Ertede ata-babalarymyz, әlemdegi súlulyqtyng kórkem ýlgisin aru qyzdyng tal boyynan kórudi kóksegen. Qyr gýline tәn nәziktik pen batyldyq bir boyyna jarasqan qazaqtyng qyzdaryna tәnti bolghan jazushylarymyz shygharmasyna arqau etse, aqyndarymyz inabattylyghy men nәziktigin әnge qosyp, óleng órnekterimen kómkergen. Sonymen qatar, qazaq qyzdarynyng boyyndaghy erligi, tapqyrlyghy, tózimdiligi, qayrattylyghy talay әnderge de arqau bolghany jasyryn emes. Aytalyq, Birjan sal, Aqan, Múhiyt, Baluan Sholaq, Estay syndy sal-seriler jәne belgili túlghalar qazaq qyzdarynyng parasattylyghyn dәripteumen ótken. Oghan dәlel: әigili «Gauhartas», «Jasal qyz», «Ayttym sәlem Qalamqas», «Qorlan» әnderin aitugha bolady. Múnda da qazaq qyzyna degen sheksiz mahabbat surettelgen.

Ertede ata-babalarymyz, әlemdegi súlulyqtyng kórkem ýlgisin aru qyzdyng tal boyynan kórudi kóksegen. Qyr gýline tәn nәziktik pen batyldyq bir boyyna jarasqan qazaqtyng qyzdaryna tәnti bolghan jazushylarymyz shygharmasyna arqau etse, aqyndarymyz inabattylyghy men nәziktigin әnge qosyp, óleng órnekterimen kómkergen. Sonymen qatar, qazaq qyzdarynyng boyyndaghy erligi, tapqyrlyghy, tózimdiligi, qayrattylyghy talay әnderge de arqau bolghany jasyryn emes. Aytalyq, Birjan sal, Aqan, Múhiyt, Baluan Sholaq, Estay syndy sal-seriler jәne belgili túlghalar qazaq qyzdarynyng parasattylyghyn dәripteumen ótken. Oghan dәlel: әigili «Gauhartas», «Jasal qyz», «Ayttym sәlem Qalamqas», «Qorlan» әnderin aitugha bolady. Múnda da qazaq qyzyna degen sheksiz mahabbat surettelgen.

Qazaq qauymynda qyz balanyng orny airyqsha bolghan. Ony mynanday maqal-mәtelden anyq angharugha bolady. Ata-babalarymyz qyzdy qonaq dep eseptep, barghan jerde baghynyng ashyluyna ýide otyryp qamdaghan. Barynsha izetti, sypayy, meyirimdi de ismer, qylyqty da qyrmyzy boluyn ýnemi qadaghalap otyrghan jәne erkin ústaghan, biraq tym erkinsitpegen. Mysaly, «Qyz óris, úl-qonys» dep bilgendikten halyq órisin keneyter qyz balagha airyqsha kónil bólip «Qyz minezdi kelsin, úl ónerli kelsin» degen oimen, qyz tәrbiyesine asa kónil bólgen. Árbir ata-ana qyzdaryn qanattygha qaqtyrmay, túmsyqtygha shoqtyrmay ósirudi paryz dep sanaghan jәne qyzdyng ar-úyatynyng saqshysy bәrine jauapty ekenin eshuaqytta esinen shygharmaghan. Alayda, býgingi tanda kóptegen ata-analargha qarap otyryp, jaghandy ústaysyn. Qyzdarynyng beli besikten shyqpay jatyp, ashyq-shashyq kiyindirip, sәn qudyryp, mektep tabaldyryghyn attaghannan-aq sәnqoy bolyp shygha keledi. Esil-derti kiyim bolyp túrghan balanyng oiynda oqu, bilim alu degen oy qaydan bolsyn. Osylay ósirgen qyzdarymyz, ertengi kýni qanday ana bolmaq, solardyng bir sarynyn kýndelikti kózimizben kórip jýrmiz. Qyz balanyng eng qasiyetti jeri, әriyne ol qúrsaghy emes pe? Degenmen kóptegen arularymyz ózderine sәn etip, osy kindik túsyn ashyp jýrudi sәnge ainaldyrghan. Ár adamnyng kózi týsken, er azamattarymyzdyng oiy bólingen kindik túsyndaghy qúrsaqta payda bolyp, jetilgen baladan qanday azamatty, qanday qazaq qyzyn kýtemiz? Sonymen qatar, qyz-kelinshekterimizding araq iship, temeki tartuy - búl ýlken qasiret. Óitkeni, ana boyymen, balagha daryghan jaghymsyz qasiyetten úrpaghymyz ulanary jasyryn emes. Áyel boludyn, ana boludyng Allanyng syilaghan bagha jetpes baqyt ekenin, qarkózderimiz qashan týsinedi eken?

Býgingi qyzghaldaq qyzdarymyz - ertengi ibaly da inabatty kelin, bolashaq ana, saliqaly әje bolary tabighat jolynan belgili. Sondyqtan imany men ibasy jýzinen bayqalatyn qazaq qyzdaryna ata-babalarymyz qyryq ýiden tyiym salyp, kózinen tasa qaldyrmay, tәrbiyesine ýlken mәn bergen. Áyel - shanyraqtyng qúty, baghy men berekesi, otbasynyng úiytqysy, túrmystyng sәni men saltanaty. Dýniyedegi meyirim men mahabbat ana sýtinen daryp, әiel jýregine úyalaghan deydi. Biraq, býgingidey jalanashtanyp, ezulerinen temekening týtinin budaqtatyp, qalanyng týngi qonaqtaryna ainalghan arularymyzgha qaraghan sәtte, býkil qazaq qyzdarynyng bolmysy ózgergendey bolady. Tipti, mektep tabaldyryghyndaghy qyzdarymyzdyng ózi tym erkinsip ketken. Mәselen, sabaqtan qaytyp kele jatqan eki qyzdyng әngimesine qúlaq týrseng «Oy, qoyshy, ol maghan únamaydy, auyldan shyqqany kórinip túr. Anau ózi býgin jyndy kiyinip alypty, shaqyryp alyp sabasyna týsireyik, úryp keteyik, keshke klubqa barayyq» degen sózderdi estiytinimiz ras. Al, osylay ósip kele jatqan qyzdarymyz, jastyq shaqqa tәn mahabbat degen sezimdi qaydan týsinsin. Júdyryqtay ghana jýrekting degenine kónip, «ol meni sýiedi» degen senimmen ómir sýrip, ýkili ýmitti keudege ilip, sonday bir ýmitpen úiyqtap, sonymen oyanu bir baqyt ekenin býgingi qyzdarymyz sezinbeydi de.

Halqymyz erteden-aq qyzdy qonaq dep sanap, tórine shygharyp kýtken. Búl ýrdis joyylghan joq, әli de bolsa óz jalghasyn tabuda. Biraq kóptegen qazaq qyzdary sipaghandy bilmey, sekirip-aq jýr. Olay deytinim, Qazaqstannan basqa qay elderde qyzdargha arnalghan jogharghy oqu orny bar. Búny músylman memleketterining qyzdy úldan bólip oqytuynyng belgisi emes, búl qazaq dәstýrinde qyz balany syilaudyng erekshe nyshany dep baghalau kerek. Ertede analarymyz, otbasy oshaq qasynda, balalarynyng tәrbiyesine, erining qabaghyna qarap, sol ýiding týtin tútatyp otyrghan. Sol analarymyzdyng arqasynda elimiz el bolyp, tәuelsizdigimiz túghyryna qonyp, býgingidey úrpaqtyng yaghni, qazaq halqynyng jer betinde ómir sýrip jatqandyghy dep bilemin. Áriyne, qyzdarymyzdyng bilim alyp, júmys isteuine eshkimning qarsylyghy da, dauy da joq. Degenmen, kópshilik qyzdarymyzdyng shekten shyghyp bara jatqandyghy qatty qynjyltady. Onymen qosa, qazaq qyzdarynyng ózge últ ókilderine túrmysqa shyghuy qalypty jaghdaygha ainalghan synayly. Últy basqa adamdarmen shanyraq kótergen boyjetkenderimizding kópshiligi materialdyq baylyqtyng jetegine erip, ertengi kýnin oilamauy. Jaraydy, ózge últ ókilderine túrmysqa shyghyp jatyr, oghan da kóndik. Biraq, sol úzatylghan qyzdarymyzdyng barlyghy baqytty bolyp, barghan jerine tastay batyp, suday sinip jatyr ma? Áriyne, joq. Bir jyldan keyin-aq balasyn arqalap, jylap, enirep kelip jatady. Kim óz balasyn syrtqa tepsin, kezinde júrtqa masqara bolghan ata-anasy qyzyn qaytadan ýiine kirgizip jatady. Qarapayym halyqqa keshirimmen qaraghanymyzben, elding tizginin ústap otyrghan betkeústar ziyalylarymyzdyn, qalam ústaghan qalamgerlerimizding ishinde de ózge últ pen qúdalasyp, «qúda myng jyldyq» dep, úlan-asyr toy jasap, qyzdaryn úzatyp jatatyndary da az emes. Múnyng ózi qyzdarymyzdyng ata-anasyn tyndamaytyndyghyn bildirse kerek. Búryndary әkening qabyghyna qarap sóileytin qyz, әkening qabaghy týgili atanyng qabaghyna da qaramaydy. Qazaqta «әkening sózi - oq» degen jaqsy sóz bar, alayda bizding qoghamda búl sózding mәni de, qadir-qasiyeti de qalmaghan-au shamasy. Qazaq qyzdarynyng ishki jan dýniyesining súlulyghyna, mәdeniyettiligine, әdeptiligine ózge júrttar tanday qaghyp qarap, ózderine ýlgi eter kýn qashan tuady eken.

Sonymen qatar, býgingi tanda zaman ózgerdi me, әlde adam ózgerdi me? Áyteuir osynau almaghayyp zamanda erine baghynbaytyn betinen alyp bettendeytin әiel, kesapat qyz, kesirli kelin payda boldy. Onymen qoymay, әiel zatynyng biylikke qol salghany qashan, endi biylikti baghyndyrmaqshy. Áriyne, qyzdarymyz oqysyn, óz salasyn iygersin, júmys istesin. Biraq biylikke, sayasatqa aralasu әiel zatyna say qylyq emes. Qazaq halqy eliktegish keledi ghoy. Batystyng jaghymsyz әreketterin ózimizge dúrys etip kóshirip aludan aldymyzgha jan salmaymyz. Aytalyq, genderlik sayasat yaghni, әiel qauymynyng sayasatqa aralasuy siyaqty bizge jat qylyqty ózimizge aman-esen kóshirip aldyq. Degenmen bizdegiler múny әiel tendigi dep qabyldap aldy. Jo-joq, búl әiel tendigi emes, búl ýlken sayasat. Shyn mәninde, búl ózining biylik kúmarlyghyn sayasattyng kólenkesinde jasyrghysy keletin әielderding isi. Negizinde әiel biyliktegi sayasatker emes, otbasyndaghy sayasatker boluy kerek. Jalpy qoghamda әiel men erkek teng emes. Árqaysysy ózine tәn qasiyetteri, jaratylys qúbylystarymen erekshelenedi. Negizinde әiel syrttan góri, ishki sharuagha beyim bolyp keledi. Egerde әiel biylik quyp, bir mansaptyng sonynda jýrip, esil-derti dala, sayasat bolsa, ol otbasyndaghy bala tәrbiyesi, kýieuimen aradaghy baylanysy qanday bolmaq? Múnday әielderding bir sarynyn kórip te jýrmiz. Tipti bireuleri, besiktegi balasyn kýieuine tastap, ózi «men aqsha tauyp jatyrmyn» degendey kýieuine biylik jýrgizip otyrady. Sirә, búdan asqan soraqylyq, búdan asqan qasiret joq shyghar.

Býginge kóz jýgirtip qarasaq, әielder qauymy erkekterding baryn aldy emes pe? Mysaly, jaulyqtyng ornyna, erkekting basyndaghy qalpaghyn, qos etek kóilekting ornyna shalbaryn, erkekting ezuindegi shylymy men sharabyna deyin tartyp aldy. Endi qalghany biylik edi, ony da alugha tyrysyp baghuda. Sonda er azamattardyng nesi qaldy?

Týptep kelgende әielder biyliktegi sayasatpen emes janúyanyng sayasatymen ainalyssa. Sol otbasyndaghy tәrbiyening dúrys bolmauynan jetim balalar kóbeyip, erli-zayyptylardyng ajyrasuy jiyilep ketti. Eger qolynan kelip jatsa ekeuimen de ainalyssyn. Biraq eki kemening basyn ústaghan sugha ketedi deydi. Ózi ghana sugha ketse meyli ghoy, otbasyn oirandap, shanyraghyn shayqaltyp, biylikti esengiretip tynady emes pe? Genderlik sayasat bala tәrbiyesine de, demografiyalyq ahualgha da óz әserin tiygizbey qoymaydy. Oghan dәlel qyzdarymyzdyng júmys basty bolyp «karierasyn» jalghastyryp, túrmysqa shyqqannyng ózinde bala ayaqqa túsau dep, bala tuugha qarsylyq tanytady. Osy orayda әiel zatynyng ornyn anyqtap kóreyikshi. Qúran kәrimde aitylghanday erkekting әielden artyqshylyghynyng syry erkekting mal tapqyshtyghynda yaghny mal tabugha jaralghanynda delingen. Býginde kerisinshe «mening erkekten qay jerim kem, ózimdi ózim asyray alamyn, erkekting maghan qajeti shamaly, ghylym damyghan zamanda erkeksiz-aq balaly bola alamyn «dep jýrgen qyz kelinshekterimiz kóp-aq. Múnday әielderding kýieuine baghynbaq týgili, shanyraq kóteruge degen niyeti de joq ekeni anyq. Júmys basty bolyp, ýiding tirliginen qol ýzip, basy bayly dalanyng adamyna ainalady. Áriyne, múnday otbasylardyng ajyrasyp tynary sózsiz. Keshke júmystan sharshap kelgende aldynan kýlimdep әieli, erkelep balalary shyqpaghan otbasynda qaydan bereke bolsyn?! Qay jaghynan alyp qarasaqta әielden erkek artyq jaratylghan. Ony moyyndaghymyz kelmese de, moyyndaugha mindettimiz. Aqylmen oilaghan adamgha «Jәnnat - ananyng tabanynyng astynda» dep aitylghan sózding ózi jetkilikti emes pe?

Tarih betterin paraqtaytyn bolsaq, búrynghy ghasyrlarda ómir sýrgen tekti analar men әiel adamdardyng esimderi eriksiz oigha oralady. El biylegen Tomiristing aqyldylyghy, esimi el úranyna ainalghan abyz analardyng biri - Domalaq ananyng әuliyeligi, batyrlyghy barshagha ayan. Úly otan soghysyna qatysqan myndaghan músylman әielderding ishinen Áliya men Mәnshýkting «Shyghystyng qos júldyzy» retinde mәngi jarqyrap qaluy tegine tartqandyqtyng belgisi bolsa kerek. Al býgingi bizding súlularymyzgha qarasaq, osy oiymyzgha kirbing týskendey. Olay deytinim, «Bir qolymen әlemdi, ekinshi qolymen besikti terbetetin» analarymyzdyng kóbi, óz otbasylaryn tastap, ózgening shanyraghyna oiran salyp, ózge erkekting etegine jarmasyp, kýn keship jatqandyghy. Ata-babalarymyz «tirshilikting bastauyn - әiel» dep sanaghan. Ghabit Mýsirepov aitqanday, «Eng jaman degen әielding qolynan adam jasau keledi» degen, biraq býgingidey qyzdarymyzdyng úsaqtalyp jatqanyna qarap, búlay oilamaq týgili senging de kelmeydi. Batyrlyq pen qayrattylyqty ón boyyna qatar jinap, biyazylyghymen ózin baghalata biler qazaq qyzynyng taza da túnyq bolmysy - tektiligimizding ainasy. Sondyqtan da qyzdarymyz qoghamdaghy alatyn óz ornyn bilip, kónilge qayau týsirmese eken deymiz.

«Abay-aqparat»