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20.01.2014.Niu-York.

Býgin qaytudyng qamyna kirisken kýn boldy. El eske týsti. Eldegi aghayyn-tuys, jenge qaryndas, nemereler kóz aldygha keldi. Osynda kelerde eske alghan jerler eske oraldy. Sonymen, jayaulata seruendep, bizdi osynda keluge múryndyq bolghan, Amerika tarihyndaghy ekinshi joghary oqu orny – Kolumbiya uniyversiyteti qalashyghyna keldik. Niu-Yorkting maqtanyshy – Manhetten baghynyng etegin basa ornalasqan qalashyq jalpaq jәne biteu jartasty biyik tekshege salynypty. Ertegidegi keyipkerler shaghyn kólshikke tónip túrghan jartastargha eskertkish bop bederlenipti. Ár tústan kók tas baspaldaqtar shoqygha shaqyrady. Aspaly kópir arqyly qalamen jalghasyp jatyr. Tas daualdar, tas qabyrghalar, tómengi jertóleleri taspen órilgen.

Uniyversiytetting many ejelgi sәulet mәnerindegi 5-7 qabatty salmaqty ýiler. Bas ghimaraty juan dingekterge shyntaghyn tiregen kýmbezdi, baspaldaqty. Aldy ken. Bitirushiler sol alanqayda diplomdaryn alu rәsimin óteydi. Kitaphanasy da ejelgi tas ghimarat. Qarsy aldyndaghy qarnezding mandayyna – Gomer, Gerodot bastatqan tarihshylardyn, al shyghys qabyrghasynyng kәrnezine Shekspir bastatqan jazushylardyng aty oiylyp jazylghan. Áriyne, kitaphana býgingi tehnikalyq jabdyqtarmen jaraqtalghan.

Nazymnyng doktorlyq ghylymy júmysy osy kitaphanamen tikeley baylanysty. Bizben alang bop dissertasiyasyna ornyghyp otyra almay jýr. Biz Hamilitonnyng qúrmetine qoyylghan oqu korpusyn araladyq. Muzyka, mәdeniyet, әdebiyet, etnografiya dәristeri osynda ótetin  siyaqty. Qabyrghadaghy bir kesteden Anton Pavlovich Chehovtyng sureti men onyng shygharmashylyq ómirbayanyna berilgen týsiniktemeni kórdim. Auditoriyalary  shaghyn, arqasy bar oryndyq, shyntaqsýieuge ghana jaraytyn stol. Zady, bizdegi siyaqty qanatyn jayyp jiberip, qalqalanyp, úiqygha basugha ne ózge bir nәrsemen ainalysugha esh mýmkindik  bermeu ýshin jasalghan siyaqty. Bәrinde de ekran men qondyrghy bar. Studentter sany az ba, әlde, magistrant pen doktoranttargha arnalghan ba, shaghyn.

Jataqhanalary – kampustary da irgeli, salmaqty ýiler eken. Dәriske qatysatyn emes, múnda ondaygha rúqsat berilmeydi, ainalagha tanyrqay qarap, balamyzgha ornyqty bilim berse eken – dep metrogha bettedik. Endigi bet alys – qytay qorjasy. Qytaydyng ordasy men qordasyn kórip, әseri úmytyla qoymaghandyqtan ba, әlde, Amerikanyng «China town» turaly qylmys hikayalaryn kóp kórgendikten be, sonday bir alyp bara jatqan «qarbalasty» bayqamadym. Bizding «qara bazarlardyn» búdan kóri  qara-qúrasy kóp siyaqty. Biyik ýiler, ashyq jaymalar, úsaq dýkender. Kóshede zәngiler men ontýstik amerikalyqtardyng da qarasy molan. Áriyne, ózderining qaralary tipti mol. Múnda sayahatshylar basym. Kóp qydyrmay keri búryldyq.

Metrogha taqay bergende sol jaq búryshtan kórgen kórinisim әli esimde. Tura eki ýiding qospasynda, bizge de tanys, qoqys orap salatyn ýlken qara sellofandar satylanyp ýiilip túrghan. Bir nәrse arasynan jylt etkendey boldy. Selt ete qaldym. Sóitsem... astyna da, eki qoltyghyna da, keudesine de, basyna da әlgi qoqyr-soqyr salynghan auzy buuly qara sellofandy orap alghan, beti men kózi ghana jyltyrap kóringen qytay óndes kempir әldenege qarap baqzor otyr. Bet әlpeti men kózi – myna «qoqys kempirdin» qayyrshy emes ekenin  birden bildiredi. «Men de, mine, qoqyspyn» – dep әldenege qyrystanghan qyrsyq kempir siyaqty. Balalarym suretke týsiruge rúqsat bermedi.

***  

Niu-Yorkting jaratylystanu múrajayyn araladyq. Múnda dýniyening tórt búryshyndaghy jer jaratylghannan bergi adam-atanyng sýiek, buyn, qan (DNK) bezderi men shybyn-shirkeyge deyingining qatyrmasy bar. Eng ýlken jarylystan keyingi planetalardyng payda boluy, on segiz myng ghalam, bizding galaktika, sonyng ishinde kýn jýiesining qúrylymy turaly týrli-týsti saghymdy kórinister sanandy ashyp, tandanudyng ózinen adasyp qalasyn.

Surette: Jaratylystanu múrajayynyng kireberisi.

Sonyng ishinde, ghalam jýiesining qúm saghat siyaqty jiylyp kep, bir kenistikten ekinshi yqylymgha (antimiyr!) tar ghana quystan ótui, jarylys arqyly  úsaq planetalargha ainalu kórinisi – mening sanamda  on bes jyldan beri saghymdanyp jýrgen arsy, kýrsi (mәngilik quat mekeni), yqylym zaman  (Myqan aghashy) jónindegi qiyaly pikirlerimdi rastaghanday kórindi.

Múnda ózbekting de, qyrghyzdyng da, týrikmenning de, yakuttyng da múrazattary bar. Áriyne, qazaqtan esh eksponat joq. Soghan qarap biz Amerika ghalymdary ýshin tylsymdaghy el bolghanymyz ghoy dep oilaysyn. Odan basqasha týsindiruge amalyng bar ma?

Osynday kónilsiz oidan keyin kýndelik toltyrudyng ózi de erikkenning ermegi siyaqty maghynasyz seziledi eken. Alghan әserim ghajap, biraq, ghajap bolghanyn qayteyin, arty osynday týnilumen ayaqtaldy. Izdep jýrip tapqanym, әlemdegi qasiretti tabighy apattyng tizimine ilingen Aral tenizining alpysynshy jyldardaghy jiyegi men qazirgi jiyegi salystyrylghan bir paraq qaghazdyng kólemindegi syzba. Sony kórip: «Tym bolmasa qasiretimiz ayan eken ghoy!», – degen oimen ózimdi júbattym. Onyng ózinde de tanqalarlyq qúbylystargha da búrtiya kóz salghanymdy, onyng týpki sebebin sezgen qyzym Almanyng osy syzbany tapqan enbegin esh jibergendey bolmayyn dep, «júbandym». Sonda deymin-au, tyba men saqa ilingen jaratylystanu pen etnografiyalyq múrajaygha, әlemdegi element ataulynyng týp túqiyanymen bizde kezdesedi dep keudemizdi tesip jibererdey soqqylaghan bizding әlgi miyneraldarymyz ben altyn adamdarymyz qayda qalghan? Álde olarymyz jasandy ma? «Jylqyny ýiretken kóshpeliler eken, onyng otany Botay dep amerikalyqtar moyyndady» – dep kýrpildetip jýrgenimiz de jay maqtan bolyp shyqty ma? Bizding kempirlerdin  kiymeshek-shylauyshy qyrghyz ben bashqúrttardyng kempirlerining kiymeshek-shylauyshynan kem be?

Surette: Aral turaly, tipti býkil Qazaqstan turaly múrajaydaghy bir kórneki qúral osy.

Surette: Aral tenizining sualu kórinisi.

Mәsele, basqada jatyr-au deymin. Halyqaralyq kórmeler men ghylymy konferensiyalargha ózge halyqtar sol salanyng mamandaryn jiberedi. Al bizde, Gýlzada ashynyp aitsa – aitqanday, toghyshar sheneunikter men dýmbilez deputattardy, alypsatarlardy, qu qúdasy men sumaqay qúrdasyn, ghylym men mәdeniyetten maqúrym mәjusiyler men shópjelkelerdi jiberedi. Olar da syilyq aparuyn aparady, biraq, últtyq ónerding ýlgisin emes, altyn men platinadan qúiylghan «qúndy «paranyn»qataryna jatatyn baghaly zattar syilaydy. Al ony múrajaygha qoya almaysyn. Dereu tergeu astyna alynady. Áytpese, amerikalatqan atjalmandardan kende emespiz. Qatty nazalanghanym sonday: «Men de professormyn, men de múrajay qyzmetkerimin. Mamandarmen kezdeseyinshi», – dep ózeurep jýrip bireuine jolyqqamyn Vashingtonda.

Sonda olar: «Sizder úsynghan múrazattardan últtyq erekshelik angharylmaghan bolar. Qazirgi kezdegi jasandy qymbat zattardan jasalghan múralardy syigha tartqany esimizde. Bizde olar qúndylyqqa jatpaydy. Saudalyq qoldanystaghy zat retinde qaralady jәne ondaghy týsinikter óz tilderinizde jazylmapty, oryssha, aghylshynsha toltyrylghan. Sizder ózgening yqpalyna (әriyne, orysty mekzep otyr) qatty úshyraghansyzdar. Aeroporttan oryssha sóilep qarsy alady ekensizder. Bizding bir ghalymdar ýsh ay qazaqsha ýirenip, bir konferensiyagha baryp edi, qazaqshanyng keregi bolmay qalypty. Ýsh ay uaqytymdy beker bosqa jibergen ekenmin», – dep ókinip, syigha bergen zattarynyzdy «últtyq ereksheligi joq» dep baghalap, auksiondyq bólimge jiberdi ghoy deymin. Mazasyzdanbanyz. Aytayyn. Aldaghy uaqytta eskeriledi. Sizderding ózderiniz de maman almasyp túrynyzdar. Men kórmening mamany emespin. Biraq janaghyday sózdi estip qalghanym bar. Ayyp etpeniz», – dep dymymdy ishime kiyiz tyghynmen nygharlap kirgizip jiberdi.

O, Alla! Endi kimge shaghynamyn?!. Mynda da sol jaghday, sol jauap aldymnan shyghary anyq. Bosqa qorlanbayyn dep endi dymymdy ózim syrtqa shygharmadym. Bayaghy mazaq – bir mazaq, bayaghy qazaq – sol qazaq! Bizding elshiligimiz, ondaghy mәdeniyetke jauap beretin dәbirshik sonday sarames pe edi.

Úly әsermen әri qúmygha qorlanyp pәterge qayttym. Kórgenimdi kýndelikke tolyq týsire alar emespin. Keshirinizder. Jýikem taghy da shýikelenip keledi. Búl da bir ómirding tabasy da, qaytemiz. Qalamnyng orynyna barmaghymdy tistedim.

(Jalghasy bar...)

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