...tak kto j ty, nakones?

- Ya - chasti toy sily,

chto vechno hochet

zla y vechno sovershaet blago.

Gete, Faust.

Florensiyanyng últtyq muzeyinde Italiyanyng úly perzenti, Renessans dәuirining asa kórnekti ókili  Miykelandjelonyng «Jenimpaz» dep atalatyn mәrmar tastan qashalghan mýsini bar. Dene bitimi kerim, alasa mandayynyng aldynda búira shәshi jelbiregen jalanash  jigit, basy salbyrap, ólimge moyynsynghan jauyn tizesimen basyp túr. Biraq jenimpaz kezinde qanyn ishkisi kelgen dúshpanyna endi kózining qiyghyn da salghysy kelmey, ony óltiruge da asygha qoymaydy. Óitkeni osydan әri qaray ony búl jenisting lәzzaty qanaghattandyrmaydy da.

Sayabaqta ornatylghan Múqaghaly eskertkishining aldyna kelgenimde mening oiyma Miykelandjelonyng «Jenimpazy» oraldy. Uaqyt tarazysymen ólshesek aralarynda talay ghasyrlyq alshaqtyq jatqan, kóniline aluan-aluan oy taghalaytyn eki eskertkishting ruhany ýilesiminde birin-biri tolyqtyryp túrghan ýndestik bar.

Jalghan dýniyening auyr beynetinen qútylghan Múqaghaly da myna ómirge beyqam qarap, keudesining qonyr kýmbirin tyndap, sayabaqtaghy jayqalghan aghashtardyng ortasynda, ómirinde zәru bolghan jenisting bәrine týk mәn bermey, týpsiz tereng oiynyng týiinin sheshe almay, qabaghy týksiyip, salqyn túnjyraydy.

...tak kto j ty, nakones?

- Ya - chasti toy sily,

chto vechno hochet

zla y vechno sovershaet blago.

Gete, Faust.

Florensiyanyng últtyq muzeyinde Italiyanyng úly perzenti, Renessans dәuirining asa kórnekti ókili  Miykelandjelonyng «Jenimpaz» dep atalatyn mәrmar tastan qashalghan mýsini bar. Dene bitimi kerim, alasa mandayynyng aldynda búira shәshi jelbiregen jalanash  jigit, basy salbyrap, ólimge moyynsynghan jauyn tizesimen basyp túr. Biraq jenimpaz kezinde qanyn ishkisi kelgen dúshpanyna endi kózining qiyghyn da salghysy kelmey, ony óltiruge da asygha qoymaydy. Óitkeni osydan әri qaray ony búl jenisting lәzzaty qanaghattandyrmaydy da.

Sayabaqta ornatylghan Múqaghaly eskertkishining aldyna kelgenimde mening oiyma Miykelandjelonyng «Jenimpazy» oraldy. Uaqyt tarazysymen ólshesek aralarynda talay ghasyrlyq alshaqtyq jatqan, kóniline aluan-aluan oy taghalaytyn eki eskertkishting ruhany ýilesiminde birin-biri tolyqtyryp túrghan ýndestik bar.

Jalghan dýniyening auyr beynetinen qútylghan Múqaghaly da myna ómirge beyqam qarap, keudesining qonyr kýmbirin tyndap, sayabaqtaghy jayqalghan aghashtardyng ortasynda, ómirinde zәru bolghan jenisting bәrine týk mәn bermey, týpsiz tereng oiynyng týiinin sheshe almay, qabaghy týksiyip, salqyn túnjyraydy.

Endi aqyngha bәribir. Ol - jenimpaz. Tipti, әldekimderding soyylyn soghyp aqynnyng jýregin jaralaghandar da uaqytynda qateleskenderin moyyndap, ruhynan keshirim súrap, ony maqtap  maqala jazyp, jyr alybynyng syrtynan talay qauesetti qarsha boratqan dúshpandaryna deyin jamyrap Múqaghaly turaly estelik aityp ýlgirdi.

Aruaghyn razy qylu ýshin, jýgirip jýrip, kózi tirisinde kóre almaghan ataq-danqtyng bәrin aqyngha alyp berdik. Kitaptary tom-tom bolyp basylyp shyghyp jatyr. Eng bastysy aqynnyng jyrlary halyqtyng jýregining tórinen oiyp túryp ornyn aldy. Bir sózben aitqanda Múqaghaly últtyq maqtanyshymyzgha ainaldy. Endi Múqaghali  turaly shyn niyetpen de, tipti, qyzghanyshpen aitylghan sózder de tek aqynnyng mereyin biyiktete týspek.

Osydan artyq aqyngha qanday jenis kerek?  Shattanyp, jenisting quanyshynan basyng ainalatyn baqytty sәt osy emes pe? Alayda  ruhy mýlde bólek jenisti kýtkendey bolghan eskertkish Múqaghaly basqa bir oily dýniyening túmanyna oranyp, múnayatyn sekildi. Ne oilap otyr eken, ol?

Bala kýninde qyrynda oinaq salghan, ómirding boranyndaghy adasqan shaqtarynda týsine jiyi-jii kirgen auylyn oilay ma? Álde taghdyr degen asaugha auyzdyqsyz minip, qor bolghan jyldaryn esine alyp, ókinip otyr ma eken? Nemese, myna ómirdi ótpeytindey kórip, adamgershilikting sәulesin úmytqan  pendelerge әli kýnge deyin janyng ashyp, qamyghyp otyrsyng ba, abyzym?

Nege ýndemeysin? Jazylmay qalghan jyrlaryng men aitylmay ketken syrlarynnyng sandyghyn ashyp, kónilindi jasytqan kedeylikten serpilip, ómirimning óliarasynda menimen bir mezgil sóilesip, jýregimning qayghysyn tyndashy. Men de sening eskertkishinning aldyna jetiskennen kelip túrghan joqpyn, ayaulym.   Ómirding ayazynan jaurap, ruhsyz qoghamnan jalyghyp, myna jalghan dýniyeden syrlasugha túratyn bir adam taba almaghandyqtan keldim, qasyna.

Neghylghan oy janshyp túrghan múnshama,

Neni ansaymyn,

Kimge baryp, múng shagham?!

Áure etetin әlde jyrym, senbisin?

Álekke sap, әr nәrsege júmsaghan?!

Ne kókseymin?!

Nege múnsha jalyqtym?!

Álde ómirdi endi bildim, jana úqtym?

Qolyng jetpes quatyna qúmar qyp,

Áurelegen әlde sen be, jaryq kýn?!

Anghal, aqynym-ay! Nege sonsha asyqtyng baqy dýniyege?  Taghdyrdyng shylbyryna sýiretilip ólgen ayanyshty óliminmen kimge, neni dәleldemek boldyn? Ózindi shyn sýietin jandardyng jýregin jaralap, janyn jylatqannan basqa, sen búl óliminmen eshteneni de dәleldey alghan joqsyng -  qatigez zamangha.

Qayta sen ketken song zúlym zaman onan sayyn yzgharyn tógip, qaharyna minip, qabaghynan qar jauyp, qatulana týsip, janymyzdy tondyrdy. Naghyz aqyndardyng bәrin súm ajal әli de bayaghyday qyryqtyng qyrqasynan asa salysymen óltirip jatyr. Taghdyryndy qaytalap, qanshama aqyn qyrshynnan qiylyp, artynnan ketti. Sening janyng olardyng Ruhymen endigi  qauyshqan da bolar.

Tasbauyr zaman halyqty ayamaq týgil, qayta olardy búrynghydan beter janshyp, sýliktey soryp, ruhyn syndyryp, azdyryp-tozdyryp  bitti. Tәuelsizdik alyp, azattyqtyng tany ata ma degenimizde, barlyghy kerisinshe bolyp qúldyqtyng qamyty moynymyzgha kiyilip,  armandarymyz sualyp, janymyz quaryp, jýregimiz tozyp, úyatsyzdyqtyng dauyly qoghamymyzdy doly jelding aidauyna týsken úlpa qarday úshyryp әketip barady. Ónsheng nadan, imannan bezgen, qazaqtyng qanyn qansha ishse de toymaytyn, qansha ezse da aiyzy qanbaytyn, baylyghyn tonaghan sayyn arany ashyla týsetin qoghamnyng jalmauyzdarymen kýresetin dәrmen de qalmady keudemizde. Qalay kýresemiz? Ayaghymyzda - qúldyqtyng shynjyry, qolymyzda - qúldyqtyng kiseni.

Jalghasy bar

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