Avtordyng taqyryby: Toygha barmaytyn qazaq

Mening bir jaqsy joldasym bar. Jýrgen jerine tanymal, jany qazaq azamat. Qarapayym auylda tuyp-ósip, auyldyng mektebin bitirgen, joghary bilim alyp, barlyq jerde ýzdik oqyp, ghylymy dәreje alghan jigitterding bireui. Qazirgi lauazymy da oidaghyday, janúyaly, 2 balasy bar.

Kóp jyldar boyy aralasyp, keyde ózara kezdesip, aqyldasyp jýretin joldasymnyng boyynan bayqaghan bir qasiyet – onyng toygha barmaytyn әdeti.

Basynda kóp nazar audarmay, ózimning de toygha barugha, sonyng ishinde, qúdalyqqa baru, mereytoylar, shildehana, sýndetke otyrghyzu, tughan kýndi atap ótu, lauazymdy juu, zeynetkerlikke shyghu toylaryna bara bermeytin basym әlgi dosym osy kýnge deyin bir toydan kórmegenime songhy kezde ghana kónil audara bastadym.

Alayda, ortaq tanystarymyz, dostarymyz bar degendey, atamyz qazaq aitqanday «ómir bar jerde, qaza bar», - degendey, janaghy dosymnyng janazalar men as beru salttarynan ýnemi qalmaytynyn da bilemin.

Jaqynda sol dosymdy kórip qalyp, kópten qoya almay jýrgen súraghymdy qoydym. «Osy seni birde-bir toydan kórmeppin. Sen әdeyi toylargha barmaysyng ba, әlde basqa bir sebepteri bar ma? Jaqyn dostaryn, tughan-tuysqandaryng renjimey me?» - dep súraq qoydym. Mening súraghyma: «IYә, toygha barmaytyn qazaqtyng bireui men bolamyn. Onyng da sebepteri bar»,- dedi.

Onyng aituynsha, eng basty sebebi - toygha ketetin shyghyndardyng qynjyltatyny... Jaghdaylary keletin adam bolsa, sóz joq, jaghdaylary joqtar da nesie alyp, qaryzgha belshesinen batyp, júrttan qalmau ýshin janyn saluynda. Búghan qosa, toydy ótkizetin asabalardyng dóreki oiyndary, oghash әzilder, qart adamdardyng sekirip biyleui, oidan shygharylghan salt-dәstýrlerding jýrgizilui sebep eken.

Taghy bir kelise almaytyn, ony naghyz qynjyltatyn mәsele - toygha jasy kishkentay sәbiyler nemese oqushy balalardyng baruy. Toylar ýnemi keshki kezderde ótedi, soghan qaramastan kishkentay balalar men mektep oqushylary ýlken júrtpen birdey biylep, tamaq iship, toy toylap, mәre-sәre boluda.

Osy baghyttaghy әngimeni jalghastyrghanymyzda, oidan shygharylghan salt-dәstýrlerding kóbeyip kele jatyrghandyghyn, keybir toylardyng ishine mashinamen, jan-januarmen kiru, jarysyp syilyq beru, әrtisterding qaltasyna aqsha tyghyp, óleng aityp túrghan әnshimen jaghalasyp suretke týsu mәselelerin qynjyla aitty.

Sosyn elimizding әr ónirinde toylardyng әrtýrli ótui, biregey bekitilgen ssenariylerding joqtyghy da sóz boldy. Kórshiles elderde songhy kezde osy salagha toqtau qoyyla bastady. Kórshiles Ózbekstanda toygha qonaq shaqyru, toydy qay kezde ótkizu mәselelerin jergilikti auyldyq, aimaqtyq basshylar qadaghalaydy degen ústanymnyng payda bolghany da sóz boldy.

Dosymnyng aituynsha, bizderde janaza shygharu, as beru sharalary da biregey ssenariymen ótse degen ótinishi bar. Elimizding Diny basqarmasymen as bergendegi dastarhannyng mәziri bekitilse de, ony kóbi әli kýnge deyin oryndamay keledi. As bergen dastarhan toygha jazylghan dastarhannan kem  emes jerler de bar. Búghan jauapty tek ýy iyesi emes, sol jerge qúran oqugha kelgen imamnyng da jauapkershiligin eskergen jón dep oilaymyn dep atap ótti toygha barmaytyn qazaq.... Tipti elimizding keybir ónirlerinde qaytys bolyp ketken adamdardy eske alu kezinde júrtqa kiyim taratu, moldalargha aqsha nemese shapan jabu salttary oryn alghan jaylardy da estiymiz. Áriyne, janaza shygharu, mýrdeni jerleu, as beru qaytys bolghan adamnyng tuysqandary ýshin bir synaq qoy. Alayda osy baghyttaghy sharalar da bir retke qoyylsa núr ýstine núr bolar edi.

Býgingi toylardyng kópshiliginde ysyrapshyldyqqa jol berilip jatqanyn kórip jýrmiz. Qasiyetti Qúranda: «Mal-dýniyendi orynsyz shashyp-tógip, ysyrap qylma! Shýbәsiz ysyrapshylar shaytangha bauyr...», - delingen (Isra sýresi). Sonday-aq, ardaqty payghambarymyz búl jóninde: «Adamdy adasu jolyna jeteleytin nәrse – ysyrapshyldyq pen tәkapparlyq», - degen eken. Demek, toydaghy ysyrapshyldyq jaqsylyqqa bastamasy anyq. Dinimizde ysyrapshyldyqtyng ýlken kýnә ekenin búqaranyng esine salyp otyrugha tiyispiz. Búl әsirese belshesinen qaryzgha batyp, toy jasap jýrgenderge ýlken sabaq bolar edi.

As-toylardy ótkizuding qaghida-erejesin jasau da qogham dertine ainalyp kele jatqan ysyrapshyldyqqa jol bermeuge septigin tiygizer edi. Búl orynsyz sәn-saltanatty, jarysyp toy jasau men kerek bolmasa da, zәulim saraylar saludy shekter edi. Esesine bosqa ysyrap bolyp ketip jatqan qarajatty qayyrymdylyqqa, adamdardy, әsirese jastardy jaqsylyqqa baulugha, aurudy emdeuge, ashty toyyndyrugha, jalanashty kiyindiruge, jalpy imandylyq isine júmsaugha bolar edi.

Toyda aqsha, azyq-týlik ysyrapshyldyghynan bólek, uaqyt ysyrapshyldyghy da bar. Uaqyt - asa baghaly qúndylyq.  Biletinder ataqty aqyn Qadyr Myrza-Áli danghaza dumandar men dauryqpa bas qosulardan aulaq jýretin dep aitady. Ol tipti әdebiyetimizding alyp aqsaqaly S.Múqanovtyng ózin toyyna shaqyrghanyn, biraq oghan barmaghanyn «IYirim» kitabynda jazady. Kóp ishinde bayqay qoymas dep oilaydy. Alayda S.Múqanov múny bayqamay qala almaydy. Qadyr aghamyzdyng uaqytty, enbekti qatty qadirlegendikten, osynday qadamgha barghanyn andaymyz.

Ysyrapshyldyq - jaratqan únatpaytyn is. Ysyrap adasugha bastaydy. Sondyqtan qoghamda kóp ysyrap jasaghan adamgha kóp qúrmet kórsetilmeytindey tetik qalyptastyrylghany abzal. Toy-tomalaqtardaghy artyq әreketti shekteu ýshin arnayy zang qabyldau kerek degen pikirler estilude. Rasynda, qúqyqtyq-normativtik aktiler qabyldau arqyly, toygha shaqyrylatyn adamgha, toyda jýretin kólik sanyna, toy ótetin uaqytqa, beriletin syi-siyapattargha jәne ózge de mәseleler boyynsha tyiymdar men shekteuler engizuge әbden bolady.

Q.Myrza-Áli uaqytyn zaya jibermey, tynbay enbektengenining arqasynda últtyng ystyq yqylasyna bólenip, danq biyigine kóterildi. Uaqyt pen enbekti qadirlegen Qadir siyaqty aqyn, ghúlama túlghalardy óskeleng úrpaqqa ónege etip kórsetuimiz kerek. Jastar uaqytyn orynsyz oiyn men arzan qyljaqqa júmsaghannan góri, ghylym iygeruge júmsaghany ózderine de, eline de, tipti býkil adamzatqa paydaly bolmaq. Sonda ghana Qazaqstan bolmashy ghana jetistikke dauryghyp maqtanbaytyn, qayta ghylym-ilimi qaryshtap damyghan ozyq elge ainalmaghy kәmil.

Ghylym iygerip, zamanauy ónerkәsip salu arqyly ghana órkeniyet kóshine ilespekpiz. Sauyq qúryp jýre bersek, ghúmyr bosqa ótpek. Óz jerimizding baylyghyn ózimiz iygere almay qor bolyp, investisiya súrap, ózgege qol jayghanymyz jayghan. Jazda yrshyp jýrip әn salghan, qysta qorek tappay qor bolghan shegirtkening kýiin keshpekpiz.

Toygha barmaytyn qazaghymyzdyng aituynsha, kóptegen músylman elderinde toy toylau basqasha ótedi. Keybir elimizge tanymal adamdar ózderining toygha aparghan syi-syyapattaryn býkil elge maqtanyp kórsetetinderi basqa adamdardyng ashu-yzasyn shaqyratyny aidan anyq. Alayda, oilap qarasaq, sol adamdardyng bizding jasaghan toylarymyzdyng arqasynda bayyp, ózderin qúdaydan kem emestey sanaytyn jaghdaygha jetuine ózimiz sebepker ekenimizdi este saqtau kerek. Olardy ózimiz esirtip otyrmyz.

Búl az degendey, bizding júldyzdarymyz, olardyng janúya mýsheleri, jaqyndary ózderining túrghyn ýilerin, ishetin tamaghyn, kiyetin kiyimin, kóligin halyqqa internet jelileri arqyly maqtanyp kórsetip jatady. Osynyng bәri halyqtyng sol toygha ketken shyghyndarynyng arqasynda mýmkin bolyp jatqan ýdiris ekeni qynjyltady....

«Qazaq bayysa toy jasaydy»,- degen sóz teginnen-tegin aitylmaghan bolar. Áriyne, balalaryna toy jasap beru ata-ananyng mindeti dep týsinuge bolady. Alayda, osy sharalargha kónil audaratyn uaqyt jetken siyaqty. Búl salada tarihshylar men salt-dәstýrimizdi zertteytin etnograf ghalymdar ózindik pikirlerin aitqany jón bolar edi dep oilaymyn. Ne bolmasa auyldaghy sharalargha jergilikti basshylardyng da nazar audarghany jón.

Al janaza shygharu, as beru, eske alu, kónil shәy degen sharlargha jergilikti imamdar jauapty bolghany dúrys degen pikirdi úsynamyz. Osy baghyttaghy shaqyrylghan qonaqtargha kiyim kiygizu mәselesin toqtatu kerek ekendigi sózsiz. Búghan Diny basqarmasynyng arnayy sheshimi de qajet emes siyaqty.

Mening dosymnyng toygha barmau ózindik qaghidatyn da týsinuge bolady. Ol qazaqtyng negizgi salttaryna qarsy emes, ol da últjandy, elimizding damuyna ózindik ýlesin qosyp jýrgen azamattardyng bireui dep bilemin. Jogharyda bayandalghan sharlargha onyng barmaytyn sebebin onyng halqymyzgha degen janashyrlyghy, uayymy men júrtty iygi jolgha bastaugha qosyp kele jatqan ýlesi dep týsinuge bolady dep oilaymyn. Búl jerde qazaqtyng toysyz ómir sýre almaytyny aidan anyq, biraq ta osy kóterilgen mәselelerge naqty bagha berip, qolgha alyp, bir retke keltiretin uaqyt әldeqashan jetken siyaqty...

Jónsiz dauryghu, bos maqtan bayansyz dýnie ekenin týsinetin kez jetti. Qarqyndy damyp otyrghan zamanda qúndylyq ózgerui tiyis. Qaryzgha batyp danghaza duman jasau shyn aqymaqtyn, sorlynyng isi dep úghynatyn kez jetti. Bayandy qogham qalyptastyrugha әrqaysymyz hal-qadirimizshe atsalyssaq... Jana Qazaqstanda janasha oilap, eski kertartpalyqtan arylghanymyz jón bolar. Bizge  jarqyn bolashaq jasau ýshin iygi maqsat belgilep, janasha qareket qylmaq lazym...

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