, bylay ysyrayyq. Al odan keyingi jyldar she? Ayday aqiqaty - preziydentting ózi eng әueli Qa­zaq elining atynan baryp, tabany tiygen jerding bә­rinde qazaqsha sóilep, ti­limizding mәrtebesin kótergende, jylma-jylghy Joldaularyndaghy sózderining bas-ayaghynda ghana aitar oiyn, on shaqty adamgha ghana arnaghan keyipte jylmitpay, qúnary mol, әuezi bay ana tilimizde jalpaq júrtqa jetkizgende, shyny kerek, býgingi Ýkimette últymyzgha qyzmet etpeytin birde-bir qatybas "qazaq", qazaqqa mayly múrnynyng ýsti­nen jylmiya qaraytyn bezbýirek ministr otyrmas edi!

"Últqa qojalyq jasaugha bolmaydy, oghan tek qana qyzmet etuge bolady" deydi Mústafa Atatýrik.

Tili, dini, ruhy saqtalghan kezde ghana jer betinde Qa­zaq memleketi ómir sýredi. Sonday elde ghana onyng biyleushi Preziydenti bolady, ony halqy adaldyghyna, qaltqysyz qyzmet qylatynyna senip, saylaydy. "Biz­ge qara basynyng qamyn sýienishi bolar últynan, tayanysh-tiregi bolatyn halqynan biyik qoyatyn súltannyng qajeti joq" deydi. Eldi ezgide ústaghandy únatatyn, oghan ýstemdik etkendi ústanym tútatyn biy­likti qalamaydy. Endeshe biz qanday memlekettemiz? Bar edik, bay edik, biraq sonyng rahatyn búiyrtpaghan, syrttan kelgen kelimsekterding paydasyna iyilip, solargha enshi­lep bergen sayasattyng kók­segeni ne? Sonda biz qanday órke­niyet­ti múrat etip, ilgerilep baramyz ózi?.. - degen sekildi kópshiligimizding kónilimizdi kýpti qylghan saualdardy algha tartsaq, myna bir óleng til úshyna ýiiriledi:

Maqsatyndy qayteyin,

Jetpegen song múratqa.

Jaqsy atyndy qayteyin,

Halqyndy aldap, jylat­qan!..

(H.Esenqaraqyzy)

Bizge aldampaz sheneu­nik­ting qajeti joq, onyng da qúny kók tiyn! Bizge halyqtyng alansyz ómirin qamtamasyz etetin, soghan kepil bolatyn aq-adal patsha men sayasatyn jýrgizetin niyeti týzu,isker serikteri kerek! Biz ken-baytaq Qazaqstannyng tә­uel­sizdigine eshkim qol súqpaytyn, ekonomikalyq derbes­tigine aralaspaytyn, san ghasyrdan beri saqtap kelgen bar baylyqtyng rәtin ózimiz kóreyik degen oiymyzdy irkilmey ashyq aita alatyn memlekette ómir sýrgimiz keledi. Kәne, aitynyzshy, búl niyetimiz­de qanday qylmys, qighashtyq bar? Keshegi jazyqsyzdan-jazyqsyz japa shekken, qúrban bolghan Alashtyng arystary men býgingi ashyq oily, arly azamattardyng algha ústanghan múraty, aityp jýrgen basty mәselesi emes pe búl? Endeshe, Astanadaghy taq tó­niregindegi topqa qaray auyz ashyp, memle­ket­ting qarjysy esebinen kýn kórip, ózderinshe halyqtyq sayasat ústanghan týr tanytatyn gazet-jurnaldar men elektrondyq taratu qúraldary nege osylay ashyq aityp, jazbaydy? El biletin aqiqattan nege alshaqtaydy? Júrt­tyng janyn auyrtyp, az ghana toptyng maqsat-mýddesin qor­ghaytyn oqighany jasyryp-jauyp, halyqtyq qasiretting shyndyghyn jetkizuden ne sebepti jaltarady? Biylikting sózin sóilep, jónin jóndep jýr­gen sayasatkerler men ekonomist-ghalymdar, "halyq qalaulylary" bir-birlerining auzyna týkirip qoyghanday maqtaytyn Kedendik odaq pen Euraziyalyq odaq, Euraziyalyq parlament, sayasi-ekonomikalyq, mәdeni integrasiya elimiz ýshin sonshalyqty múqtaj, asa paydaly nәrse me? Olardyng sayrap aituyna, jazuyna sensek, dәl solay sekildi. Shyn mәninde búlar qazaq mýddesine keri әserin tiy­gizetin, endi ghana irgesin nyqtap, tuyn tiktep kele jat­qan tәuelsiz elimizdi shayqalta bas­taghan qiytúrqy sheshimder ekeni naqtylana bastady. Uaqyt il­gerilegen sayyn biy­liktegi­ler oppozisiya dep kýstanalaytyn bir shoghyr toptyng qayta-qayta kóterip, býkil halyqtyq referendum ót­kizeyik dep shyr-pyry shyghyp, qarsylyq kórsetip jatqanyna qaramay, sayasy solaqay sheshimder kýsh alyp, qater búlty qoylanghan ýstine qoylana týsti...

Qúldyq oi-pighyl tamyr-tamyrymyzdy qualap, ón boyymyzgha әbden úyalap alypty. Tәuelsiz basylymdarda: "Mem­lekettigimizge qauip tóndi... Taghy da bodan bolugha bet týzedik. Endi bir kirsek, orystyng "otty" qúshaghynan shygha almay qor bolamyz" dep aituday aitylyp, jazuday jazylyp-aq edi. Alayda selt eter qalyng qazaq kórinbeydi: әli de marghau, maubas, kerenau qal­py... Sonda qalay bolghany? Búny ne dep úghamyz, qalay týsinemiz?.. Álde orystar halyq boludan qalyp bara jatqanda qatty kýiingen­nen kijinip jazghan dekabrist P.Ya.Chaadaev siyaqty, "Qúl­dyq­tan qorynbaghan halyq shirip ólse - sauap!" dep, qolymyzdy bir siltep, ishi­mizdi alau ottay sharpyghan oiymyzdy óshiremiz be?..

IYә, qazaghym, halqym, qay­teyik? Jónin aitynyzshy, ne isteyik?..

"...Adam shyn izgi adam bolamyn dese, halyq isi, halyq paydasy jolynda qúrban bola bilsin" degen eken Maghjan aqyn Júmabaev. Adamy ómir­ding ólshemi - qanday qyspaqqa da moyymau, azap shegu dep týigen, tipti, qajet etse, ajal qú­shudan da qashpaghan Alash arystarynyng ortaq oiy osylay. Al býgingi oqyghany da, toqyghany da jeterlik zamandas agha-apalarymyzdyng pikir-pa­yymy qalay, olar ne der eken?..

Endeshe, birer aigha she­ginis jasayyq.

Tamyzdyng 7-si kýni "Jas Alash" gazetindegi "Bodandyqqa týsting be, qayran elim?!" Osylay dep zar tókken qogham qayratkeri Sabyr Qasymovtyng janayqayyna kim qúlaq týredi?.." degen materialyma eng әueli Ýsenbay Tastanbekov ýn qatty. Jasy toqsannyng tórtine kelgen elimizdegi eng qart jurnalist Ýsekeng aqsaqal Oraz Jandosovpen jýz­des­ken, Alashorda qay­rat­kerlerining talayynyng lebizin óz qúlaghymen esti­gen, Úly Otan soghysyna bastan-ayaq qatysyp, basynan adam aitqysyz qanshama mashaqatty oqighalardy ót­kizgen qazyna kisining naq ózi. Sanasy sergek, sózi aiday anyq: sóilep bir ketse, talay tarihty, talayly taghdyrlardy aldynyzgha jayyp salady.

"Qaraghym, maqalang óte ashy eken. Aytqan son, ós­tip aitu kerek! Áytkenmen, qoghamdaghy aqiqattyng osynday ekenin kóre, bile túra, kóbimiz jazudan qashamyz. Sen sol olqylyghymyzdy kózge shúqyghanday etip kórsettin. Aman bol, ainalayyn", - dedi atamyz.

"Áy, Altyntay, - dep bas­tady seksenning sengirine shyqqan Qolan Amanov. Ol kisi býkil ómirin qarjy salasyna arnaghan, Respublika Qarjy miniys­trining orynbasary qyzmetin atqarghan tanymal túlgha, onyng syrtynda jazushylyghymen de erek­shelenip, әldeneshe kitap­tyng avtory atanghan belgili qalamger. - Sen búghan deyin eshkim jaza almaghandy jazdyn, ainalayyn. Men de sen jaghyndamyn. Jalghyz emes­sin. Olay deytinim, halyqtyng sózin aittyn, qalyng qazaqtyng mýd­deli oiyn jetkizdin, Altyntay..."

- "Esti sózdi estigisi kelmegen adam sanyraugha ten". Berekesizdiktin, betimen aua jayylghandyqtyng bәrin kózi bar kisi kórip, jany, jýregi bar el ashyna aiqaylap, shyryldy salyp-aq jatyr. Biraq, oghan qaraytyn biylik bolmay túr. Áytpese erkin oily basylymdardy jibermey oqyp, Kedendik odaqtyng qyryq qatparly qiytúrqysyn úghynuday úghyndyq. Euroaziyalyq odaq degenning de tәuelsizdigi­mizden aiyrugha aparatyn kesepatty sayasat ekenin ishimiz sezip, qan jútqanday kýy keshudemiz. Átten, osyny auyldaghy kýn­kóris­ting kýibeninen kóz asha almay tityqtaghan qandastarymyz bilmeydi ghoy, qaraghym, - dedi ózim kópten aralasatyn Úlghaysha apay men Meyram Mae­merovter. Ol kisilerding ekeui de - zeynetker. Úlghaysha Amantayqyzynyng mamandyghy dәri­ger, qajylyq paryzyn ótegen kisi. Al Meyram aghamyz - Qúmkól múnay kenishin ashqan geolog-maman, býginde Q.Sәt­baev atyndaghy Qazaq últtyq tehnikalyq uniyver­siy­tetinde dәris beredi, professor. Ekeui de tәuel­sizdikting rahatyn halyqtyng kóre almaghanyna, eldi qymbatshylyqtyng qyspaghynda tityqtatyp, túralatqanyna, auyldaghy bauyrlarymyzdyng qiyn haline, jastarymyzdyng ýisiz-kýisizdigine, oqu bitirgen myndaghan qyz-jigit­terding qos-qos diplommen sandalyp jýrgenine, әskerdegi bereke­siz­dik pen býkil jýieni jaylaghan jemqorlyqqa qatty nalidy. - Qayteyik, eldi óstip ayaghannan arygha bara almaymyz. Neshe týrli jan týrshiger­lik oqighalar bolyp jatyr. Bizdi qorghaydy degen әskerimiz myna týrimen ózderin qorghay ala ma dep te bas qatyramyz. Jana­ózendegi poliyseylerding jauyzdyghy anau... Búl ózi qanday qogham, ne qylghan biylik?.. Tili de bólek, tirligi de            qy­­n­yr... - deydi.

Almatydan shyghatyn gazetter alys audandar men auyldargha әldeneshe kýn salyp jetedi. Gazetti oqy sala Jualydan ústazym Ábdimәjit Dәurenov habarlasty.

- Áy, Talghat, maqalandy oqyp esim auyp qaldy... Mynanyng avtory shynymen sensing be? Eger solay bolsa, ózindi bireuler arandatyp, aidap salyp jýrgen joq pa? - dedi kónildegi kýmәnin seyiltuge asyghyp.

- IYesi - men, aghay. Jazghanym bir sózi ózgermey basyldy. Solay jazugha mәj­býr boldym. Qazaqstannyng qazirgi jaghdayyn óziniz de jaqsy bilesiz... Keletin jerge keldik qoy!..

- Oipyrmay, deseyshi! Ne derge bilmey dalmyn. Qarsy aitar dәlelim, kel­tirer dәiek­ti uәjim joq. Áyteuir bir jaqqa bara jatyrmyz, onyng qanday baghyt ekenin Qúday ghana bile­di... El betimen ketti, ie joq... Múnday masqara búryn-sondy bolmaghan... Jetpiske keldim ghoy, halyqqa osynday qiyanat jasalady dep kýtpep edik, - dedi ústazym tyghyryqqa tirelgen sharasyz ýnmen.

Sabyr agha Qasymov maqala turaly alysta, enbek demalysynda jýrip oqyghan elden estipti. Solar birinen song biri habarlasyp, jik-japar bolyp densaulyghyn súraghan, ayaushylyq bildir­gen.

- Áy, Tәke, mening auruymdy jazbay-aq qoyyng kerek edi...

Ne derimdi bilmey tosylyp qaldym. Syrqat ekenin jasyrmay, sóz arasynda qystyra ketip edim. Ondaghy oiym: "Aurudyng azabyn arqalap jýrgen azamat tәuelsizdigimiz­ge, egemendi­gimiz­ge qater tónip túrghanyna shyday almay shyr­qyrap jatyr, al on eki mýshesi sap-sau, arystay azamattar - senderding býgejektep, bastaryndy búttarynnyng arasyna jasyrghandaryna jón bolsyn? Ar-namys qayda? Elden úyalmaysyndar ma?" dep qamshylap, shamdaryna tieyin, bәlkim, ýdere ýn qatar, órshelene qarsylyq kórseter degen dәmem zor edi. Sóitsem... IYә, sóit­sem qazaqtarym, qandas, qimas bauyrlarym elimizding derbestigi ýshin bilek sybana kýresedi, qúlshyna qarsylyq kórse­tedi degen oiym beker eken. Azamattyq ústanymyna senetin, últshyldyghy myqty, beldi bir basylymnyng basshysy bolyp jýrgen tәuir jigitte­rimning biri kabiynetining esigin attay bergenimde: "O, bizding tә­uel­siz­digimizge kýmәndana qaraytyn kókem keldi!" - dep qaghyta qarsy aldy...

Mine, kerek bolsa!..

Taghy bir aqyn agham tele­fon­gha shaqyrdy. Amandyq-sau­lyqtan keyin: "Aynalayyn Talghat, sen qalamyndy qattylau siltedin. Abaylasayshy. Sayasat degen qatty sózben emes, aqyryn, abaymen jasalady", - deydi. Lebizine zeyin qoysam, beker jazyppyn...

Qayran, kókeler! Neng bar edi, nege týk kórmegen, týk bilmegen keyipte tympiyp jýre bermeysin?.. Jaqsy sóile, jylpyldap, óz tirshi­ligin­di jasa... Ózgelerge qarasanshy, olar nege ashynyp ait­paydy, ishindegisin sezdir­mey­di, shetinen aqyldy... IYә-iyә, múndayda erekshe ústamdylyq tanytyp, bireuler eldik namys, últtyng úyaty, miyat-múraty ýshin jazyqsyz jazalanyp, japa shegip jatsa da, bey-jaylyq pighyldan ainy­mau­dy jón kóretin, solay bol­ghanyn asqan aqyldylyq sanaytyndar kóp, óte kóp. Sonday týsinik-pighyldaghy bir aghamyz ýige keldi. Ádeyilep kelgen sharuasyn tyndyryp bolghan son:

- Inim, qazirgi aitsam ba degen sózimdi auyrlamaytyn shygharsyn? - dedi betime barlay kóz salyp. - "Jas Alashtaghy" әnebir kýngi maqalana baylanysty...

- Oi, agha, aqylyma aqyl qosatyn әserli sóziniz bolsa, nege auyrlayyn? Kidirmey aita beriniz.

- Aytsam, auylgha bayla­nys­ty jerinde men sekildi­lerdi de ondyrmay týirep ótipsin. Alayda kolhoz, sovhoz basqarghan bәrimiz birdey sharuashylyqtyng baylyghyn bas-kóz demey bólip alghan joqpyz. Biz sekildi on bes-jiyrma jyl, tipti odan da kóp basqarghandargha újymdyq menshikting bir bóligin bólip beru turaly KSRO Ministrler Kenesining arnayy qaulysy shyqqan. Sol boyynsha tiyesili ýlesimizdi aldyq. Keyin payymyzgha say jer iyelendik. Elding eshqaysysyn ókpeletpeuge tyrystyq...

Onyng bәrin qoyshy, - dedi sodan keyin. - Negizgi aitatyn әngimeme kósheyin: óte auyr mәseleni eshkimnen iymenbey, beting bar, jýzing bar demey tilip jazdyn. Kózsiz batyrlyq ta kerek shyghar, biraq myna úl-qyzdaryndy ayasanshy... Tipti, ózindi de ondyrmaydy ghoy, ondaydyng bәrin kórip, sezip jýrsin...

- Agha, sózinizding bәri jón, - dep kiyip kettim. - Maghan da, bala-shaghama da janynyz ashyghannan aitqanynyzdy óte jaqsy týsinemin. Áytkenmen sizge qoyar súraghym bar: hal­qynyzgha, qazaghynyzgha, onyng býgingi teperish kórip, qaghaju kýy keshken qiyn taghdyryna qabyrghanyz qayysa ma?

- Endi oilaymyz ghoy... Biraq men ózim...

- Siz ózinizdi ghana, men ózimdi ghana qaperge almay - eldi, jerdi, bәri-bәrining basyn biriktiretin Otan degen qasiyetti, alyp shanyraghymyzdy oilauy­myz, oilap qana qoymay, әlimiz­ding jetkeninshe, sózimizding ótkeninshe qayrat-kýsh kór­setip kýre­suimiz, qor­ghauymyz kerek emes pe?! Aytynyzshy ashyghyn, osy, sizge Qazaq elining tәuel­sizdigi kerek pe?

- Oghan sóz bar ma, inim-au?!

- Endeshe meni ish tartyp, bala-shaghamnyng aman-esen­digine qaraday qinalyp aitqan әlgi sózinizge raqmet! Biraq siz Qazaqstannyng memleket­tigine, el­digine, tәuelsizdigine qauip tóndi, qaytadan orys imperiyasynyng bodandyghyna basymyzdy óz yqtiyarymyzben baylap beruge birjola be­kindik. Oghan kón­giniz kelmey­tininiz ras bolsa, úrpaqtarynyzdyng qarghysyna qalmayyn deseniz, bәrimiz órshelene ýn qatayyq, qarsylyq jasayyq dep jazdyq. Solay aitqan Qasymovty qaqpaylap, meni shegin­dirginiz, ýnimdi bәseyt­kiniz keledi... Áytkenmen jalghyzbyn dep qysylmanyz, sebebi sizge úqsaghandar az emes. Solardyng qatarynyng kóptigine kýiinip, yryqsyz shyqqan yzaly saualymdy ózinizge tótelep qoyayyn, siz abyroy, arynyzgha jýginip jauap beriniz. Dәl osy saualymdy siz arqyly basyna bó­rik, bútyna shalbar kiygen er azamattardyng bәrine baghyshtaymyn:

- Agha, shyr etip jaryq-jalghangha kelgeninizde aq sýtin emizgen ananyz qal­ja jedi me?

- Endi... Qay ana aman-esen bosanyp, ayaq-qolyn bauyryna jighanyna quanbaydy?.. Qay әke qoyyn soyyp, aghayyn-tuys, dos-jarandarynyng basyn qospaydy?..

- Qaranyzshy, úl taptym dep ananyz quanypty. Al әkeniz at baylar úlym kel­di, ol abyroy-ataghymdy shygharatyn azamat bolady, eline qorghan, halqyna qamqor bolady depti. Sizge basqalar da bar jaqsylyqty tiledi. Er­tengi taya­nysh-tiregimiz dep ýmit etti. Endi sol ýmit pen senim qayda? Býgin kim boldynyz, bala-shaghanyzgha kimmin deysiz? Olardan ne kýtesiz?.. Mynaday iysi qa­zaqqa, namysy bar azamat ataulygha synaq sә­ti tughanda nege qyzynbaysyz? Nege ashynyp, ýn qatpaysyz? Árbirden son, siz siyaqtylargha qolyna qaru al, maydan ashyp, úran sal deuden aulaqpyz. Tipti on­daydyng zamany da emes! Sizding sózi­nizdi qoldaytyn, tәuelsiz el bolu niyetinizdi qoshtaytyn halyqaralyq qúqyqtyq jýie bar. Sondyqtan ya bodandyqqa peyi­lmiz, ya bolmasa bizge qasiyet­ti qazaq elining tәuelsizdigi qymbat, biz syrtymyzdan ton piship, taghdyrymyzdy sheshkenge eshqashan kelispeymiz, qarsymyz, oghan balalarymyz da kónbeydi degen oiynyzdy ashyqtan-ashyq aitatyn uaqyt qoy qazir. Gazetke jazynyz, kóshege shyghyp aitynyz; júrt jinalatyn jerge ayaghynyz jetpese, balkongha shyghyp, aulanyzda moynynyzdy kóshege sozyp túryp jet­kiziniz. Ózi, solay etuge shama-sharqynyz kele me? - dep baryp bir-aq kidir­dim. Janashyr kókem terlep-tepshidi. Bayqauymsha, onday sózdi kýtpegen. Bir­dene degisi keldi, әitkenmen aita almady. Áyteuir esikten shyghyp bara jatyp, qolyn iy­ghynan asyra kóterip, tór bólmedegi balalarymdy bas barmaghymen qayta-qayta nús­qay kórsetip, "analardy, analardy" de­di, estiler-estilmes ýn­men. Arghy jaghynda "aya, solargha kesir bolyp jýr­mesin" degen sózi aitylmay qaldy-au dep týi­dim...

Mine, kýni keshe sharuashylyq bas­qarghan, oqyghan-toqyghan, elge janym ashidy deytin kókiregi oyau atpal azamattyng tirligi, oi-pighyly. Sonda qalay, men de bala-shagham, basqa jaghdayymdy syltau etip, әreketsiz qol qusy­ruym nemese kóptegen qalam ústaghan әrip­tes­terim se­kildi túnshyghyp, qúmy­ghuym kerek pe? Olar elbasyn maqtaydy, tipti, M.Joldasbekov siyaqty akademik aghalarymyz Núreken­di "armanymyzdan jaralghan", "Qúdaydyng kindiginen jaratylghan" degendi de aitady. Mayyn tamyza maqtaghanda, auzyndy asha­syn, kózindi júmasyn... Júmasyna bes ret jaryq kóretin ýlken ga­zetting býkil betin solay toltyrugha yqylasty jurnalist, sayasatker, ghalymdar da, óner qayrat­kerleri de kóp-aq.

"Han erikse, qara halyq hannyng oiyn­shyghy bolady". Biylik eldi el demese, halyqtyng mýddesimen sanaspay, kereghar sheshim­der jasasa, oiynshyqqa ainaldyrdy degen osy bolar, әste. Bizdi oqyghany kem, sauaty tómen maubas qauym dep bildi me, Núrekeng barsha halyqtyng kózin baqyraytyp qoyyp, aiday әlemning aldynda "shekarasy joq el edik" dedi. San ghasyrlyq tarihy, taghdyry bar memleketting negizin ózinen ghana bastaghysy keldi. Sol uaqytta tarihshy ghalymdarymyz ýnsiz qaldy; tarihy taqyrypqa qalam siltep, ilgeri-keyingi oqyrmandarynyng razylyghyna bólengen qa­lam qayratkerleri mýlde esti­megen synay tanytty. Sayasatker Jasaral Qu­anysh­әli ghana shiryghyp, "Nazarbaev halqymyzdyng tarihyna qiyanat jasady, sol ýshin zang aldynda jauap bersin!" dep shyqty. Ol batyl әreketi ózine pәle bolyp jabysty. Medeu audandyq soty ony "Preziydentting ar-namysyna núqsan keltirdi" degen bappen jauapqa tartty. Sotta Jasaraldy aqtap sóilegen azamattardyn, mysaly, jazushy Ghabbas Qabyshúlynyng sózin sot qaperine almay, "ayyptyny" eki jylgha shartty týrde bas bostandyghynan aiyrugha ýkim shyghardy.

Kedendik odaq kesirli, kesepatty odaq ekenin, Euraziyalyq odaqtyng týptep kelgen­degi aparar týiini - Qazaqstandy tә­uelsizdiginen bir­jola aiyratyn sayasy oiyn ekenin bile túra, býgejektegen "halyq qalaulylary", әigili akademiyk-ghalymdar, "halyq jazushylary", "aytuly túlghalar", halqymyzdyng "jaqsy men jaysandary" silekeylerine shashalyp, jep-jútqandary tamaqtaryna keptelip qalghanday... Osy jerde birde-birin qaldyrmay tizimdep, aty-jónderin jalpaq júrtqa jaysa, obaly joq siyaqty! Átten, arttarynan ilesken úrpaqtary - nemere-shóberele­rin ayaysyn. Kýni erteng el tәuelsizdigi qaqpa­qyl­gha týskende, kimning kim ekenin kórse­tetin qyspaqty shaqta ardaqty atalarynyng selt etpegenin bilse, ne deydi?.. Múndayda ýnsiz qaludyng ózi - sol sayasatty qúptau, quattau degen sóz! Demek, onday mýlәiim týr tanytqandargha Qazaqstannyng Reseyding qol astynda jýrgeninen kelip-keter, ýrey eter dә­nene de joq. Áriyne, osydan keyin qay-qaysysynyng da dәl sonday soraqy keyip kórsetkenderine kýiine­sin, týnilesin...

Mine, sol myrzalardyng bәri Alash tuyn kóterip, jel­biretken ayauly arystarymyz qylausyz kónil­men sengen, ýkili ýmitin artqan keleshek úrpaqtary emes pe edi?!

Arystanday aibatty,

Jolbarystay qayratty

Men jastargha senemin! -

dep jyrlady-au Maghjan aqyn.

Dәl osynday oidy qasiyetti qazaq jerinen jyraqta, Europada jýr­gen Mústafa Shoqay da qaytalady. Anttarynan, alghan baghyttarynan ainymady. Qazaq halqy osy qasiyeti ayauly arystarymyzdyng osy qasiyeti úrpaqqa úran, óshpes ónege bolu kerek-ti. Alayda sol agha­larymyz ne ýshin bastaryn qauip-qaterge tigip, qughyn-sýrginning qúrbany bolyp edi dep oy sýzgisine salatyndardyng azdyghyn sezin­gen sayyn, jýreging shanshyp, keudendi ashy óksik qysady... Birtýrli ókingendey ayanysh sezimi janyndy janshyp, ji­gerin­di qúm etedi, ezgi­leydi... "Qayran, aghalarym-ay! - deysing eriksiz. - "Tizerlep túryp ómir sýrgenshe, tik túryp ólgen artyq" degen ata-babalarymyzdyng ósiyetine qylau týsirmegen arystarymyz-ay, últ aldyndaghy ten­dessiz erlikterindi úghatyn úrpaqtarynnyng azyp-tozghan býgingi beyshara beyne­sin kórmey ketkendering qanday jaqsy boldy... Áytpese, iyә, әitpese "Qiy­dy qozghasan, iysi shyghady" demekshi, "Oyan, Qazaq!" dep halqyn qoiy úiqydan oyata almay ótken Mir­jaqyp Dulatovtyng aruaghynan iymenbey, "Oyanba, qazaq, oyanba!" dep әreket etuden bir tanbay kele jatqan әkimder men rektorlardyn, polisiya basshylary men sot, prokurorlardyn, tergeushi­ler­ding bedireygen, qu, ailaly bet­terin kórer edinder. Qazaqtyng bodandyqtan qútyl­ghan tәuelsiz el boluy ýshin kýresken Alash arystarynyng sengen jastary arasynda onday-ondaylar jetip-artylady. Mine, sol myrzalar Jeltoqsan kóterilisi atalyp óter kýnder tayaghannan bezek qaghyp, janúshyra jantalasqa týsedi. Studentterdi oqudan bosatady, auyldaryna jibe­redi, al ketkisi kelme­gen­derdi: "Alangha barsandar, oqudan quylasyndar!" - dep qorqytyp-ýrki­tedi. Janaózen qyrghyny, sonday-aq jylda atalyp ótetin qughyn-sýrgin qúr­ban­daryn eske alatyn mitingi, jiyndargha qatystyrmaudyng bar amal-aylasyn solaysha ekijýz­dilikpen sheber atqarady. Polisiya bolsa, asa bel­sen­dilik tanytyp, erekshe kózge týs­kende­rin shetinen bassalyp ústap, sotqa sýi­reley jóne­ledi. Sot, prokurorlar әl­gin­­dey basqosulargha endi qaytip bettemestey qylyp, jazalaugha qúlshyna kirisedi.

Olargha keregi - qyzmet...

Olardyng bar oilaytyny - halyqtyng sayasy belsen­diliginen ólerdey qorqatyn býgingi biylikting nazaryna týs­peu, qaytkende de ózderining olargha aq-adal ekendikterin jarysa kórsetip qalu...

Sol shirkinder sóiley qalsa, eki sózderining biri "Elbasynyng sara sayasaty" bolyp keledi. "Kóre­gendigin" aitady, "kósem­digine" tamsanady. Oq atylyp, bomba jarylmay-aq tәuelsizdigi­miz­ding irge­si diril­dep, qiiy qashqanyn bile túra... iyә-iyә, ol jóninde dәne­ne dey almaydy. Búl da, shyntuaytyna kelgende, satqyndyqtyng bir kórinisi emes pe? Biz býgin anadan úl bop tuyp, alayda keshegi ótken erjýrek babalarynyng qasiye­tin boylarynan ýrkitip, qyzmetqúmar, shenshil, ataqshyl, úl-qyzdary, nemere-shóberelerining "kemel kele­shegin oilaghysh", jaghympaz, jaltaq, jasyq bolyp maydalanyp, shýre­geylenip ketken sonday úrpaqtarynyz ýshin, amal joq, kishireyemiz... Aruaqtarynyzgha basymyzdy iyip, keshirim súray otyryp:

- Alash tuyn jelbiret­ken ayauly aghalar, keshire alsanyzdar, keshire kó­riniz­der!.. - deymiz.

Talghat  Aytbayúly,

publisist-jazushy

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