- Otandyq tele arnalar ne kórsetip jatyr?

- Muzyka, kәnsert, sayqymazaqtar sherui...

Tәulik boyy yrbyn-yrbyn, yrjyn-yrjyn, jyrq-jyrq...

- Basqa ne bar?

- Janalyqtar she?..

Ol da belgili, pedofiliya, sharanany óltirgen jasóspirim qyz, paraqorlar...

- Kino she?

- Shetelding ózderi qaramaytyn qansyghyn aitasyng ba?!.

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Maghynasyz muzyka, boyanyp alghan әrtisterding beypil kýlkisi - baqytty, shat-shadyman elding sipaty emes, kerisinshe, keri ketken, baqytsyzdyqqa bet alghan qoghamnyng aiqyn kórinisi!

Telejәshikten qashyp, ghalamtorgha kelesin. Ne kórdin, ne oqydyn? Kileng aqyl aitqyshtar men "Býgin kimdi tiridey jesek eken?" dep jalandap otyrghan ózindi tabasyn. IYә, ózgeni emes, ózindi tabasyn!

Qalyng sarapshylar, qaptaghan mamandar, birin-biri quattap, qate basqan "kýnәhardy", "qoghamnyng jauyn" týtip jegen aitqyshtar...

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Bireu din jayly aityp, sharighattan qozghaydy. Oghan beseui qarsy shyghyp, dininizding túp-tura óz atasyna týskenin dәleldep shyghady. "Kitap bylay deydi" dese, "Kitabyng ózine, ainalayyn, atalarymyz bylay etetin!" dep, Qúnanbaydyng oqyghan balalarynan bastap, qazaqtyng arghy-bergi iluge jaramdysynyng barlyghyn sýmpiytip, ózining pikirin aqtap shyghatyn «advokat» qyp qoyady. Eki ortada qandauyz Kenes ýkimetinen últtyq ruh pen auyz әdebiyetin saqtap qalu ýshin "Allajarlap" shapqan qazaqtyng auzyna "әruaqty" salghan, sóitip jazba mәdeniyetining jibin jalghaghan amalsyz kýi, ýmitti amanatty bilmeydi. Sol týrine qaramay, "Qazaqta jazba mәdeniyeti joq, tarih bolmaghan!" dese, jatyp kep tulaydy.

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Aughanystan qanday el edi? Qazir qanday? Sharighatty óz qalauyna iykemdep, diny qogham bolamyz degen el býgin alty jasar qyzyn alpystaghy shaldyng qoynyna salyp berip, haram ýkimi shygharylghan esirtkimen jan baghyp otyr.
Olar da muzykany ómirding mәni dep týsinip, ghylymnan bas tartqan, diny dogmanyng shәiine apiyndy ezip iship, әuliyelik transqa týsken jamaghat bolatyn...

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Alapat qarsylyq bar, әiteuir. Kimge jәne nege ekenin ózderi de bilmeydi. Biraq, jappay qarsy!

«Biylikte bas joq, Ýkimette my joq!»... Alayda, ózderi aqyldy hәm kóripkel. Shiyrek ghasyr jýzdegen ghylymiy-saraptamalyq instituttar men myndaghan bilikti mamandar adasyp kelipti de, tek ózderi ghana tura joldan taymapty. Analardyng atqara almaghanyn bir-aq kýnde tyndyryp, ghylymiy-ruhany uә tehnologiyalyq tónkeris jasayyn dese, ókinishke oray, qoldarynda biylik, qaltalarynda qarajat joq eken... Ókinishti, әriyne, óte ókinishti!

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Túlypqa mónireuden elding aldyna shyqqanymyz sonshama, túlybymyz tirilip ketti de, onymen qoymay, ishindegi sabanymyzdy qaytarmastan, shet el asyp qashyp ketti.

Ana elding meri júmysyna belesebetpen barady eken, myna elding basshysy meshitte týneydi eken, oqqagharsyz jýredi, qarapayym ýide túrady, t.t., s.s..

Eger maghan salsa, Elbasy qala manyndaghy qarausyz jerge kiygiz ýiin zansyz tigip alyp, ashyq-shashyq otyruy kerek te, men kónilim soqsa әrәdik baryp zirkildep, auzyma kelgendi aityp ketuim kerek eken. Mine, mening parasatty týsinigim osy!

Qazaq qazaq bolghaly Han ordasy, nóker, baqauyl, aidauyl degenning ne ýshin qalyptasqanyn zerdeleu shart emes. Ayttym, boldy, biylik pen basshy qolbala boluy kerek!

Bastyghy men әielining aldynda kýbejektep qalatyndar әrisi Allasynyn, berisi patshasynyng "kemshiligi men qateligin" (astapralla!) tizbektegende, әi, perghauynyng da onday bolmaghan shyghar dep qalasyn.., subhanalla!..

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«Jaman qogham - ereuilshi, jaman adam - toruylshy keledi» dep dúrys aitqan. Ot shyqpay týtindep, su shalmay shylqyldap otyrghan kileng sirkesi su kótermeytin narazylar. Kimge narazy, nege narazy, shart emes, әiteuir kinәliler basqalar, ózi - aq!

Ár adamnyng ishinde bir-bir Áblәzip, bir-bir Qajygeldin búghyp ketip bara jatqan siyaqty kórinedi, key kezde. Memleketke, últqa jany ashymaydy, biraq solar ýshin bireuler basyn bәigege tigip, qúrbangha shalynuy kerek. Átten, qolynda biylik bolsa, kórseter edi, el bolghannyng ne ekenin!

Qazaqqa sonda kimning jany ashidy?

Qytay men orysty jau, arab pen aghylshyndy dúshpan dep tanyghandar ma? Nemese, eng alghashqylardyng biri bop qytay investorlarynyng Qazaqstandaghy ókili bolghan, qazirde júmyssyz jatsa da Qytay men Dubaygha emin-erkin baryp kele salysymen top qúryp, qytaygha qarsy qol jinaytyn, uatsap arqyly qazaqty arandatatyn "antiy-qytay" aghayynymyz ba?

Qalaghanyng ereuil bop, ghylymyng men biliming tasyp, narazylyghyng ishine syimay bara jatsa, qolyndy kim qaqty, jolyndy kim bógedi?! Shyqsay, ereuiline! Biz mynda otyryp sóz qylayyq ta, taqyryp kerek qoy, bizge de!..

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Jeke pikirim ghoy, maghan osy «24 kz» telearnasy únaydy. Qazaqstannyng әr týkpirinde tәjiriybege engizilip jatqan jana tehnologiyalar men jeke kәsip iyeleri, sharua adamdarynyng janashyldyghyn kóp kórsetedi. Quatyng týgesilip, janaryng kilmiyip bara jatqanda, elinde bolyp jatqan iygi isterdi bilip, qayta jan shaqyrghanday bolasyn.

Ómir sýrging keledi...

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"Ómir degen ne desem?" dep Múqaghaly aghamyz aitpaqshy, "Qazaq degen kim?" desem, ózim ekenmin, men ekenmin!..

Qazaq qoghamyn damytpay otyrghan keritartpa, kýnde erteng elime jaqsylyq jasaymyn dep uәde berip oryndamaytyn, әr tanda kózimnen jarq etken úshqyndy kinәlini izdeymin dep sóndirip alatyn, basyn shalyp barlyghyn biletin, bir nәrseni tolyq mengermegen, biraq, basqany týigishtegim kep túratyn, barshagha jón-josyq aitushy, aqyldyng ken-dariyasy... - men ekenmin, Qazaq degen!

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Astyrtyn әreketti qoyyp, jariya týrde búl QAZAQ degen eldi qúrtudy qolgha alghanymyzdy moyyndaytyn uaqyt jetken sekildi, qazaqtar!

Qaytpek kerek?!.

(Jalghasy joq...)

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