«Bizding kezdegi dinozavrlar qanday edi! Shirkin!»

Alghy sóz

Mening eshkimdi (ónegeli) tәrbiyeleyin degen oiym joq. Kýndelikti ómirde ózimning kórip, sezinip jýrgen dýniyelerdi, sipattap berushi adammyn. Búl әngimede qoghamda bayqaghan keybir mәselelerdi sipattadym. Qorytyndysyn shygharu, ne shygharmau ózinizding qolynyzda.

Adamzat balasy jazghan әdebiyet tarihyn qarap otyrsaq, Aristoteli bizding zamanymyzdan búryn ómir sýrip, qozghaghan taqyryptyng bәrin qazirgining jazushylary әli qozghap kele jatyr. Demek, adamzat balasynyng tastan jasalghan qúraldary nanotehnologiya dәrejesine sheyin damyp, qoghamnyn, әrqaysymyzdyng jeke damuymyz tehnologiyanyng damuynan artta qalghan.

Qanshama ghasyrlyq damu tarihy bar adamzat qauymy әli de birin-biri kóre almay, bir-birine qastyq jasap, qasyndaghy adamdy ayaghynan shaluda.

Mening ishki ghalymdarymnyng aituy boyynsha, búnyng negizgi sebebi – ol otbasy mәselesi. Ákesi ómir boyy tәjiriybe jinap, bilimin tolyqtyrghanymen, balasy taza paraq kýiinde dýniyege keledi. Demek, adamzat qoghamy, qazaq qoghamy damu ýshin, otbasy tatu boluy kerek. Óitkeni tәjiriybeni, bilimdi atadan balagha jetkizu – basty qiyndyq. Árbir pedagog ata-ana bolmauy mýmkin, biraq әrbir ata-ana pedagog boluy tiyis.

Árbir balanyng bilim, adamgershilik jaghynan myqty boluy – ol mekteptin, qoghamnyng mindeti emes, әrbir әkenin, ananyng mindeti. Myqty bala ózi әke nemese ana bolghan kezde, kelesi úrpaqty odan beter myqty qylyp tәrbiyeley alady.

Kim biledi? Bәlkim, qazaq qoghamy sonday jaqsy dәrejege jetip, qalghan әlem qoghamdaryna meyirimdilik, әdilettilik, adamgershilik negizinde damyghan qoghamnyng ýlgisine ainalar. Ol bizding qolymyzda.

Jazylghan әngimening sizge únauyna, әri paydaly boluyna tilektespin.

Ángime sonynda kóriskenshe!

Tórehan Usembaev – avtor

«Eger balang Bart Simpson siyaqty bolmasyng desen, ózing Gomer Simpson sekildi bolma»

- Mett Greyning – «Simpsondar» mulithikayasynyng avtory

Zamannyng dinozavrlary

Anyzaq ystyq, jazdyng qapyryq kýnderinde tabighat ózin sergitu ýshin, tolassyz, birneshe kýn toqtamay jauatyn janbyr syilaytyn kezender bolady. 2020 jyldaghy mausym aiynyng 4 júldyzy sonday kýnderding ayaghyna týsken eken. Nóser janbyr qúiyp túrmaghan bolsa da, janbyr әli de sirkirep túr. Biraq ertengisin búlttar seyilip, kóshening oily jerlerinde, aina sekildi jyltyrap jatatyn, kishkene shalshyqtar ghana qalyp, bolghan 3-4 kýngi janbyrdyng izi de qalmaytynday.

24 jas shamasyndaghy Ermek esimdi jigit atasymen birge túratyn 4 bólmeli pәter ornalasqan podezding aldyna keshkisin kelip, ýiine kirmesten búryn, petrikor iyisin ókpesine toltyra almay, tereng demalyp túrdy.

Taghdyrdyng bar ekendigine key adam senedi, al key adamdar senbeydi. Degenmen de, keybir kezderi trilliondaghan boluy mýmkin oqighalardyng ishinen dәl sol jaghdaydyng bola qaluy, ghalamsharlyq siqyrshynyng qúityrqy josparynday. Sonday jospardyng bir bóligi retinde, Ermek podezd esigining aldynda túrghan sәtte, sirkirep túrghan janbyr tamshylarynyng erikti qúrbany bolyp, taksy kóligi toqtady. Ol taksiyding ishinen kez-kelgen adam shyghuy mýmkin edi: bireuge kelgen qonaq nemese tanys emes myndaghan kórshilerding biri. Biraq taksiyding artqy esigi ashylghanda, ishinen ózining basyn aspannan týsip jatqan kishkene bombylar sekildi janbyr tamshylarynan djinsydan jasalghan kýrtesimen qorghap, Emir týsip kele jatty. Arghy jaqtaghy esikten basyn qolyndaghy kishkentay sómkesimen jauyp, Asalya podezd esigining aldynda bolatyn shatyrdyng astyna qaray jýgirip  kelip:

– O! Ermek, salem, - dep, ýstindegi janbyr tamshylaryn qaghyp, amandasty.

Emir de, Asalya da eshqanday arabtar emes edi. Olardy biz qazaq ateisteri desek te jarasady. Esimderining Emir jәne Asalya bolularynyng sebebi, ekeuining ata-anasy qazaq esimderining arabtandyryluynyng qúrbany bolghandyqtary. Ermek osy kisilerding qúrdasy bolsa da, búnday tolqyn Ermekting ata-anasyn ainala ketip, Ermekke Ermek degen esim búiyrypty.

Asalya esik aldyndaghy kishkene shatyrgha jýgirip kelgen bolsa, Emir taksiyding artynan ýlken-ýlken shamodandardy alyp shyghyp jatty. Ermek tek qana atasymen túrghandyqtan, oghan ýnemi kómektesip jýretin. Sodan Ermekte bireu birnәrse istep jatsa, jedel baryp kómektesu refleksi, әdeti qalyptasqan. Basqa bir adam bolsa, bireu kómek súrasa da, birden barmaytyn. Ermek esh oilanbastan, esik aldyndaghy shatyrshanyng qúrghaqtyq aralynan, janbyr múhityna jýgire sýngip, Emir shygharyp qoyghan shomandardardy birge tasysa ketti. Barlyq shamodandardy shatyrsha astyna tasyp bitirgennen keyin, Ermek adamdardy podezd esigine kirgizip, ózi kishkene túra-túramyn ba degen edi, biraq Asalya:

– Ermek, a ty chto zdesi stoishi? – dep, Emir podezd esigin ashyp jatqanda, súraq qoydy.

– Jәy túrghanym ghoy. Janbyrdyng iyisi tamasha eken. Sony demalyp, - degen Ermekting jauaby estildi.

Arghy jaghynda Emir ne shamodandardy ústaryn bilmey, ne podezd esigin ústaryn bilmey, kózin alartyp, ne kómektespeysing degendey, Asalyagha qarap túrdy. Ony kórgen Ermektin, Emirge kómektespesten basqa amaly qalmady. Solay boyynda kýshi tasyp túrghan eki jas jigit, birge shamodandardy liftten Emir men Asalya túratyn pәterding esigining aldyna aparyp qoyyp, qoshtasayyn dep túrghan sәtinde Emiyr:

– Ermek, kop rahmet sagan! Poydem chay popiem, - dedi.

Ermek bireuding ýiinde qonaqtatudy mýldem únatpaytyn. Biraq Asalya jalynyp qoymaghandyqtan, ýsheui Emir men Asalya meken etetin pәterge kirdi. Pәterge kirgen bette Emir bar dauysymen:

– Ata! Vy doma? – dep pәterde janghyrtyp aiqaylady, - Biz keldiyk.

Týpkileu bólmeden ayaghyn aqsandatyp, bir qolymen qymbat aghashtan jasalghan tayaghyna sýienip, qart kisi kele jatty. Nemeresi men kelinin kórip quanghan ata, oisha balalaryn qúshaqtap, betterin sýiip jatsa da, jasy toqsannan asqandyqtan, denesi ol oiyn sәl keshirek jýzege asyrdy. Atasy Ermekti kórip:

– Á, Ermek! Haling qalay, shyraghym? Atannyng kýsh-quaty qalay?

– Jaqsy, ata. Óziniz qalaysyz? Densaulyghynyz jaqsy ma? – dep jauap qaytardy.

– Shýkir dep, ómir sýrip jatqan jayymyz bar. Kirinder ýige. Shәy ishinder. Men de sendermen kishkene otyryp shәy isheyin. Ýide ózim jalghyz otyryp, zerigip kettim. Kelgendering jaqsy boldy.

Emir - 1990 jyldardaghy bolyp jatqan ala sapyrandy, eldegi haosty oryndy paydalanyp, reketterding apanyna týspey, kәsippen ainalysa ketken júbayylardyng eng kishi balasy. Sodan keyin jas jigitting ata-anasy paydany qualap, múnay kәsibimen ainalysugha niyettendi. Biraq múnay kәsibindegi alpauyt kýshterding qarqynyna tótep bere almaytyndyqtaryn týsingendikten, bar jighan-tergenderin әrtýrli shaghyn kәsipte salyp, qazir sonyng paydasyn kórip otyrghan, ortasha baylar qatarynan.

Kenes ýkimeti kezeninde bay adamdar bolmaghan, molshylyq ta bolmaghan: eshkim bay da emes, kedey de emes. Emirding ata-anasynyng aldynda baylyqtyng ne ekendigin biletin buyn bolmaghandyqtar, ol kisiler sol uaqyttaghy eng alghashqy baylardyng әdetimen ýilerin ortaghasyrlyq patshalardyng sarayynday әrlegen: altyn jalatylghan ydystar, tútqalar, Barokko stiylindegi jihaz, týsqaghazdar, kózge qatty ilinetin kiyinu ýlgisi.

Auqatty ata-ana songhy kezderi shet elge kóp shyghyp, ol jaqtaghy kapitalizmdi birneshe ghasyrlar boyy basynan ótkerip kele jatqan, shynayy baylardyng qalay ómir sýretinin kórip, sәl de bolsyn, ózderining qylyqtaryn, әdetterin ózgerte bastaghanday. Ol әriyne pәterding kelbetine de әser etti. Pәterleri 4 bólmeli, óte jaqsy óndelgen, týsqaghazdary artyq órneksiz biraq sapaly, jihazdary qymbat aghashtan jasalghan, qabyrghada suretshiler salghan suretteri bar, elektrondy qúraldardyng bәri songhy núsqadaghy tamasha meken. Jihazdary eski stilide bolghanymen, ýilerinde robot shansorghyshtary jәne taghy da basqa elektrondy qúraldary әrtýrli qyzmetti atqaryp, pәterleri tarih pen bolashaq úshtasatyn oryn sekildi.

Asalya bolatyn bolsa, óte súlu, әrdayym әtir seuip jýretin, ózining ynghayyn(komfort) óte qatty baghalaytyn qyzdardyng biri. Emirmen osy oqighadan ýsh-tórt jyl búryn shet elde tanysqan. Shet elge bir jigitpen baryp, sosyn sol jaqta jigitimen úryssyp, ózi jalghyz qalyp qoyghan sәtte, Emir shygha kelip, әngimeleri jarasyp, sodan beri júptary jazylmaghan.

Asalyanyng ómir bayanyna terenirek ýniletin bolsaq, ol – tek qana anasynyng tәrbiyesimen ósken jas qyz. Ákesi, Asalya tuylmay túryp, otbasyn tastap ketken.

Bala kezinen bastap anasy bar jighan tergenin tek qana Asalyagha júmsap, qymbat zattardy ghana alyp berip ósirgen. Jaghdaylary mәz bolmasa da, qaryz alyp, Asalyagha baryn ayamaghan. Sodan Asalya, ózi oghan layyqty bolmasa da, jaghdayy jetpese de, adamzat balasynyng barlyq eng ozyq jetistikterin paydalanugha daghdylanghan.

Tórt adam bolyp, bәri as ýige ótti. Ermekti qonaq retinde tórge shyghardy, onyng janyna qart kisi otyrdy, atagha qarama-qarsy Emir otyrdy. Asalya bolsa shәiding qamyn jasap jýrip, toqtausyz әngimesin aityp jatty:

– Na etot raz my sezdily v Tursii. Po-moemu my tam uje byly okolo semiy-vosimy raz. Na etot raz nam tak tam ne ponravilosi. V gostiniyse v sosednem nomere rasmestilisi kakiye-to vanuchie ludi. Poprosily pereseliti nas. Nomerov svobodnyh ne okazalosi. Prishlosi so vsemy veshamy v druguy gostinisu pereti. Luchshe v sleduishiy raz sezditi na Bali. Skajy je, jan? -  ózining júbayyn «jan» dep atau osynday qyzdardyng әdeti, - Luchshe by my kuda-to v Evropu sezdili. Takaya rastroennaya priyehala. Eshe pogoda plohaya byla. Ny pokupatisya, ny pozagarati. Dumala, poskoree by etot ad zakonchilsya. A ty chto ne puteshestvueshi, Ermek? Sezdil by hotya by v Dubay.

Ermek ishinen, mynanyng mende nesi bar dep:

– Júmys kóp qoy. Atagha qaraylasu kerek, - Asalya «qaraylasu» degen sózdi týsinbegendikten, - nado za dedushkoy prismatrivati, - dep qysqa jauap berdi.

– A pochemu ty dedushku s soboy ne vozimeshi?

– Atada davleniye. Samolette otyra almaydy. Poezdben Dubaygha baru qiyndau.

– Eto vse opravdaniya. Tak jizni proletiyt. Jizni u nas odna. Nado maksimalino naslajdatisya. Vtoroy raz ty ne rodishisya. A to vse hodyat – rabota, da rabota. A chto rabota? Kto vse vremya rabotaet,  u togo net vozmojnosty zarabotati normalinye denigi. Nado rabotati mozgami, y togda smojeshi jiti v svoe udovolistviye. Skajy je, jan?

Emir estimegendey otyra berdi.

Ermek pen Asalya bir-birin eshqashan týsine almaushy edi. Ekeui әrtýrli planetadan emes, әrtýrli ghalamshardan kelgendey. Ermek atasymen eshqayda barmay-aq, eshnәrseni almay-aq, pәterlerinde óz baqyttary ózderining ishinde bolyp, eshqanday artyq zatty kerek etpey, ómir sýretin bolsa, Asalyagha әrdayym birnәrse jetispey túrady.

– Qamystyózekti kórgen adamgha, London degen, Parij degen nemene! - dep, Ermek әzilmen jauap berdi.

Qamystyózek degen – Ermekting atasy tuyp-ósken auyl. Jylyna bir-eki ret atasyn alyp baryp túrady. Biraq songhy kezderi sol auyldyng qart adamdary birinen song biri qaytys bolyp, auylgha jii baratyn bolyp ketti.

– Kamysty tam chto? Eto auyl, da? Kak ya ponyala?

– IYә, iyә. Atamnyng auyly ghoy. London, Parijderine baryp ne qylamyn. Ádemi kóshelerin kórgennen ne payda, ony bәribir ózinmen alyp kete almaysyn. Adamdary – adam, inoplanetyan emes. Odan qayta olar bizge kelsin, - dedi Ermek.

Emirding atasy, aldynda kirise almay otyrghan әngime barysyna, ózine tanys jerding atyn estip:

– Eeee, búryndary sol Qamystyózekke baryp túratyn edik, jaryqtyq. Ózeni qanday! Balyqtary qanday edi sol zamannyn! Men Qamystyózekke kórshi sobhozda túrghanmyn jas kezimde. Búryn bәri jaqsy edi ghoy. Taza aua, qúrt, sýt, airan. Sheshey, marqúmnyn, qúrttaryn jep, jýgirip jýrushi edik, - dedi.

Asalyanyng jauaby ózin úzaq kýttirmedi. Tipti, atamyzdyng aitqan sózin esh elemey:

– Pochemu ty tak govorishi? Tam sivilizasiya, - Ermek ishinen «Mynau maghan nege atyla shapty? Men búnyng anasyn balaghattaghanday. Jәy ghana qazir shet elge shyghudy josparlap jýrgen joqpyn degen siyaqty edim» dep, - Tam vse dlya ludey sdelano. Dorogy horoshiye. Mest ocheni mnogo, gde mojno poluchiti ocheni yarkie vpechatleniya. Kakaya tam kuhnya raznoobraznaya, u nas odin toliko besh, zaparilas uje kushati ego. My je rady yarkih momentov jiyvem! Inache dlya chego jiti? A tut chto? Vezde mambety. Dorogi, kak budto meteority padait suda vechno. Odin toliko negatiyv. Varuiyt, ubivait, kradut. Eto, chto za kolhoz, kogda devushku kradut y zamuj vydayt? My v kakom veke jiyvem? Vezde toksiki, abiuzery. My s Emirom planiruem pereehati otsuda kak mojno skoree, potomu chto tut normalino jiti ne-voz-moj-no! Da, jan? – Emir basyn iyzedi, - Navernoe yug Fransii, Italiy ily Ispanii. Ya hochu, gde more, gde solnse. Nado rodiyteley ubediti, chtoby my poskoree pereehaliy.

Emirding ata-anasy balalaryn Týrkiyagha jýberip, ózderi Taylandqa ketken bolatyn. Úshaqtary keshigip, bir kýn sol jaqta kidirip qalghan.

Ermek jauap bermegendikten, búl taqyryp tónireginde әngime әri qaray órbimey, endi janyp kele jatqan otqa su sepken sekildi, basylyp qaldy.

Emiyr, Ermek jәne qart kisi ózderining әngimelerin aita bastady. Asalya as ýide әri-beri jýrip, birnәrselerin istep jatty. Kóp jaghdayda adamdardyng ortasynda әngime qyza almay túrady. Qatysushy adamdar birinen song biri әrtýrli súraqtar qoyyp, ortagha әrtýrli taqyryptar tastap, jipti iynege sabaqtay almay jatqanday, ortaq bir taqyryp tabylmayynsha, әreket etedi. Ártýrli buyndar ókili bolyp tabylatyn, ýsh er kisi endi-endi ortaq bir taqyryp taba bastayyn dep jatqan kezde, Asalya ózine tәn mәnermen:

– Tuuuu, ata, vy opyati gotovily ety makarony?! My je vam govoriym, ne gotovite tak! Luchshe shodiyte kuda-to pokushati. My vam denigy ostavlyaem je! Ne nado pitatisya kak bomj, ata. Ya eto vybrasyvai, - dep bir qazan ata pisirgen makarondy, qoqys jәshigine qaray apardy.

– Ói, ony laqtyrma, jýgermek, - on bes-jiyrma jylgha jasyraq bolsa, ata sәl basqa balaghattau sózderin paydalanatyn edi. Biraq jasy kelip, boyyndaghy kýshi ketip, endi qazir júmsaq sóileuge mәjbýr bolyp otyrghandyqtan, - obal bolady. Aldynda ne túrsa da, shýkirshilik etu kerek, - dep, sharasyz kózderimen qarap, kelinine sózin aitty.

– Ata, vy vse vremya govoriyte «Shukirshiliyk, shukirshiliyk». Kuda priyvedet eto shukirshiliyk? My teperi doljny jiti kak bomjy chto-ly iyz-za vashego «shukirshiliyk»?

– Áy, jýgermek, ashtyqty kórmegensing ghoy. Toqtyqta ósip, endi qazir toyghandarynnan esirip otyrsyndar.

Men ózim otyzynshy jyldary dýniyege keldim. Ákey men sheshey meni sәby kezimde ashtyqtan aman esen shyghardy. Sosyn әkeydi repressiyagha úshyrata jazdady. Endi repressiyadan aman qaldyq pa degen sәtte, әkeni soghysqa alyp ketti. Soghysta 43-shi jyly qaytys boldy. Sodan biz shesheymen, bauyrlarymyzben jalghyz qaldyq. Eki-ýsh kýndep tamaq jemey jýretin kezder bolatyn edi. Soghystan aman esen shyqtyq pa degen kezde, sheshey syrqattanyp qalyp, men barmyn, inilerim bar, bala kezden sabhozda júmysqa shyqtyq. Ne kiyim joq, ne dúrys tamaq joq. Solay ómir baqy sabhozda júmys istep shyqtym. Ýilenip, balaly bolyp. Qúdaygha shýkir, senderding әkelerindi qalagha oqugha jiberdik. Ákeng qalada oqyp, qalada qaldy. Qanshama qiynshylyqty kórsek te, balalarymyzdy oqyttyq, jetildirdik, el qatarly qyldyq. Ájelering de erte ketti.

E, qúday, neni menen alyp, neni  maghan bermedin! Alynbaghan jalghyz janym ghana qaldy. Ol sәt te alys emes. Ashtyqty da kórdik, toqtyqty da kórdik. Barshylyqty da kórdik, joqshylyqty da kórdik. Ayday súlu, jany nәzik әjelerindi syilady qúday, sosyn oryny tolmastay qylyp, alyp qoydy. Jalghyz qaldym. Myna qu basymyzdan jalghanda ne ótpedi desenshi!

Senderding buyndaryng baqytty ghoy. Biz kórgenning birin de kórmedinder. Endi qazir, toqtyqta otyryp, jyly jerde aityp otyrghanyn qara mynalardyn. Qúday senen alamyn dese, aitpay, bir mezette bәrin alyp qoyady. Sol ýshin shýkirshilik etu kerek. Áytpese myna laqtyrayyn dep jatqan makarongha zar bolyp qalasyn. Qazir shalqyp jýrgendering eng әueli qúdaydyng arqasy, sodan keyin әke-sheshelerinning arqasy, - dep, janyndaghy bar aiqaydy jetkize almay aitty.

Ermek osy kóriniske eriksiz kórermen bolghandyqtan, qaysybir jaqqa bolysa almady. Ishinen oilaghany: «Myna mening qúrdastarym ne jep, qay jerde bolmasa da, kónilderi tolmay otyrady. Ata bolsa qiynshylyqtardy basynan ótkerip, әrbir tamshy su, әrbir qiqym nannyng qadirin qan men terding qúnymen úghynghan adam. Mynalar әlemning eng ghajap tamaghyn jese de, betteri tyjyrayyp, bir ilik izdep otyrady. Atamyz bir úrttam su jәne qaynatylghan mokoronnan mynalar sezine almaytyn rahatty aludy ýirengen. Ýirengen dep aitugha kelmes. Ómir ózi ýiretken desek dúrys bolar. Mynalargha ómir sabaq bermeya qoysyn. Onyng ýstine, atanyng aitatyny dúrys. Búlar mynanday tamasha pәteri bar otbasynda emes, bir afrikadaghy shalghay auyldyng birinde tuyluy әbden mýmkin edi. Demek myna ómirge kelemiz, sosyn ketemiz. Qay jerde keletinimiz, qay jerde, qashan ketetinimiz bir qúdaygha ghana mәlim. Kelu men ketuding ortasynda shýkirshilik etuden basqa amal joq eken, óitkeni bizde bar zat – ol bizdiki emes eken. Ózinning jaryn, balang dep otyrghan adamdardyng ózi saghan tiyesili emes. Baylyq, ataqty aitpaya qoyayyn. Kerek dese, tek qana meniki dep jýrgen janynnan aiyrylyp qalasyn. Onyng ýstine, ómirde sonshama ne tyndyryp osynday jaqsylyqqa, molshylyqqa layyq bolyp otyrsyn. Sening bar istegening -  ol tuylghanyn. Jaqsy, әdepti otbasynda dýniyege kelsen, jolyng bolghany. Al eger maskýnem adamdardyng otbasynda dýniyege kelseng she? Olar seni oqytyp, qydyrtpaq týgil, tamaghyndy da bermeydi. Nemenesine ózindi basqa adamnan joghary sanaysyn? Ol adam sonday otbasynda tuyludy tandaghan ba? Tandaugha mýmkindigi bolsa da, ol adam maskýnemder otbasynda dýniyege keludi tandar ma edi? Mandayyna jazylghany sol bolyp túr. Ózing jaqsy jerde tuylsan, ózindi joghary sezinbey, basqalargha kómektesken dúrys әri әdiletti emes pe?

Ózim-ózim deysinder. Ózim degenning ózi – ghajap sәtti oqighalardyng jiyny. Mektepte saghan jaqsy әser etetin ústaz, synyptastarynnyng boluy. Mektepten keyin jaqsy kurstas balalardyng boluy. Uniyversiytet bitirgen shaghynda, aldynnan ministirlikte ne basqa jerde lauazymdy kókennin, tәtenning shygha qaluy. Olar shyqpasa da, sәtti bireumen kezdese qalyp, ómirde ornalasyp ketuin. Osynyng bәri ghajap sәttilik bolmay nemene? Janghan baghyng ýshin kimge qaryzdarsyn? Ony әr adam ózi shesher».

Osy oidyng bәri qonaqtyng ishinen syrtqa shyqqysy kelip jatqan dýley órt sekildi, laulap jatty. Ol órtti shygharmay ústap túrghan jalghyz kýsh – bala kezdegi әjesining Ermekting anasyna aitqan aqyly edi.

Keshke otbasymen tamaq iship otyrghan kezde, Ermekting anasy bir qúrbysynyng kýieuimen úryssyp qalghanyn aitqan bolatyn. Sol úrysty toqtatu ýshin, tәtemiz ortagha týsken, qúrbysyna kenester aitqan. Sony estigen qart әje: «Eshqashan bireuding otbasylyq sharualaryna aralaspandar. Eger ol adamdar ózderi senderden kenes súrasa ghana, bar aqyldaryndy aityndar. Ol kisiler býgin úryssady, erteng tatulasady, al sender jaqsylyq isteymin dep, eki ortada kinәli bolyp qalasyndar».

Asalya bolsa atasymen tartysty toqtatpady:

– Oi, ata, perestanite! Opyati vy za svoe. Kuday, Alla, chto eshe u vas? Ne nado navyazyvati vashy vzglyady nam! Ya je ne vinovata, chto vy rodilisi v takoe vremya. Esly vy rodilisi v takoe vremya, vse my doljny stradati chto-li? Y voobshe, pochemu ya doljna o kom-to eshe dumati?! Kto-to obo mne dumaet? Net, konechno. Vsego ya dostigla sama. Nikakoy kuday mne ne pomagal. Esly esti kuday, kak vy govoriyte, to pochemu po miru idut voyny? Pochemu esti bolezni? Pochemu ludy umirait? Pochemu esti vory? Pochemu esti ubiysy? Pochemu vse vremya doljno byti shukiyr? Vy viydeli, kak ludy jivut zagraniysey. Ony tak jivut, potomu chto u nih net vashego «shukiyr». Ot jizny nado brati vse. Skoliko raz mojno povtoryati, JIYVEM ODIN RAZ. Ne nado, pojaluysta, na nas delati proeksii vashey paradigmy, - ashuly dauysymen sharp berdi.

«Myqty bolsan, ózindi jen» deydi. Asalya atasy aitqanynyng keybirin týsinip, kelisip túrsa da, ishtey ózining búrynnan qalyptasqan ústanymyn jene almady. Aldynda ózi aitqan sózderge qarsy shygha almady. Olay istese, óz-ózine opasyzdyq jasaghan sekildi bolushy edi.

Búghan sheyin Asalya men atanyng arasynda elemeuge bolatyn pikir talastar bolyp túratyn. Onyng kóbine sebepshi әrtýrli buynnyng kóz-qarastarynyng kelispeushiligi edi. Aldynghy buyn ómirinde basyn oigha da, qyrgha da soqqan. Olar endi barynsha túraqtylyqty qalaydy. Barynsha abay bolghylary keledi. Osy sәtke sheyin jighan-tergenin joghaltyp alghysy kelmeydi. Sol ýshin, keler buyngha ózining aqyl kenesin aitady. Keler buyn olardy tyndamaydy, óitkeni   olardyng oily-qyrly joly әli alda. Olardyng basy әli bir de bir ret soghylmaghan. Sol sebepti ózin tym senimdi ústaydy, kóregendilikti az tanytady.

Aldynghy buynnyng uaqyty ótedi. Keler buynnyng artynan taghy da bir buyn payda bolady. Árbir keler buyn aldyndaghy buynnyng pikirin, ústanymyn joqqa shygharady. Solay әrbir buyn ózining aldyndaghy buyndy, ne artyndaghy buyndy týsine almay ótedi. Osyghan moyynsyna almaytyndary bar ómirin aldyndaghy jәne artyndaghy buynmen kýres jýrgizuge arnaydy. Eshkim eshqashan jenbeytin kýres.

Osy joly Emir ýshin Asalya tym artyq ketip bara jatqanday kórinip:

– Asalya, vse! Uspokoysya! – dep dauysyn kótere bastady.

Emirding sózderinen keyin Asalya odan beter ózining qarqynyn arttyryp:

– Emiyr, ty pochemu povyshaeshi na menya golos?!

– Ne nado tak vyrajatisya v storonu dedushki, - dep, Emir renjigendey, tura sonday dauyspen jauap berdi.

Asalya ýshin óte auyr soqqy bolghany, ishinen óz-ózin, ózining ishki jaularyn jene almay túrghanda, kenetten syrttan jaudyng payda bola qalghany:

– Emiyr, mne inogda kajetsya, chto ty prevrashaeshisya v kakogo-to abuzera. V poslednee vremya nachal vse chashe y chashe golos povyshati na menya. Mojet ty eshe nachneshi menya kontrolirovati? Biti? Pravilino mne mama govorila, ty staneshi takim je sobstvennikom, kak y tvoy otes.

Ermek kózin júmyp jatqanda, әuede Emirding qoly payda boldy. Ashyp qalghan sәtinde, shapalaqtyng dybysy estilip, Asalya betin ústap, onyng betine bireuding qoly shynymen tiygenine sene almay otyrdy. Birer sәtten keyin:

– Vse! Mama byla prava, - dep, jylaghan Asalya, jatyn bómege qaray jýgirip ketti.

Keshting shyrqy tolyqtay búzylghan sәt osynday bolatyn shyghar. Qalghan ýsheui ýndemey otyrdy. Dәl sol bir sәtte әlem toqtap qalyp, osy bólmedegi bireu qozghalyp qalsa, atom jarylysy bolatynday.

Ghalamshar joyylyp ketse de, tәuekelge bel buyp, atamyz aqyryndap ornynan túryp, ózining bólmesine qaray kete bastady. Ermek ynghaysyz jaghdaylarda búryn sondy bolyp kórgen, biraq dәl osynday sәtte bolyp kórmepti. Emirdi ne júbataryn, ne aiyptaryn bilmey qaldy. Ózin kinәli sezingendey de boldy. Ishine alyp qayyq kelip, zәkir tastaghanday. Emir esh úyalghan da joq, bolghan jaghday ýshin ózin ynghaysyz sezingen de joq. Qonaq ne oilap qalady dep te oilamaghan, óitkeni Ermekting oiy ol ýshin eshnәrseni ózgertpeushi edi. Emirding ishi sol mezette vakumgha ainalghanday boldy da, qaytadan ómirge tola bastady:

– Ya tebya provoju, Ermek. Davay na balkone podezda postoiym, ya pokuru, - dep, aqyryn dauysymen aitty.

Er jigitter bir-birin sózsiz týsindi. Ýndemey ghana ayaq kiyimderin kiyip, podezding balkonyna shyqty. Balkongha shyghyp, Emir ernimen temekini qysyp alyp, shaqpaqty tútatyp qalghan sәtte, alysta aspan sirinkesin tútatyndyrghanday, nayzaghay jarq ete qaldy.

– Znaeshi, brat, ya tebe posovetuy, nikogda ne jenisi na devushke, kotoraya razbiraetsya v markah mashiyn. Samoe luchshee, kogda dlya nee net nikakoy raznisy mejdu Rols Roysom y Jiguliy.

Za ney je hodily stoliko horoshih parney, daje kogda my ne byly jenaty. Odnomu ona otkazala, potomu chto u nego ne bylo mashiny, drugogo nos ne ponravilsya, u tretiego kvartira malenikaya. Ona v konechnom itoge vybrala menya, y ya vybral ee. Znachiyt, my s ney odinakovye, raz uj smogly do etogo momenta vmeste projiti. Izvini, chto tak proizoshlo.  Pry rodiytelyah etot razgovor ne zavely by daje, - Emir basyna kelgen oilardy, dybystap, retsiz aityp jatqanda, tartyp jatqan temekining jartysynan kóbi kýl bolyp әuege úshyp ta ketti, - Vot takie dela, brat. Glavnoe, vse esti, no vsegda chego-to ne hvataet. Hodim v etoy vechnoy pogone za neizvestnym. Inogda hochetsya prosto vzyati, vskryti sebe veny, chtoby vse eto zakonchilosi.

– Qoy, Ámir! Jaman aitpa. Ómiring әli alda ghoy senin. Áli talay qyzyq kýtip túr. Qolynda bar kýsh-quat, baylyqty basqalary ýshin paydamen júmsasan, ómirinde jana mәn payda bolady, - dep Ermek, júbanysh sózderin shyn jýregimen aitty.

Ermekte eshkimge eshqanday qyzghanysh sezimi bolmaghan. Atasynyng danalyghyn boyyna jasynan erte sinirgen boluy kerek.

– Ostalinym pomogati, govorishi? Napriymer, komu? Vsem ne pomojeshi v etom miyre. Polumer ya ne priyemlu, - dep, Emir kýlip jiberdi, - Kajdyy doljen samogo sebya spasati. Tak ustroena chelovecheskaya priroda. Pomojeshi odin raz – vsegda budut nadeyatsya na tvoi pomoshi. Potom hody s parazitamy na spiyne.

– Eh, Ámir, Ámir! Auru balalargha kómektes. Ol bozdaqtar, - «bozdaq» degen sózdi estigende, Emirding qabaghy ózgerip ketkenin kórip, oryssha núsqasyn aitty, - ety sozdaniya, solay tuyludy tandamaydy. Sen de osylay dening sau, molshylyqta tuyludy tandaghan joqsyn. Saghan, qúday deysing be, taghdyr deysing be, kezdeysoqtyq deysing be, ózing bilesin, bireu nemese birnәrse osynshama zor mәrtebe, - Emirding qabaghy qaytadan ózgerip ketkendikten, oryssha núsqasyn aitugha tura keldi, - priviylegiya bergen eken. Sol mәrtebeni, saghan berilgen priviylegiya, dúrys paydalansan, ózine de jaqsy, basqalargha da payda. Maghan onday mәrtebe berilmepti. Onday mәrtebege ie bolu ýshin, men qara terge týsip enbektenu kerekpin, v pote lisa doljen budu truditisya.

Emir qolyndaghy temekining songhy tartymdaryn jasap:

– Brat, tam uje zvezdy vidneitsya, pohodu, zavtra dojdya uje ne budet. Ladno, brat, spasibo, chto postoyal. Poydu ya domoy. Pered Asaley y dedushkoy izvinusi. Davay! Uvidimsya, - dep, Emir býrsendep, balkonnyng esigin ashyp, jyldam pәter jaqqa qaray suylyp ketti.

Ermek bolsa, janbyrdyng iyisimen tereng demalyp túra túrdy. Osy sәtti paydala otyryp, bizding әngimemizding keyipkerining ómirbayanyn sәl ashyp keteyik.

Ermekting әkesi men ansy bir zavodta qyzmet etken. Atasy auyl mektebinde múghalim bolghan. Auyl qúldyray bastaghanda, balasy ony qalagha kóshirip alghan. Ájesi bolsa ýide otyrghan. Biraq kitap oqyp, key kezderi ózi óleng shumaqtaryn jazatyn, әsirese, bireuding toyyna tilek aitugha barghanda. Tipti, atagha oqushylardyng ýy júmys dәpterlerin tekseruge kómektesetin. Qazir Ermek pen atasy túryp jatqan pәter әkesine zavod tarapynan tegin berilgen. Jalpy, onyng әkesi júmysqa óte tiyanaqty qaraytyn adam bolghan. Berilgen tapsyrmany bir adym shetke baspay isteytin. Diyrektordyng orynbasary qyzmetine әbden layyqty bolushy edi.

Biraq 1990 jyldardyng ayausyz jeli, eldegi barlyq óndiristi qiratyp, Ermekting әkesi de, anasy da júmyssyz qalghan. Áyel adamy kónilshek, emosionaldy, nәzik bolyp kelgenimen, er adamdarmen salystyrghanda, ózgeristerge onay beyimdelip, kýizelis sәtterin jenil ótkizedi.

Ákesi júmysyn joghaltqanda, basar tauyn bilmey, ishimdikke әues bolyp ketken. Anasy bolsa, jany shyryldap, ýidegi baryn satyp, sәti týsip jatqan jerlerde azyn aulaq tiynyn tauyp, ýige bir qiqym nan bolsa da, әkelip, otbasyn qiyn kezennen sýirep alyp shyqqan. 2000 jyldargha taman, elding jaghdayy jaqsaryp, sodan adamdardyng da jaghdayy aqyryndap onala bastady. Ermekting әkesi ishimdikti qoyyp, júmys tauyp, jyldyng bir-eki kýni bolsa da, otbasy arqany keninen jayatyn sәtterge de jetti.

Bir kýni, atanyng auylynda toy bolatyn bolyp, soghan biz aityp otyrghan otbasy shaqyrylghan. Biraq taghdyrdyng jazghany boluy kerek, dәl toy kýni Ermek auyryp qalyp, barlyghy ýide qalayyn dep jatqan. Biraq qazaq halqynda «Shaqyrmaghan jerge barma, shaqyrylghan jerden qalma» degen naqyl sóz bar, sol ústanymgha sәikes, bәri toygha ketip, ýide Ermek pen atasy qalatyn boldy. Qalghan otbasy mýsheleri kólikpen auylgha attandy. Bara jatqan kezde, kólik apatqa úshyrap, tek qana Ermekting әkesi tiri qaldy. Biraq, osy joly qasynda sýiikti jary bolmay, jalghyz qalghanday sezinip, qayghygha batyp, taghy da ishimdikke әuestenip, birneshe jyldang song ol da bauyr auruynan qaza tapty. Solay myna qatygez zamanda, nemeresi pen atasy bir birine týreu bolatyn jalghyz sýienishke ainaldy. Jaqyn adamdarynan aiyrylghan Ermek, atasynyng qadirin, dostarynyng qadirin, tuystarynyng qadirin, adamzattyng qadirin eshkim sezinbegendey, sezine alghan. Sodan onyng atasyna degen yqylasy bólek. Atasy da sauatty adam bolghandyqtan, ony osy uaqytqa sheyin dúrys nasihattap, týzu joldan taydyrmaghan.

***

Ermekting atasynyn, barlyq qart adamdar sekildi, kýn kókjiyekten aspay, oyanyp alatyn әdeti bar. Adamnyng aghzasy qartayghan shaghynda, ómirining sony kele jatqanyn sezip, barynsha úiqyny azaytyp, myna jalghanmen tamsanugha berilgen mýmkindikterding bәrin tolyqpay paydalanghysy keletin sekildi. Atasy oyanghandyqtan, sybdyrdan, syldyrdan Ermek te erte oyanyp alatyn boldy. Terezening shymyldyghyn ashyp qarasa, aspandaghy búlttar seyilip, kókjiyekten endi-endi kýnning domalaghy kórinip kele jatyr. Nemeresi men atasy dәstýrdi ózgertpey, tanghy shәilaryn iship, songhy oqyghan kitaptaryn talqylap, búrynghyny eske alyp, jaqyndary tiri bolghanda, qazir qalay bolatyny jayynda qiyaldap, sәl uaqyttan keyin dalagha shyghyp, otyra túrudy josparlady. Qart janbyrly kýnderi mýldem dalagha shyqpaghan edi.

Bir-eki saghattan keyin, kýn sәuleleri dalany ózing әmirine alghanda, Ermek pen atasy esik aldyndaghy, taldyng kólenkesi qorghan bolyp túratyn, oryndyqtargha otyrdy. Bolghan janbyrdan kishkene shalshyqtar ghana qalyp, planetany bireu polietiylen qaptyng ishine salyp, kýnning astyna qoyyp qoyghanday, auadaghy ylghaldylyq artyp, keudeni basatyn qapyryq túrdy. Ne desek te, ýiding auasynan dalanyng auasy jaqsyraq sergitedi.

Ermek atasymen bolashaqty talqylap, kenester súrap otyrdy. Ol ómirinde kezdesken ýlken-kishi adamnyng bәrinen kenes súraytyn әdeti bar edi. Mektepti bitirse de, basqalary tәjiriybesi, kenesteri arqyly ýirete alatyn ómir sabaqtaryn oqudy toqtatpaghan. Keyipkerimiz jas bolsa da, birneshe adamnyng ómirin sýrip tastaghanday, qorjynynda aqyly bar.

(Key-kezderi eresek adam qarbalas ómirding aghynymen ketip, ózining bala bolghanyn úmytady. Kishkene balamen bir saghat sóilessen, ózindi bala shaghynda eske alyp, ómirinde mәn qaytadan payda bolghanday, keydene jana lep enip, marqayyp qalasyn. Kishkentay bala eresek adamgha neni ýiretedi deysin? – Adamgha eng keregin – ómirdi taza sýrudi ýiretedi).

Birde әjesi Ermekke: «Múnarang qúlamasyn desen, shet jaqtan kelip jatqan kenesterge qúlaq asyp otyr. Tәkapparlyq tanytpa! Tәkapparlyq sening kózindi túman sekildi túmshalaydy da, myna ómirde adasyp qalasyn. Adasqan adam baqytsyz keledi. Baqytsyz adam basqalargha qayghy, qasiret syilap, olardy da baqytsyz qylady. Myna ómirde ózing ishtey baqytty bolugha tyrys, balam. Baqytyng ishinde bolsyn, syrttan izdeme. Sonda aryng da, kóniling de, niyeting de taza bolyp, óler shaghynda ókinishsiz ketesin. Qúday sendey taza jangha adal jar kezdestirsin», - dep ósiyetimen birge batasyn bergen bolatyn.

Qart kisi Emirding atasyn eske alyp jatqan sәtinde, podezding esigi ashylyp, qolyna kishkene sómke ústaghan Asalya kórindi:

– Salemetsizbe, ata! Priyvet, Ermek! Segodnya horoshaya pogoda. Da?

Artynan Emir auyr sómkeni kóterip kele jatyp, ony Ermek pen atasynyng janyna qoyyp, eki qoldap oryndyqta otyrghan atamen ýndemey amandasty. Artynan, betteri kýnge kýiip ketken, Emirding әke sheshesi týsip kele jatyp, olar da qart kisige sәlem berdi. Eng sonynda ayandaghan Emirding atasyn kórip, oryndyqta otyrghan qart, ornynan túryp, ekeui tós qaghysyp, úzaq birining qolyn biri ústap amandasty.

Emirding anasy:

– Ata, Ermek, vy chto zdesi sidiyte? Poydemte s namy na pikniyk. My v park sobiraemsya.

Birneshe kýn jauyp túrghan janbyrdyng izi joghalghanday, Emirding otbasyndaghy bolghan keshegi dauyl da joq bolyp ketti. Bәri mәz-meyram, shat-shadyman. Ermek ishinen, taghy bir dauyldyng kuәgeri bolmayyn dep, ózi barghysy kelmey, atasynan jauap kýtti. Atasy eshkimdi renjitpey, aqyryn ghana barmaytyndyqtaryn aitty. Emir ýiinen sómke-sómke zattar tasyp jýrgende, eki qart kisi oryndyqqa otyryp, ótkendi eske alyp, әngime aitugha kiristi. Emir zattardy tasyp bitirip, bәri kólikke otyryp jatqanda, anasy atany shaqyrdy.  Emirding atasy bolsa, ózining zamandasymen әngime aitqysy kelip, barmaytyndyghyn aityp, balalaryna aq jol tiledi. Solay Ermek jәne eki qart kisi esik aldynda otyryp әngimelerin jalghastyrdy. Piknik sýigish otbasy kólikke otyryp, kóshening sonynda búrylyp, kózden joq bolyp ketti. Osylay әngimemiz de ayaqtaldy.

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