Arsha besikting qúdireti
Qoghamnan basqasha oilaytyn qalamgerlerge (Aleksandr Soljenisyn, Iosif Brodskiy qatarlylar) sayasy baspana, әlemdik eng ýlken әdeby marapat Nobeli syilyghyn úsynyp, “aghalyq” qamqorlyq tanytqan batys biyligi Gorbachevtyng qayta qúruynan keyin kәdege jarar mәdeny kózirlerin qyzyl imperiyanyng jýregine jiberuge mýmkindik aldy. Tamyz tónkerisining qarsanynda Amerikanyng әigili rok toby «Metallika» Mәskeude ashyq alanda san týmen adamnyng aldynda óner kórsetti. Top mýshelerining shash-kiyim ýlgisimen sahnadaghy qimyl qozghalysynan әnderining ekpininen batystyq erkindikting lebi esip túrdy. Ásirese top әnshisi Djeyms Hetfildting әlsin әli kórermenderge qarap tost kóterip, qúrghaghan tamaghyn syramen jibitui kenestik ýlken semiyada jaghymdy keyipker boludan sharshaghan jana buynnyng erekshe qoshametine ie boldy.
Kóp ótpey alyp imperiya qúlady. IYdeyalogiyalyq teke-tireste qyzyl imperiya jenilis tapty. Metallika “Kenes odaghyn qúlatty” - degen әzil shyny aralas anyz әngime tarady. Shetelde ataq abyroygha kenelip, ahualdy syrttay baqylaghan dessiydent jazushylargha qaraghanda últtyq jazushylargha erekshe jauapkershilik, auyr mindet jýkteldi. Kenestik jýiening qúlauy otar respublikalargha tarihy mýmkindik tәuelsizdik syilaghanymen, eki tizgin bir shylbyrdy qolgha alghan jana da jas memleketter qarama-qayshy qúndylyqtar qaqtyghysynyng qazanynda qaynady. Últtyq memleket qúru talpynysy eski jýiege tәn qasang kózqarastar men batystyq qúndylyqtardyng talauyna týsti.
Osynday syn saghatta sergek oily sóz daryghan el arystary suyrylyp algha shyqty. Olyrdyng biri de biregeyi әigili Sherhan Múrtaza edi. Ilgeride halqymyzgha ólsheusiz qayghy әkelgen ekinshi dýniyejýzilik soghystyng qasyretin qauzasa, jylymyq shaqta últymyz ómirindegi eng bir nәubet kezeng asharshylyq pen Stalindik repressiyanyng qúyasyn aqtardy. Batyl qadamy arqyly qoghamda aghartushylyq ról atqardy. Baq basshysynan halyq qalaulysyna, «Últshyldardyng últshylyna» ainaldy. Tәuelsizdigimiz ornyqqan kezde agha buyn jazushylarda memuarlyq shygharma – esse roman jazu beleng aldy. Qalamy men qarymy ózgeden bólek Sheraghang taghy da tynnan týren saldy. Áriptesterin qaytalamady. Fәlsapalyq oilar jinaqtalghan «Bir kem dýniyesin» jazdy. Búl shygharma abyz atamyzdyng kýreske toly ómirining úzyn sonar bayany emes, ómir kezenderindegi kónil auany, jýrek búlqynysy, tarih pen býgindi baghamdaghan tereng tolghanystary edi. Tuyndynyng basty ereksheligi jinaqylyghynda.tartysty taghdyrdy taryday detaldar arqyly bere biluinde edi.
«Arsha besik» degen bir ýziginde jetimdikten últ arysyna kóterilgen óz ómirin qazaqy besikting kiyesimen baylanystyrady. Anasy shampan ishuge qúmar bolghan amerikalyq biyshi Ayseroda Dunkannyng “Men biyleudi anamnyng qúrsaghynda jatqanda ýirendim” - degen sózin mysal etip, batystyq tәrbie men últtyq tәrbiyeni salystyryp, әri qaray qazaqy qúndylyqtyng syryn asha týsedi: «Múqang aitqan “Besigindi týze” - degen sózde tereng maghyna bar. Sonyng biri besik aghashynyng taza, sapaly boluy. Al sapaly besik arsha aghashynan jasalghan besik.
Arsha asa qasiyetti aghash. Qasiyetti bolatyny oghan anau-mynau auru-syrqau jolamaydy, týrli mikrobtardy, qúbyjyqtardy óltiretin kýshi bar. Arsha besikke qyzamyq, qara sheshek, siyaqty bәleli aurular darymaydy.
Men tughan jyly sәbiyler qara sheshekten qynaday qyryldy. Búghan aldymen Stalin men Goloshekinning qoldan jasaghan “Asyra silteu bolmasyn, asha túyaq qalmasyn” - degen súrqiya sayasaty sebep boldy.
Allanyng qúdireti eken, jaryq dýniyede tatatyn dәm túzym bar eken, sol qyrghynnan men aman qalyppyn.
Kim biledi meni ajaldan arashalap qalghan arsha besik shyghar».
Sonynda ózining últtyq arman-múratyn bylay jetkizedi: «Shamang jetse arsha besik tap; arshany kóp ósir, túqymyn qúrta berme; arsha besikke qút qúiylady.
Shirkin sol arsha besikke bólenetin nәreste kóp bolsa, ghoy!».
Songhy kezde jalpy qazaq ruhaniyaty filosofiyalyq ústanymyn bildirgende kónekóz qariyalar asa bir hiraghatymen aitatyn “Jalghan” jәne “Arman” degen eski eki sózdi mise tútyp kelgen edi. Sheraghang oghan “Bir kem dýniye” degen qarymdy tirkesti qosty. Baqilyq bolghan abyzdy eske alghanda biz de osy sózdi qaytalaugha mәjbýrmiz. Sóz sardarynyng tәuelsiz memleketimizding qalyptasuyna, ruhany dingegining myghym boluyna qosqan qajyr-qayraty, adal enbegi úmytylmaq emes.
Esbol Ýsenúly
Abai.kz