Jazushygha kedeylik jarasa ma?
Tayauda bir jas jazushy kitabynyng túsaukeserine bardym. Keshigip jetip, artqy oryndyqqa jayghasa salghan maghan zaldyng ishi, jinalghan adamdar alaqandaghyday kórinip túrghan edi.
Bir sәtte sau etip syrttan men sekildi keshigip jýretin bes-alty jigit kirip keldi. Biri telearnada, biri gazette, endi biri aqparattyq saytta júmys isteytinder eken. Aralarynda әdebiyetten auyly alys bir jan joq. Biri – aqyn, endi biri – jazushy. Otyrghandar jana kelgendermen sәlemdesip, qúrmet kórsetip, yghysyp oryn berip jatyr. Bәri izetti. Ózderinshe erekshe amandasady.
Ylghy bir tektes adamdardy kórip otyrghan song ba, jýrgizushining sózi «ay dalagha úshyp», nazarym ainalama aua berdi. IYә, zalda jinalghandar kileng aqyndar men jazushylar, arasynda drama jazyp jýrgender de bar, bәlkim. Birden angharylatyny, bәrining kiyimi júpyny. Kostumderi tozyp ketken, jadaghay kiyinedi, ónderi solghyn. Biraq sonda da ózin-ózi ústaghanyna, әngimelerine qarasan, kónilderi toq. Ásirese, kitaby jaryq kórip, bolmasa jaqsy shygharmalar jazyp, qalamynyng arqasynda quanyshqa kenelip jýrgenderi…
Jol boyy oilanyp qayttym. Nege jazushylardyng kóbi kedey? Nege olar sonda da ózin qor sanamaydy? Nege olar baylyqqa úmtylmaydy? Nege shyrttay kiyinip, jasanyp jýrsem degen nәrse olardyng oiyna kirip-shyqpaydy?
Álde túrmys tarshylyghyn kóp kórgen song ózin shygharmashylyqpen aldausyratyp, jazugha bet búryp ketti me eken?
Bәlkim, keybir mamandyqtar sekildi jazushylar tirek etken kәsip te «eskirip» ketken shyghar? Jaqsy tabys tauyp, baquatty ómir sýruine mýmkindik beretin júmys oryndary qalamgerlerdi qajet etpeytin bolar?
Álde olar ruhany toqtyqty, jan-dýnie baylyghyn, jýrek tynyshtyghyn ghana oilap, materialdyq jaghynan tolysudy ózderi múrat sanamay ma eken? Olar, bәlkim, jazushygha kedeylik jarasady dep oilaytyn bolar? IYә, ol da mýmkin. Britaniya jazushysy Bernard Shoudyng da: «Avtor óz kliyentterimen óte siyrek kezdesetin bolghandyqtan, oghan jaqsy kiyinip jýru qajet etilmeytindikten, men әdebiyetshi boldym» degeni bar emes pe?..
Alayda sen jazushy bolghanmen, balalaryng jazushy emes qoy. Sen qanaghat qylghanmen, otbasyn, bala-shaghang qanaghat qylmaydy ghoy. Sen tarshylyqta da ózindi baqytty sezingenmen, balalaryng ózin baqytty sezine ala ma?..
Osylay oilauym múng eken, keudemdi pendeshilik atty bir it tyrnalap jatqanday kýy keshtim.
Bargha da, joqqa da qanaghat qylyp, ózin baqytty sanap jýrgen jazushylardyng bala-shaghasynyng aldynda óz-ózin kinәli sanap, tausylyp otyrghany kóz aldyma keldi…
Biraq keyde kisi bay-baquatty bolyp ta quanyp jýre almauy mýmkin. Qayta dýnie bitken sayyn adamnyng elen-alany kóbeye týse me dersin. Al kerisinshe, kedeyding quanarlyq mýmkindigi kóp. Óitkeni «kedeyding bir toyghany – shala bayyghany» emes pe…
Adamdy ataq-abyroyly, mansapty, dәuletti bolugha úmtylmaghany ýshin, bay bolmaghany ýshin jalqau dep te, tirlikke qyrsyz dep te kinәlaugha bolady. Biraq, adamnyng ómirlik múraty baqytqa jetu bolsa, onysy baylyqqa baylanysty emes qoy.
IYә, baqyt baylyqta emes. Baqyt – kónilinde qanaghaty bargha ghana túraqtaytyn qonaq.
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